Tying Flowers

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meenas17
Posts: 467
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Tying Flowers

#1 Post by meenas17 » 11 Sep 2018, 20:23

a craft by itself.

My mother taught me
when I was six years old.
She started with leaves
not flowers initially.

Flowers are delicate
while leaves express strength
being easy to handle
and strand together.

She chose leaves with tenacity
both long and broad
folded them into two
trains me to knot.

Three leaves upward
three inverted
she runs the string
then locks with a knot.

Looks straightforward.
I fold the leaves
tighten the thread
around them.

lonce, twice and thrice.
I go. Falter miserably.
crush the leaves.
Mom loses her equanimity,

Makes me do it again.
Clumsier I perform,
Struggle, my trepidation
angers mother.

She grips my fingers
helps to tie. She does
many times until
I accomplish.

Am  a pro.
Make beautiful
garlands of Rose,
Jasmine and Marigold.
meenas17

capricorn
Posts: 117
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Tying Flowers

#2 Post by capricorn » 02 Oct 2018, 01:52

Hi Meena,

What a fascinating poem. I wish you could teach me how to tie flowers.

This needs a little tightening up, eg

st1 My mother taught me
when I was six years old.
She started with leaves
not flowers initially.


initially and started mean the same so perhaps start something like


My mother taught me
initially with leaves
not flowers.


Your age might be irrelevant?

Perhaps try to involve the reader more.

Eira

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