Abandoned School Bus Blues

Poets post their works-in-progress here for crit and commentary. We want poets who are serious about getting their work published.
Post Reply
Message
Author
BobBradshaw
Posts: 842
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Abandoned School Bus Blues

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 17 May 2018, 23:15

Abandoned School Bus Blues


Slumped in the overgrown weeds
is a bus where folks
once gathered
to shake the dust and heartaches out
from a week of working mines.

The band played in the rear,
the seats removed along with thoughts
of overdue mortgages.

The bus shook and rocked--hearts rising
and falling like pitching seas.

Today the bus broods like an old woman
on a sagging porch.
The trees stand around like her grown children,
on a corner, waiting to be picked up
for a job, any job, and knowing
there aren’t any.

Once there was the driving rhythm
of bass and Dobro.
Now there's an old man,
sitting alone on the bus' steps, lost
in thoughts of first love
and Nancy Lee,

his heart like feet stomping,
hands clapping
to a Saturday night's
strong beat.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 686
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Abandoned School Bus Blues

#2 Post by Kenneth2816 » 18 May 2018, 00:58

Yes. This is a great poem. Not one thing would I change. I love it and want to nom it... I just learned recently what a dobro was because my son plays in s blur grass band and they are doing a show with a guy named Jerry Douglas who is allegedly the best dobro in the country

This poem is a study of the Southern Appalachian coal country which is also the birthplace of blue grass
It's really great REALLY

BobBradshaw
Posts: 842
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Abandoned School Bus Blues

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 18 May 2018, 07:22

Thanks, Kenneth...I would appreciate the nom....thank you. I'm happy to hear you have a son who plays in a bluegrass band. Isn't bluegrass great? Bob

Bernie01
Posts: 780
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Abandoned School Bus Blues

#4 Post by Bernie01 » 18 May 2018, 08:44

Bob---


the image of an old school bus, so powerful as a metaphor for so much that has come before, so much that now lies wounded and disabled.



love the image of the old woman.


i join Ken and offer a second IBPC nom for this far reaching poem.



bernie

Kenneth2816
Posts: 686
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Abandoned School Bus Blues

#5 Post by Kenneth2816 » 18 May 2018, 09:40

Bob I like some bluegrass. I didn't know you were a fan. The band I speak of is Steep Canyon Rangers. They tour
sometimes with Steve Martin.Bernie has seen them. Check you tube if interested.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 842
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Abandoned School Bus Blues

#6 Post by BobBradshaw » 18 May 2018, 10:01

Bernie, thank you
Kenneth, I rarely hear bluegrass but when I do I enjoy it immensely

Post Reply

Return to “Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang”