Trees of Winter
Trees of Winter
Trees of Winter
A gang or a single tree holed up like
thieves in the cold. Dark silhouettes
against a grey sky. Aliases for their
summer names unspoken until the
thaw. No shirts on their backs. No
green the color of money. The long
retreat into ice that cracks limbs.
The wisdom of outlaws on the run
from the sunless law of survival.
The scarred and broken stand tall.
Nights when sap flows in dreams,
starts a timeless itch in every twig.
A gang or a single tree holed up like
thieves in the cold. Dark silhouettes
against a grey sky. Aliases for their
summer names unspoken until the
thaw. No shirts on their backs. No
green the color of money. The long
retreat into ice that cracks limbs.
The wisdom of outlaws on the run
from the sunless law of survival.
The scarred and broken stand tall.
Nights when sap flows in dreams,
starts a timeless itch in every twig.
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Re: Trees of Winter
I have really enjoyed this one, Billy. Love the imaginative imagery. Terrific work
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- Posts: 1168
- Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30
Re: Trees of Winter
I like the title as much as the poem.
Re: Trees of Winter
Thanks for nomination, Bob, but I’m not participating at this time.
Re: Trees of Winter
Billy, I like the images in this, but the first line reads awkwardly to me--"A mob or a single tree"
seems a confusing way to put it, and Im not sure what you're saying, there. "or' seems the wrong word--
Just a suggestion, if you're talking about several trees, something like "A mob of single trees"
gives a better visual, and as a first line you need to really grab someone with it. I love the next line
about "holed up like thieves in the cold"--That might even make a better beginning, and then bring
in the trees...
It's a solid poem, I think it just needs a tweak at the beginning.
seems a confusing way to put it, and Im not sure what you're saying, there. "or' seems the wrong word--
Just a suggestion, if you're talking about several trees, something like "A mob of single trees"
gives a better visual, and as a first line you need to really grab someone with it. I love the next line
about "holed up like thieves in the cold"--That might even make a better beginning, and then bring
in the trees...
It's a solid poem, I think it just needs a tweak at the beginning.
Re: Trees of Winter
Thanks judy, does the change help or not. In keeping with the metaphor of sorts, it's either a gang or a single tree holed up. That seems pretty clear to me.
Re: Trees of Winter
Instead of "holed up" which to me reads like something "holed up" in a burrow,
how about "bunched up" or "huddled together". Anything to imply that thing we
do when we're cold...
It's the word "holed" that threw me. Ah, Iove this language, lol
how about "bunched up" or "huddled together". Anything to imply that thing we
do when we're cold...
It's the word "holed" that threw me. Ah, Iove this language, lol
Re: Trees of Winter
Holed up is perfect to me. It is in line with the idea of a gang or criminal holed up somewhere from the law, plus a tree is in kind of a hole, it’s roots in the ground.