Penguins

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 843
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Penguins

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 11 Sep 2018, 20:34

x

BobBradshaw
Posts: 843
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Penguins

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 11 Sep 2018, 20:35

v2:

Penguins



For years they trooped to the ice's edge
and stood and looked out to sea.

Elderly and sluggish they plopped
in the water for a brief dip
and climbed back out immediately.

There hadn't been the whistling
of hungry chicks from burrows in years,

but last month young penguins,
loaned to us by the Cleveland Zoo,
swooped down these slopes,
cheerfully squeaking as if school
had been let out for summer.

They slipped, slid, belly flopped
into our little sea, circling
Penguin Island in a furious race.
For weeks they swam laps
as our senior penguins lodged
complaints about the kids' noise
to anyone who would listen.

Even the most sedentary
of our penguins has started to swim again:
sea lions on a neighboring isle
wake up when the old ladies dive in,
barking as if to cheer them on.

Our staff, too, has changed their habits,
no longer lethargically
strewing fish on the ice, but wading
among the young and old
mimicking their squawks
as they hand out the day's catch,

wobbling back to our kitchen in good humor,
hungry to share the day's news.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 686
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: Penguins

#3 Post by Kenneth2816 » 12 Sep 2018, 13:15

This is a good poem. I like the comparison to school children.

A feel good poem, delightfully executed

BobBradshaw
Posts: 843
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Penguins

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 12 Sep 2018, 20:11

Thanks, Ken...for your warm response

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1249
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Penguins

#5 Post by FranktheFrank » 14 Sep 2018, 21:42

Love it,
Our staff have,
I know it's a collective noun, still prefer 'have'.

You could nip the odd word here and there.
Even the most sedentary
of our penguins has started to swim again:

Sedentary penguins start to swim again. [more bite in shorter lines]

Could you introduce the poem as a newspaper clipping
but last month young penguins,
loaned to us by the Cleveland Zoo,
swooped down these slopes,
cheerfully squeaking as if school
had been let out for summer.


Cut the above and say:
Daily Herald Tuesday 5 th . . .
Cleveland Zoo loans a nest of penguins to . . .

BobBradshaw
Posts: 843
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Penguins

#6 Post by BobBradshaw » 14 Sep 2018, 23:29

Thx, Frank...let me think about the sedentary line....

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