You Kissed Me

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 1529
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

You Kissed Me

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 12 May 2020, 23:22

Say I’m weary, say I’m sad,
Say that health and wealth have miss’d me,
Say I’m growing old, but add,
Jenny kiss’d me.

— from Jenny Kiss’d Me by Leigh Hunt

v2:
You Kissed Me

We were worlds apart till you kissed me.
I waxed tipsy in your arms. You kissed me.

Every fiber in my body looked up,
longing for your approval. You kissed me.

Gently you pulled me into your orbit,
tugging at my heart--my sleeve. You kissed me.

How did you find me, solitary, lost
as I made my nightly rounds? You kissed me.

How did you come to love my plain face,
pockmarked and pale as chalk? You kissed me.

How can I explain love's attraction? Love's hold?
Is the answer so...so simple? You kissed me.

Even now I reflect your love as if it were light.
Everyone can see that. Why? You kissed me.

V1:
Say I’m weary, say I’m sad,
Say that health and wealth have miss’d me,
Say I’m growing old, but add,
Jenny kiss’d me.

— from Jenny Kiss’d Me by Leigh Hunt


You Kissed Me

You turned me into water. You kissed me.
I swayed, awash in your arms. You kissed me.

Every fiber in my body looked up,
longing for your approval. You kissed me.

Gently you pulled me into your orbit,
tugging at my heart--my sleeve. You kissed me.

How did you find me, solitary, lost
as I made my nightly rounds? You kissed me.

How did you come to love my plain face,
pockmarked and pale as chalk? You kissed me.

How can I explain love's attraction? Love's hold?
Is the answer so...so simple? You kissed me.

Even now I reflect your love as if it were light.
Everyone can see that. Why? You kissed me.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1129
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: You Kissed Me

#2 Post by SivaRamanathan » 13 May 2020, 22:01

I suppose this is a Ghazal.It reads well, Bob. So...so...Simple.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1529
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: You Kissed Me

#3 Post by BobBradshaw » 20 May 2020, 06:17

Revised opening stanza

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1529
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: You Kissed Me

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 21 May 2020, 20:43

tweaked again

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1129
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: You Kissed Me

#5 Post by SivaRamanathan » 22 May 2020, 09:12

This reads well now, because of the word arrangement in the line.

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