I Walked into Marriage

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SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1169
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

I Walked into Marriage

#1 Post by SivaRamanathan » 26 Jun 2020, 22:24

I walked into marriage because you
told me they are simple good folks.

I assumed they were also simpletons
but I kept my feelings a secret.

All those snide remarks repeatedly
you did M.A. don't know to match your blouse?

'Flowers from the bridge' they said
and I thought of the Cauvery at
Palipalayam and not the refrigerator.
You told me stories of Datchayani
I was not meant to overstay in my mother's house.

I don't like zarisari, no expensive jewellery,
no leather either, nor parties
aren't you lucky to have had me for wife ?

All I ask for is a Charles Bukowski
a Dunhill pen, or a German pencil.

And all those country cousins who knew well
stories of Datchayani have returned
to plunder their mother's house.
and refused any allegiance with their in-laws.

Affection through dissociation, Dad,
in your death bed I saw those underlined words.

How proudly I stood my ground
and not once did I come back to you
not even in my relapse of typhoid.

Now I am an example of the self sufficient.
I think you taught me contentment
And not to take a judgemental stand.

So I let my husband’s entire income
flow into his family
and kept for myself a small provident fund.

Consciously I walk still smiling
in a marriage I walked into unaware.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1563
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: I Walked into Marriage

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 29 Jun 2020, 08:07

I like the theme. This feels like a rough draft. I am baffled by S3 and what it’s trying to say. What does an M.A. have to do with a blouse? And the “don’t know” seems like the start of a new sentence?

I don’t know what the bridge of flowers represents...a cultural reference? If so, maybe a footnote would help.

I won’t go on, other than to suggest spicing the language up. You’ve written so well for quite awhile. I am putting this down as an anomaly.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1169
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: I Walked into Marriage

#3 Post by SivaRamanathan » 29 Jun 2020, 10:17

Bob

I fished it out from a 2005 draft.I know what you mean. I will work on it.

Siva

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1563
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: I Walked into Marriage

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 29 Jun 2020, 22:21

The theme is a bit unusual, at least here in the States. It's worth salvaging.

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1169
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: I Walked into Marriage

#5 Post by SivaRamanathan » 30 Jun 2020, 09:21

Bob

Okay, I will keep it. What is Michael forwarding this month from The Block?

Siva

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