Puffins

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 889
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Puffins

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 12 Jun 2018, 22:27

Puffins


Who but a birder
could love
a bird short and stocky
with an absurdly
large, orange
snozz?

Yet there’s something
familiar about puffins
as their beaks brighten
during spring and summer,

letting the girls know
who the eligible bachelors are.

Once paired up
puffins often mate for life,
building burrows that boast
a separate lavatory
from the nursery,

cleanliness the family
motto.

They're not only
practical partners
--but good lovers
even if their goofy looks
tell us that couldn't
be true...

yet as winter approaches
we recall their red tipped beaks
and yellow feet
as fondly as our youth--

their colors fading
like an old romance

Bernie01
Posts: 780
Joined: 30 Jul 2015, 11:14

Re: Puffins

#2 Post by Bernie01 » 13 Jun 2018, 04:42

Bob:


sweet, adult and replete with warmth.


i like the tenderness that the poem uses to tell the story. the details, the contrasts and insights.


bernie

BobBradshaw
Posts: 889
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Puffins

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 13 Jun 2018, 06:43

Thank you, Bernie...

Kenneth2816
Posts: 732
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Puffins

#4 Post by Kenneth2816 » 13 Jun 2018, 20:00

Bob. When you are famous, scholars will call this your aviarian stage ✌

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1263
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Puffins

#5 Post by FranktheFrank » 13 Jun 2018, 20:38

Anyone can see you are a bird lover Bob.
The details are very good.
As a boy I adored their funny ways.
Large colonies on the Welsh coast
under threat from rats, and seagulls
who take the food from their mouths.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 889
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Puffins

#6 Post by BobBradshaw » 14 Jun 2018, 06:07

Kenneth, lol...

Frank, thanks...I think we both like birds a lot

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1263
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Puffins

#7 Post by FranktheFrank » 14 Jun 2018, 10:19

The other Brad I knew years ago
shared a forum with Bernie
wrote a marvellous poem about
the ratchet of the corncrake.
Really captured my imagination.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 889
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Puffins

#8 Post by BobBradshaw » 15 Jun 2018, 09:02

Thanks, Frank....I'll look up this bird

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1263
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Puffins

#9 Post by FranktheFrank » 29 Jun 2018, 13:51

Puffins

Who but a birder [bird lover]
could love [would go]
[for] a bird short and stocky
with an absurdly
large, orange
snozz?

Yet there’s something
familiar about puffins
as [when] their beaks brighten
during [in] spring and summer,

letting the girls know
who the eligible bachelors are.

Once paired up
puffins often mate for life,
building burrows that boast
a separate lavatory
from the nursery,

cleanliness the family
motto.
They're not only
practical partners
--but good lovers
even if their goofy looks
tell us that couldn't
be true...

yet as winter approaches
we recall [dwell on] their red tipped beaks
and yellow feet
as fondly as our youth--

their colors fading [fade?]
like an old romance


Bob hope you don't mind the shrike-out's,
and the suggestions in parentheses.

Just a few suggested edits.

I will nominate this with your permission,
you may prefer another poem to go foreword.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 889
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Puffins

#10 Post by BobBradshaw » 30 Jun 2018, 00:05

Thanks, Frank. I would like your nomination very much. Best, Bob

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