Beethoven's Dark Moods

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BobBradshaw
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Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Beethoven's Dark Moods

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 03 Oct 2019, 20:25

Beethoven's Dark Moods


Why does the maestro
offend you? Because
he ignores you?

Nearly deaf, he is like someone
trying to pick out the cries
of a distant swimmer.

His rudeness also stems from illness:
colic, rheumatism, dropsy,
and a stomach always in upheaval.

Shall I go on? We forgive the crankiness
of a neighbor who sniffles,
who has a stubborn cough,

who complains all day,
like a dog anchored to a short leash,
to anyone passing by.

With Ludwig our petty grievances
have piled up like unpaid debts.
Forgiveness is hard. Sympathy harder.

We are like a misanthrope
striding past an orphanage.
Generosity is held tight,

a purse in a foreign
neighborhood.

Kenneth2816
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Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Beethoven's Dark Moods

#2 Post by Kenneth2816 » 04 Oct 2019, 03:38

I like the immediate tense. I think your word choices in simile contribute to the contemporary bleakness if that era; orphanage, misanthrope, purse in a foreign neighborhood. The poem is masterfully done.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1366
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Beethoven's Dark Moods

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 05 Oct 2019, 03:25

Thanks, Ken... your endorsement means a lot

meenas17
Posts: 683
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Beethoven's Dark Moods

#4 Post by meenas17 » 05 Oct 2019, 07:13

Very well done, Bob.
meenas17

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Billy
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Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: Beethoven's Dark Moods

#5 Post by Billy » 06 Oct 2019, 08:52

Like the whole poem. Loved the dog on a short leash.

judyt547
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Re: Beethoven's Dark Moods

#6 Post by judyt547 » 16 Oct 2019, 04:34

Like this, Bob; I like the imagery, the way you lead it down the page to those wonderful last two lines.

However. (and you just knew there was going to be a however)
The question in the second line; does it need to be a question?
you could make the assumption that Beehtoven's famous deafness is well known,
and "He's like someone
listening to the cries
of a distant swimmer"

"Shall I go on?" this breaks the mood and simultaneously makes YOU
the writer, sound like the cranky one. =)
the penultimate stanza: how about "we are like misanthropes
striding past an ophanage,
generosity held tight,
a purse in a foreign neighborhood.
and I LOVE that image.

This is an interesting take on Beethoven, it humanizes him, and after all these
years that can be very hard to do. Nicely done.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1366
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Beethoven's Dark Moods

#7 Post by BobBradshaw » 16 Oct 2019, 06:31

Thanks, Judy...I like the first suggestion.

judyt547
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Location: middle of the woods
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Re: Beethoven's Dark Moods

#8 Post by judyt547 » 18 Oct 2019, 05:03

=)

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