a first draft after reading Bob's ode to ties

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Michael (MV)
Posts: 1388
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

a first draft after reading Bob's ode to ties

#1 Post by Michael (MV) » 06 Sep 2018, 05:01

 
"Sorcerer of the Moon"

on earth as it is in Heaven   -- The Our Father (of course)


and deliver us from evil
(and notice the socially polite "please" isn't even required
He's already left the fold to save each & every one)
since e v I l   is  l I v e  bent backwards   
and His will is the living will
straightening things out forever
for ties are as sinuous as original sin


I can't recall the last time I'd worn one
was rather skillful in tying the knot

all good things must end
for the righteousness to begin

then it was just like that warm white wind
we all long to belong to
when the Savior appeared to power-lift the latches
off this apprentice-prince of nothing
showing me the Houdini slip from the fabricated

déjà vu like promised manna
my life unknotted
out of the iron maiden
then I too evolved creatively endowed

leaving the ties hanging in the closet along with the belts on the rack
the remains of restraints left behind in the dungeon
dry-rotting like buried mummies

while I
a brother son
re-created for outside
the box not
to tie the knot

I my mother's heart ranging
not with rings around the collar

I my mother's heart will follow
running free of cycles

with anima in UniSon

on a sunny-moon
Ruth's son-songs
murmuring outside her body
we continue on from earth untied

and to Thy kingdom AoA
Alive on Arrival

 
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
  
 
 
 

BobBradshaw
Posts: 904
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: a first draft after reading Bob's ode to ties

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 06 Sep 2018, 06:55

I like this, especially these lines:

I can't recall the last time I worn one
was rather skillful in tying the knot

then the Savior illuminated this apprentice-prince
with the Houdini slip
my life unknotted
then I became also creatively endowed

Michael (MV)
Posts: 1388
Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57

Re: a first draft after reading Bob's ode to ties

#3 Post by Michael (MV) » 06 Sep 2018, 10:45

 
Thanks Bob,

for your read & comment

I have actually edited since your visit

hopefully evolved the original draft in the right direction


8)

Michael (MV)

BobBradshaw wrote:
06 Sep 2018, 06:55
I like this, especially these lines:

I can't recall the last time I worn one
was rather skillful in tying the knot

then the Savior illuminated this apprentice-prince
with the Houdini slip
my life unknotted
then I became also creatively endowed
 

 
 
 
 
 

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1282
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: a first draft after reading Bob's ode to ties

#4 Post by FranktheFrank » 06 Sep 2018, 11:18

Very deep poem Michael.
I can't recall the last time I worn one
was rather skillful in tying the knot
Skillful for American and skilful for British spelling.

and: the last time I wore a tie
or
the last time I'd worn a tie.

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