Right After My Marriage

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SivaRamanathan
Posts: 895
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Right After My Marriage

#1 Post by SivaRamanathan » 31 Jul 2018, 22:37

I looked for eggs while cleaning mutton
made tea with mustard seeds
cooked the pods and threw away the beans
drained the soup and kept the residue
enquired if his cousin was the plumber come to fix
requested gold covering salesmen to be seated
thinking they might be his relatives
sipped salted water not knowing it was a prank
jumped with a start whenever the cooker whistled
carried alms and rice whenever my newly married husband
called me, 'amma'thinking it was a beggar,
welcomed the washer woman with folded hands
because she did not wear a blouse
(the women of his village were half a century backward)
went to the ,'bridge' when my sister-in-law asked for flowers
from the fridge, and repeated all my first lines silently
when they laughed at me.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1290
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Right After My Marriage

#2 Post by FranktheFrank » 03 Aug 2018, 01:53

Very good, the trials of a young bride
in a new culture, new family, new husband.
I think punctuation would help, else use line breaks
when you want us to pause.

You don't need the Kerala line, we get it.
or the explanation in parenthesis.

Original.

IndianaDP
Posts: 152
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: Right After My Marriage

#3 Post by IndianaDP » 03 Aug 2018, 19:12

Nicely detailed narrative.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 895
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Right After My Marriage

#4 Post by SivaRamanathan » 03 Aug 2018, 19:35

Thanks Frank and IndianaOP

Frank

new husband? Is that really right? There can only be one husband so how come?

S

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1290
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Right After My Marriage

#5 Post by FranktheFrank » 03 Aug 2018, 21:04

English isn’t,t alaway logical or even sensible Siva,
Your logic is correct, to my mind the phrase ne W husband stands for
Newly married husband,
But I stand to be corrected.

Excuse the typos I am using my wife,s ipadan day finger are too big

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 895
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Right After My Marriage

#6 Post by SivaRamanathan » 03 Aug 2018, 21:43

Frank

I was just trying to pull your legs. I learnt this from my father.

S

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