My Funeral

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

My Funeral

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 17 Sep 2019, 09:23

My Funeral


My life savings will leave
just enough cash for fireworks--
something to celebrate my passing.

Otherwise, who will come
other than my bookie? His last chance
to rifle through my open casket for change?

Or maybe the heavy footsteps
of my ex? Her last chance to soil
my reputation?

Let everyone shake their heads
as the pastor recites by rote
from worn notes.

How I was honest, a loving father,
a faithful husband…No wonder
I'll be sporting a smug smile,

like a man with a winning lottery ticket
in his hip pocket. Won't it be obvious
there's been a mistake,

that I shouldn't be there?
That clearly they have
the wrong man?

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: My Funeral

#2 Post by Michael (MV) » 17 Sep 2019, 09:59

Hi Bob,

I like & relate to

maybe more later; for now
I must lay me down
to rest
for my wake
in the sunrise

😎

Michael (MV)

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: My Funeral

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 17 Sep 2019, 11:50

Ha. This is wonderful. Love "clearly they have the wrong man.". Saw a meme recently that said, "When I die, check my pockets. I may still have your lighter."

Great poem.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: My Funeral

#4 Post by Michael (MV) » 18 Sep 2019, 08:42

 
the poltergeist is back   :)

My life savings will leave  (wow, the nuance I find in your opening line)
just enough cash for fireworks & champagne
to celebrate my arrival Home.

Funerals pretend
the end

but there is no ending

catch the wind
but you'll never catch
the breath of me

the same boy
and I'll always be
me


Bob,

I like how your poem defies death with humor

and the encouragement of creativity


Bob, can this be one for the upcoming IBPC short-list?


8)

Michael (MV)

 
 
 
 
 

meenas17
Posts: 822
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: My Funeral

#5 Post by meenas17 » 18 Sep 2019, 16:08

Beautiful writing , Bob. You rock.
Wish I could write like you.
meenas17

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: My Funeral

#6 Post by BobBradshaw » 18 Sep 2019, 19:58

Thanks, Michael. Of course. Thank you.

Meenas...thank you.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1168
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: My Funeral

#7 Post by SivaRamanathan » 19 Sep 2019, 19:20

Bob
This is a remarkable poem.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: My Funeral

#8 Post by BobBradshaw » 19 Sep 2019, 20:21

Thank you

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1168
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: My Funeral

#9 Post by SivaRamanathan » 19 Sep 2019, 20:43

Bob
The last two stanzas make the poem.

S

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: My Funeral

#10 Post by BobBradshaw » 23 Sep 2019, 05:36

Thank you? Siva

User avatar
Billy
Posts: 1384
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: My Funeral

#11 Post by Billy » 23 Sep 2019, 22:50

I love the lottery ending.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 2154
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: My Funeral

#12 Post by Michael (MV) » 24 Sep 2019, 22:04

Hi Bob

see how I keep returning from the grave

and to add some pun -

. . . Won't it be obvious
there's been a grave mistake, 

that I shouldn't be there?
That clearly they have
the wrong man?


Or as MV says:

. . . Won't it be obvious
there's been a grave mistake, 

even I am not
in attendance at a funeral
arranged for me


😎

Michael (MV)

BobBradshaw
Posts: 2683
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: My Funeral

#13 Post by BobBradshaw » 25 Sep 2019, 06:37

Thx, Michael.... glad you’re still enjoying this

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1619
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: My Funeral

#14 Post by Kenneth2816 » 30 Sep 2019, 15:03

Nominated

Post Reply