psalm: "swift of foot"

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Michael (MV)
Posts: 1547
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

psalm: "swift of foot"

#1 Post by Michael (MV) » 15 Aug 2013, 09:49

I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you..
[You're] never [far] away from the sound of the woman that loves you
    -- lyric from "Silver Springs" by S. Nicks / FM



Son


To live it up, it's not DOA
it's AOA - alive on arrival

Our Father
makes no mistakes
only miracles to fulfill
His promise of no departing


My Joy
continues to rhyme
with My Boy


on earth as it is beyond home-free
frolicking in the folds of the Shepherd

time can't cast a spell on us
from maternity to Eternity

untouchable as the angel
never falling
yet forever touching down to keep contact


with you
always

Mama


 
 
 
 
 

FrankDyer
Posts: 227
Joined: 17 May 2011, 06:28

Re: "swift of foot"

#2 Post by FrankDyer » 17 Aug 2013, 22:39

Son
To live it up, it's not DOA
it's AOA - alive on arrival

Our Father makes no mistakes
My joy rhymes with my boy

on earth as it is beyond
home-free in The Humane Society

untouchable as the angel
yet forever touching down to keep contact

with you always
Mama

A pot card poem from heaven, in particular from a mother to a son. I sit personal to the author, we don't know, we cannot assume, we would be afraid of that, we would not wish to intrude. Yet, the poem speaks of faith, again is it personal faith, we don't know, we could assume so. The author is either mimicking the western religious culture or he is genuinely reflecting faith, again we don't know it could be a generic attempt to reflect the fate of the dead.

The first stanza reflect Christian thought we don't arrive in heaven or anywhere else dead, we arrive alive, He avoids the touchy subject of a place of suffering, preferring to concentrate on a place of joy, it rhymes with boy. The next stanza the author speaks about Father, and we assume that he is speaking of God and he capitalises the Father, making sure we know he is speaking about God and now suddenly it makes it personal to the author, or is it? Its not too deep a poem but stands forth in its clarity. Of course it could just be another wishful thinking greeting card of death.

For myself I treat it as a serious attempt to reflect something very deep happening in the heart of the poet, something he has to rationalise. I hope he arrives there with a clear mind.

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Billy
Posts: 905
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

Re: psalm: "swift of foot"

#3 Post by Billy » 29 Aug 2013, 02:14

I get the feeling this is a tribute to your mother who has passed. If not, it is a good fiction of such a poem. It may need a little more of something to grab me. Don't know what, but you have done it before in other poems I've enjoyed.

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1547
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

workshop questions re psalm: "swift of foot"

#4 Post by Michael (MV) » 01 Sep 2013, 07:13

Thanks, Siva. I 've accepted in the September IBPC thread @ Palaver.

Workshop questions for anyone, please:

1/ What about the epigraph / superscript quote?

Maybe this letter poem doesn't need it?


2/ I've added another 2-line stanza:

time can't cast a spell on us
from maternity to Eternity

^^ evolves the poem; or, overwrites



Thanks,

Michael (MV)

 

 
 

 

 
 
 

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 971
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: psalm: "swift of foot"

#5 Post by SivaRamanathan » 02 Sep 2013, 06:16

Michael

Your superscript is a novel introduction to this letter poem.The two lines you have added blend well and is a fitting conclusive stanza.

Siva

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1547
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: psalm: "swift of foot"

#6 Post by Michael (MV) » 08 Sep 2019, 21:06

On this Sunday - Grandparent's Day -

I'm raising this (auto)thanatographical poem in honor of my parents - Vincent & Virginia, great & grand parents.

And, too, in regard to the term "autothanatographical"

^^ viewtopic.php?f=2&t=7611#p35865


8)

Michael (MV)

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