Progress Report From Molly

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Kenneth2816
Posts: 752
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Progress Report From Molly

#1 Post by Kenneth2816 » 05 Aug 2018, 00:09

The moons of the damned
are star-white and chalky;
orbs of Mannitol and morphine.


I negotiate with my body
as if it belongs to someone else.

Its unfamiliar gait nets back
a thirty minute soak
and a shot of Dewar's
for five minutes of treadmill
when i get back home.

The heat and Scotch give me elephant
-head and I come to: a good inch
of water already covering the floor.

I see my physical therapist mostly
because her hands are like God's;

they maketh sore, but also bindeth.
They striketh, but maketh whole,

and the eclipse of breast
in that glorious moment
she leans.

IndianaDP
Posts: 152
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: Progress Report From Molly

#2 Post by IndianaDP » 06 Aug 2018, 02:29

Interesting story, the aging body dealing with therapy and medication. Thank God for that eclipse of breast and the Dewar’s. I wonder if the moons of S1 and the eclipse of the final S are one and the same. Never heard the term elephant-head.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 915
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Progress Report From Molly

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 06 Aug 2018, 06:50

I agree with Dale... I like the risk taking in this... it swerves off in unexpected directions...I need to read it more to get a better feel... I am not sure what the water reference is to

Kenneth2816
Posts: 752
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Progress Report From Molly

#4 Post by Kenneth2816 » 06 Aug 2018, 16:50

Dale and Bob. Thank you.

Bob the poor bastard passed out with yhe water running and the tub over flowed

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 890
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Progress Report From Molly

#5 Post by SivaRamanathan » 06 Aug 2018, 18:43

I have been reading this, and the comments.

S

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 890
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Progress Report From Molly

#6 Post by SivaRamanathan » 06 Aug 2018, 18:48

I have been reading this, and the comments.

S

Kenneth2816
Posts: 752
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Progress Report From Molly

#7 Post by Kenneth2816 » 06 Aug 2018, 19:41

Thank you Siva

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1396
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: Progress Report From Molly

#8 Post by Michael (MV) » 07 Aug 2018, 02:06

 
Hi Kenneth,


serendipitous - earlier this day I workshopped Dale's "After Dinner"; now, too, your geriatric gem

poem + gem neologizes to pogem -


is Molly the PT?


workshopping the opening as:

The moons of the damned
are star-white chalky orbs -
Mannitol and morphine.



esp like the 2nd stanza


line break in lieu of hyphen:

The heat and Scotch give me elephant
head and I come to: a good inch
of water already covering the floor.


workshopping this passage as:

I see my physical therapist mostly
because her hands are God-like:

they maketh sore, but also bindeth.
They striketh, but maketh whole,



Love the humor of the finale - I hear a play on veteran singer-songwriter Paul Simon:

"still crazy after all these years"

^^ still carnal after all these years

8)

Michael (MV)

 

 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 890
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Progress Report From Molly

#9 Post by SivaRamanathan » 07 Aug 2018, 17:32

Kenneth

Learning from Michael's workshopping.

S

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 890
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Progress Report From Molly

#10 Post by SivaRamanathan » 07 Aug 2018, 17:32

Kenneth

Learning from Michael's workshopping.

S

Kenneth2816
Posts: 752
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Progress Report From Molly

#11 Post by Kenneth2816 » 09 Aug 2018, 09:01

Michael, good suggestions. I cant do italics on my phone though.

Siva. Michael has been around a long time

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