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by Kenneth2816
29 Nov 2020, 18:55
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Body In The River
Replies: 1
Views: 82

Body In The River

We all wear fluorescent green vests, position ourselves 8 feet abreast. The undergrowth is knee high and we swing sticks as we walk, calling his name. The search leader has a walkie-talkie. She calls no smoking.It is quiet. It's three days since the boy's been gone, thirteen, good looking. This morn...
by Kenneth2816
26 Nov 2020, 07:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: All Lives Matter
Replies: 2
Views: 193

Re: All Lives Matter

I hope this id about Trump losing. It's exactly how I feel 😎
by Kenneth2816
25 Nov 2020, 08:14
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Moving Heaven
Replies: 3
Views: 211

Re: Moving Heaven

Thanks guys
by Kenneth2816
23 Nov 2020, 11:28
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Poems that placed in the October IBPC 2020
Replies: 1
Views: 127

Re: Poems that placed in the October IBPC 2020

Congrats to Mary McGowan. Great poem
by Kenneth2816
22 Nov 2020, 18:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Plays for Mozart
Replies: 9
Views: 753

Re: Beethoven Plays for Mozart

None. I meant V2 was less telling than the original
by Kenneth2816
22 Nov 2020, 18:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Moving Heaven
Replies: 3
Views: 211

Moving Heaven

In Tien Pho, I became God as if a slow fat worm entered my bloodstream, shedding its white offspring until I was infested with righteousness, quick like a pupil dilates. Then the Cong came in after the 82nd inoculated, chopped the arms off children, piled them ilke cord wood, inculcated the locals w...
by Kenneth2816
20 Nov 2020, 14:29
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Plays for Mozart
Replies: 9
Views: 753

Re: Beethoven Plays for Mozart

I like this better. Despite it being longer, it's far less telling
by Kenneth2816
19 Nov 2020, 07:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Plays for Mozart
Replies: 9
Views: 753

Re: Beethoven Plays for Mozart

I would think of concision. Many lines have the informality of being "telling". Too, the fart reference might be better placed in another poem. These two men have had so much written about the. This is the first poem Ive read about them together. Perhaps show through the eyes of those in attendance.
by Kenneth2816
19 Nov 2020, 00:20
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Plays for Mozart
Replies: 9
Views: 753

Re: Beethoven Plays for Mozart

Fiddle with this more. It's a good premise, but it's too dependent on the last verse.

This was a pivotal moment in history. Beethoven's father used to wake him in the middle of the night to practice because he wanted Ludwig to be another Mozart
by Kenneth2816
16 Nov 2020, 07:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: While I Was Burning
Replies: 4
Views: 699

Re: While I Was Burning

Thanks meenas
by Kenneth2816
15 Nov 2020, 17:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: While I Was Burning
Replies: 4
Views: 699

Re: While I Was Burning

Thanks Bob.
by Kenneth2816
14 Nov 2020, 16:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Theresia Constanzia Adelheid Friedericke Maria Anna Mozart
Replies: 2
Views: 586

Re: Theresia Constanzia Adelheid Friedericke Maria Anna Mozart

Delightfully somber. I recall her from the movie about his life. She deserves this Bob
Nicely done
by Kenneth2816
13 Nov 2020, 16:51
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: While I Was Burning
Replies: 4
Views: 699

While I Was Burning

Shush up now, Marla Reardon,
We are found in a strange land.

Its architecture is alien and
they speak in an unknown tongue.

I told you I'd love you as best
I can and that's all there is to it.

There is no better bargain to be had
for a few dollars more.
by Kenneth2816
13 Nov 2020, 16:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Long Hair Named Desire
Replies: 6
Views: 892

Re: Long Hair Named Desire

What Billy said. This is a pleasant poem. Feminine and calming
by Kenneth2816
09 Nov 2020, 21:14
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming November IBPC 2020:
Replies: 14
Views: 1710

Re: Upcoming November IBPC 2020:

Beggar's Lice First, the lush green tendrils make a basil rosette. Beneath the wither of summer she brittles, dispersing her little ones, the stickseed, onto the down of a doe's coat or between the ribs of passing corduroy, to be reborn as a mother on the forest floor. Original unpublished work, not...
by Kenneth2816
09 Nov 2020, 04:26
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming November IBPC 2020:
Replies: 14
Views: 1710

Re: Upcoming November IBPC 2020:

I accept for Beggars Lice

Thank you
by Kenneth2816
24 Oct 2020, 08:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Apprehensive
Replies: 2
Views: 1046

Re: Apprehensive

Good work showing emotion. Last stanza with stare/angry/dark/meekly sums up the poem nicely
by Kenneth2816
24 Oct 2020, 08:21
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: To My Old Age
Replies: 9
Views: 1674

Re: Addressing My Old Age

Splendid poem Bob.
by Kenneth2816
24 Oct 2020, 08:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beggar's Lice
Replies: 5
Views: 1676

Re: Beggar's Lice

Thank you
by Kenneth2816
19 Oct 2020, 18:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Return of the fox revised
Replies: 10
Views: 2241

Re: Return of the fox

Ike personification of the fox. Reads to me as if N wishes to be the fox, escape for a bit. Nice feel, Billy.
by Kenneth2816
19 Oct 2020, 16:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beggar's Lice
Replies: 5
Views: 1676

Beggar's Lice

.First, the lush green

tendrils make

a basil rosette.

Beneath the wither

of summer

she brittles,

dispersing her little

ones, the stickseed,

onto the down

of a doe's coat

or between the

ribs of passing

corduroy,

to be reborn

as a mother on

the forest floor.
by Kenneth2816
18 Oct 2020, 16:31
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sunflowers
Replies: 11
Views: 2555

Re: Sunflowers

meenas17 wrote:
17 Oct 2020, 20:54
Love the yellow in the poem,
Might be they are found three times as ken puts it, I like them for that sake.
Perceptions differ, know Ken.
Back to see you all again in this forum,
Indeed. Lovely to see you here as well.
by Kenneth2816
16 Oct 2020, 07:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sunflowers
Replies: 11
Views: 2555

Re: Sunflowers

Much to like. The last stanza a bit of surprise.
First thing I notice is the word yellow or yellowing three times. Bit much.

I love the references to the mother. They are genuine, and remind me of my own southern mom.

I don't find much contrived here. My issue is overuse of a few words/terms
by Kenneth2816
14 Oct 2020, 06:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Mother and Child in a Hospital Ward
Replies: 7
Views: 1554

Re: Mother and Child in a Hospital Ward

Good minimalism and excellent " show don't tell".

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