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by SivaRamanathan
10 Jul 2019, 22:51
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Iron Ore Miner (1859) -V2
Replies: 6
Views: 451

Re: Iron Ore Miner (1859) -V2

It reads well. Good that you gloss those unknown words. I rather like it.Though as Bob says what you want to hit home,is lost in the narration.

S
by SivaRamanathan
08 Jul 2019, 05:12
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: #revolutionarywarstory
Replies: 4
Views: 443

Re: #revolutionarywarstory

Revolutionary poem?
by SivaRamanathan
03 Jul 2019, 16:59
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"
Replies: 25
Views: 2669

Re: "Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"

Thank you, I wrote this seven years ago. I thought I would take it and rework it.Unless I post it here,I am unable to edit.

S
by SivaRamanathan
03 Jul 2019, 07:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"
Replies: 25
Views: 2669

Re: "Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"

Thank you Kenneth for the alert. 'Ageing' proved and established.
by SivaRamanathan
03 Jul 2019, 06:45
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming July IBPC 2019:
Replies: 21
Views: 812

Re: Upcoming July IBPC 2019:

'Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents' is my original poem and I am not representing any other board,or submitting it elsewhere.This has never been published before and my email id is --sivajkamivelliangiri@gmail.com I consent to send it to the IBPC. "Newlyweds Start Life in the ...
by SivaRamanathan
03 Jul 2019, 06:30
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"
Replies: 25
Views: 2669

Re: "Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"

What should I d? Say yes,but where? I seem to have forgotten.

S
by SivaRamanathan
25 Jun 2019, 12:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "getting antique"   (a diptych)
Replies: 20
Views: 1956

Re: "getting antique"

Thanks Billy.I wanted to get a clarification.
S
by SivaRamanathan
24 Jun 2019, 21:17
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"
Replies: 25
Views: 2669

Re: "Newlyweds Start Their Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"

Thank you Frank.I rather like it,especially the copses of trees. I will think about the missing line.
It is
Where they stored the liquid dough,she had no idea.


This girl did not intend to live here.So where is the question of searching for a place to store the liquid dough.
by SivaRamanathan
24 Jun 2019, 14:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "getting antique"   (a diptych)
Replies: 20
Views: 1956

Re: "getting antique"

Frank I read the preview and clicked,but not on the submit icon.So it went into a draft format. I am sorry for wasting your time. It is a simple change of order in the stanzas,that I had read in Michael's poem. What if Unique antiques ageless - in time bulbs will burn out but the charmed aura from t...
by SivaRamanathan
24 Jun 2019, 05:31
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "getting antique"   (a diptych)
Replies: 20
Views: 1956

Re: "getting antique"

Where do drafts get stored ?
by SivaRamanathan
23 Jun 2019, 21:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "getting antique"   (a diptych)
Replies: 20
Views: 1956

Re: "getting antique"

I saved a draft.Now I don't know how to post it.
by SivaRamanathan
21 Jun 2019, 10:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Business As Usual
Replies: 3
Views: 708

Re: Business As Usual

Do you really need racks partitions? Rack partitions,is not the same thing?
Nice ventilation.This'nice' is not a nice word for poetry.Please change the adjective.
I find, The cost exceeds ('the' instead of The.)
It is business you discern,(.)
by SivaRamanathan
19 Jun 2019, 22:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"
Replies: 25
Views: 2669

Re: "Newlyweds Start Their Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"

Frank

I made the change for the 'bathroom', but not 'traditionally'.That is supposed to be understood.
Thank you for thinking of workshop ideas.

S
by SivaRamanathan
19 Jun 2019, 05:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Children Tour Monterey Bay Aquarium
Replies: 7
Views: 1266

Re: Children from a Burn Ward Tour Monterey Bay Aquarium

Loved reading this Bob. I too was able to spot the harbour seals,collective noun.The images are bright and breath-taking.There is enough momentum of surprise.It also passes off as casual,therein lies the beauty.

S
by SivaRamanathan
19 Jun 2019, 05:41
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"
Replies: 25
Views: 2669

Re: Newly Married are Supposed to Start Their Marital Life in the Groom's Parents’ House.

I have worked a little,but it still seems to be long winding and the the last line is not strong enough.

S
by SivaRamanathan
10 Jun 2019, 11:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Big Band Theory
Replies: 7
Views: 826

Re: Big Band Theory

When I look into your eyes,
new worlds collide, we glide
effortlessly across the floor.

Before us, there was nothing
but woodwinds and bassoons.
by SivaRamanathan
10 Jun 2019, 05:52
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"
Replies: 25
Views: 2669

Re: Newly Married are Supposed to Start Their Marital Life in the Boy’s Parents’ House.

Thanks Kenneth and Bob for reading this.It has to be edited. I will edit it, but the incentive to edit comes only when I post it here.
by SivaRamanathan
09 Jun 2019, 14:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: "Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"
Replies: 25
Views: 2669

"Newlyweds Start Life in the House of the Groom's Parents"

Edit 1 The partitioned Madras Terrace house was just right for a family of three. But the bride's family insisted on an attached bathroom and not one of those vacant rooms. So with the son getting married, a store room adjacent to the bedroom.was transformed to a bathroom. The girl's father ruminate...
by SivaRamanathan
08 Jun 2019, 05:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Big Band Theory
Replies: 7
Views: 826

Re: Big Band Theory

I read this but I am afraid I have to wait for a couple of more comments to get the hang of it.
by SivaRamanathan
01 Jun 2019, 19:23
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Grandfather Clock
Replies: 7
Views: 1304

Re: Grandfather Clock

I like the last stanza very much.And also the penultimate stanza.
by SivaRamanathan
19 May 2019, 20:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: haiku
Replies: 7
Views: 1325

Re: haiku

Honestly, I will have to look it up.
by SivaRamanathan
19 May 2019, 12:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: haiku
Replies: 7
Views: 1325

Re: haiku

Billy, I read both poems.Can connect with the. 'temple in a field.'
by SivaRamanathan
17 May 2019, 18:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 1651

Re: untitled senryu

Love this!

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