Search found 517 matches

by Billy
28 May 2019, 05:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: haiku
Replies: 6
Views: 1211

Re: haiku

Thanks Meenas
by Billy
25 May 2019, 01:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: haiku
Replies: 6
Views: 1211

Re: haiku

Thanks everyone, thanks Michael for the compliment of riffing off of my haiku.
by Billy
21 May 2019, 23:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: haiku
Replies: 6
Views: 1211

Re: haiku

Thanks, Eira
by Billy
21 May 2019, 01:14
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: haiku
Replies: 6
Views: 1211

haiku

butterflies flit flower to flower kiss after kiss _______ i was young once it seemed an eternity one long kiss _______ as i remember kissing the mouths of lilies _______ leaf in the wind she boards the plane blowing a kiss _______ a kiss in the rain rainbow _______ snow falling i kiss a cheek zip hi...
by Billy
19 May 2019, 20:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: haiku
Replies: 7
Views: 956

Re: haiku

Thanks, actually the first one is not right, so I changed it. I meant to say his thurible or censer, they sound alike.
by Billy
18 May 2019, 20:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: haiku
Replies: 7
Views: 956

haiku

beekeeper
swings his thurible
temple in a field

————————

mother
i hear your laughter
above the clouds
by Billy
30 Mar 2019, 19:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Prisoner
Replies: 3
Views: 1428

Re: The Prisoner

Actually, not much imagination at all. These are facts that I put into a narrative that, as you said, needs more surrealist touch. I just got it out now I will try to make it a poem. Thanks for reading and commenting. Now is when imagination will be needed.
by Billy
29 Mar 2019, 23:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Prisoner
Replies: 3
Views: 1428

The Prisoner

The Prisoner They walk hundreds of miles to catch a glimpse of the prisoner behind the barred window. His small cell: a wooden platform for a bed, walls scarred and pock-marked. A devoted band of family and believers incarcerated along with their beloved die daily from lack of food and disease in t...
by Billy
19 Mar 2019, 18:20
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Broken
Replies: 3
Views: 1209

Re: Broken

Made some revisions on my phone and somehow lost the original, sorry.
by Billy
18 Mar 2019, 22:21
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Broken
Replies: 3
Views: 1209

Re: Broken

Thanks Bob for the generous crit. I think u r pretty much dead on. I figured I’d be revising, Except for separating into stanzas afterwards, this was written as is last night right into the text box.
I’ll be revising but i’ll wait until others make suggestions.
by Billy
18 Mar 2019, 17:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: 4 photojournalism (3-17-2019)
Replies: 2
Views: 1058

Re: 4 photojournalism (3-17-2019)

I really like that second one.
by Billy
18 Mar 2019, 17:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Christmas Cactus
Replies: 4
Views: 1559

Re: Christmas Cactus

very good poem with a nicely understated message.
by Billy
18 Mar 2019, 06:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Broken
Replies: 3
Views: 1209

Broken

Broken Late nights, he's only eleven going on thirty. The moon AWOL  when you're inside four walls.  A sunken lounge, sing-along  and dancing. All the old songs  still stored away in his head.  He won at limbo. They were old, drunk. They all hugged him,  said he was such a smart boy.  Don't mind us...
by Billy
16 Mar 2019, 03:51
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Shed
Replies: 3
Views: 1304

Re: Shed

Thanks Kenneth, Bob
by Billy
15 Mar 2019, 07:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Salmon Run - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 2205

Re: Salmon Run

I love all the descriptions and the end, but I'm just not sold on this line: "but with girls at the run's' end". I don't know maybe others like it and I'm just off.
by Billy
15 Mar 2019, 07:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Butterfly Effect Letter
Replies: 8
Views: 2203

Re: Butterfly Effect Letter

The second stanza can be interpreted two ways, maybe, or I'm just reading it wrong, but lost in a deluge could mean they were having fantastic sex or it could be the N's ill will imaging them drowning. Otherwise I like the poem a lot. I like the Painting Lady image and the knives.
by Billy
15 Mar 2019, 07:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: History By A Lesser Known
Replies: 10
Views: 2270

Re: History By A Lesser Known

I like Frank's suggestion to cut Churchill and I think you should cut all direct naming of Gandhi. All the information in the poem tells us who it is and leaving out his name will make the poem stand out more.
by Billy
15 Mar 2019, 05:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Whistler's Mother
Replies: 10
Views: 2059

Re: Whistler's Mother

Great poem and I like the little changes MV proposed.
by Billy
14 Mar 2019, 08:54
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Shed
Replies: 3
Views: 1304

Shed

Shed Going in and not coming out. A lost country with no language, no culture. The rules are made up. You got to have rules so everybody can find out who they are. The one window is covered by a black tarp. In the corners, where the cold air barges in, are rat droppings. In the far corner of the ce...
by Billy
05 Mar 2019, 07:02
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: I Only Slept There
Replies: 5
Views: 1887

Re: I Only Slept There

Thanks everyone for reading and commenting.
by Billy
05 Mar 2019, 07:01
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Last Supper (revised)
Replies: 5
Views: 1739

Re: Last Supper

The 1st stanza has the reader thinking it's about martyred Christians, except Christians wouldn't be gorging themselves. So the poem surprises and is a good desciptive poem.
by Billy
05 Mar 2019, 06:58
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Paul Gauguin on Atuona - revised
Replies: 9
Views: 2618

Re: Paul Gauguin on Atuona - revised

I don't remember what the first version was like, but you didn't change much. It was already good and this is great.The telling comes together in a brief poem.
by Billy
02 Mar 2019, 08:56
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming March IBPC 2019:
Replies: 15
Views: 3573

Re: Upcoming March IBPC 2019:

Thanks for nomination, but I'm representing another board.
by Billy
28 Feb 2019, 08:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: I Only Slept There
Replies: 5
Views: 1887

I Only Slept There

I Only Slept There As often as not he'd have a toothpick in his mouth. Mother was always scrubbing something. I lived by myself with them. Mother the Protector. Father the Brooding One. A new home every few years. A new venture. Hopes and promises like the daily news then. The shameful war that cou...
by Billy
28 Feb 2019, 03:23
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Remembering Eddie Haskell
Replies: 3
Views: 1531

Re: Remembering Eddie Haskell

My daughter and I were just talking about Eddie a few days ago and how creepy he was, mostly his overboard niceness to adults, a complete facade, so he could be the character in this poem. BTW, at first read I thought N slashed his father's tires. I quickly realized it was Eddie's tires, but the ant...

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