Beethoven's Dark Moods
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Beethoven's Dark Moods
Beethoven's Dark Moods
Why does the maestro
offend you? Because
he ignores you?
Nearly deaf, he is like someone
trying to pick out the cries
of a distant swimmer.
His rudeness also stems from illness:
colic, rheumatism, dropsy,
and a stomach always in upheaval.
Shall I go on? We forgive the crankiness
of a neighbor who sniffles,
who has a stubborn cough,
who complains all day,
like a dog anchored to a short leash,
to anyone passing by.
With Ludwig our petty grievances
have piled up like unpaid debts.
Forgiveness is hard. Sympathy harder.
We are like a misanthrope
striding past an orphanage.
Generosity is held tight,
a purse in a foreign
neighborhood.
Why does the maestro
offend you? Because
he ignores you?
Nearly deaf, he is like someone
trying to pick out the cries
of a distant swimmer.
His rudeness also stems from illness:
colic, rheumatism, dropsy,
and a stomach always in upheaval.
Shall I go on? We forgive the crankiness
of a neighbor who sniffles,
who has a stubborn cough,
who complains all day,
like a dog anchored to a short leash,
to anyone passing by.
With Ludwig our petty grievances
have piled up like unpaid debts.
Forgiveness is hard. Sympathy harder.
We are like a misanthrope
striding past an orphanage.
Generosity is held tight,
a purse in a foreign
neighborhood.
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- Posts: 1619
- Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17
Re: Beethoven's Dark Moods
I like the immediate tense. I think your word choices in simile contribute to the contemporary bleakness if that era; orphanage, misanthrope, purse in a foreign neighborhood. The poem is masterfully done.
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Beethoven's Dark Moods
Thanks, Ken... your endorsement means a lot
Re: Beethoven's Dark Moods
Like the whole poem. Loved the dog on a short leash.
Re: Beethoven's Dark Moods
Like this, Bob; I like the imagery, the way you lead it down the page to those wonderful last two lines.
However. (and you just knew there was going to be a however)
The question in the second line; does it need to be a question?
you could make the assumption that Beehtoven's famous deafness is well known,
and "He's like someone
listening to the cries
of a distant swimmer"
"Shall I go on?" this breaks the mood and simultaneously makes YOU
the writer, sound like the cranky one. =)
the penultimate stanza: how about "we are like misanthropes
striding past an ophanage,
generosity held tight,
a purse in a foreign neighborhood.
and I LOVE that image.
This is an interesting take on Beethoven, it humanizes him, and after all these
years that can be very hard to do. Nicely done.
However. (and you just knew there was going to be a however)
The question in the second line; does it need to be a question?
you could make the assumption that Beehtoven's famous deafness is well known,
and "He's like someone
listening to the cries
of a distant swimmer"
"Shall I go on?" this breaks the mood and simultaneously makes YOU
the writer, sound like the cranky one. =)
the penultimate stanza: how about "we are like misanthropes
striding past an ophanage,
generosity held tight,
a purse in a foreign neighborhood.
and I LOVE that image.
This is an interesting take on Beethoven, it humanizes him, and after all these
years that can be very hard to do. Nicely done.
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Beethoven's Dark Moods
Thanks, Judy...I like the first suggestion.