Love's Arrival

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 1311
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Love's Arrival

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 11 Jun 2019, 06:31

Love's Arrival


Our mothers and grandparents
admired this same dusting of stars...

I slip my palm into your hand.
Somewhere a spaceship
from an outer pocket of the universe
is speeding towards us
with another couple in love.

Like us they will face minor problems, too.
Maybe their luggage will be lost,
transferred onto a train traveling
just under the speed of light
in the opposite direction.

They will land on Earth
long after we have passed.
Will our great great grandchildren
see their ship set down?

I snuggle against you
and stroke your blonde hair.
You kiss me over and over,
as if I was the last good looking man
on the planet,

both of us as excited
as any honeymoon couple in the 1950s
entering a hotel lobby
near the airport,

our moment about to arrive

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1088
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Love's Arrival

#2 Post by Kenneth2816 » 11 Jun 2019, 07:34

Don't change a word. Beautiful

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1088
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Love's Arrival

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 11 Jun 2019, 08:18

On second thought, cut the last line. It's redundant to the title. We get it with honeymooners about to check into a motel. Really wonderful poem. My 1st nom for IBPC

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1506
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Love's Arrival

#4 Post by FranktheFrank » 11 Jun 2019, 14:37

sweet romance bob,
some exciting scenarios.

'our moment' is a good close,

not sure you need 'near the airport'

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1311
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Love's Arrival

#5 Post by BobBradshaw » 11 Jun 2019, 18:58

Ken, Frank — thank you

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1557
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Love's Arrival

#6 Post by Michael (MV) » 13 Jun 2019, 19:22

 

Hi Bob,


both of us as excited
as any honeymoon couple in the 1950s
entering a hotel lobby
near the airport,

our moment about to land.

or

both of us as excited
as any honeymoon couple in the 1950s
entering a hotel lobby
near the airport,

our moment about to take off.   (or: our moment about to take flight)

 
 
  8)

Michael (MV)
 

 
 
   
 

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1311
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Love's Arrival

#7 Post by BobBradshaw » 13 Jun 2019, 19:42

Thanks, Michael, for the options...best, Bob

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