Search found 106 matches

by judyt547
09 Nov 2019, 22:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Annunciation
Replies: 10
Views: 2179

Re: The Annunciation

MV, exactly. Ken, if you start with that and work down (forgetting all the historical detail) from that; --the first stanza is self-pity. Not good.-- but oh, the last stanza, and for a cap at the bottom those searing two lines about Mozart. And leave off "me" ("a few frail words will survive") It is...
by judyt547
08 Nov 2019, 21:56
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Walt Whitman, 1863
Replies: 7
Views: 391

Re: Walt Whitman, 1863

gettin' there. I love fog and smoke, but the first two lines of that stanza could be elimnated and the last two lines attached to the previous one. Try it. I think you can drill down too hard (you in the general, not the personal sense) on poems like this, the temptation is almost to write them in r...
by judyt547
08 Nov 2019, 01:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Annunciation
Replies: 10
Views: 2179

Re: The Annunciation

Just found this, and I agree with you and everyone else about this--it's a difficult, sad poem, but (and this is important) it's a poem that had to be written. Friend of mine has a theory about such things--he said that poems are like beads on a string, and they all have to be written--good bad and ...
by judyt547
07 Nov 2019, 08:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Walt Whitman, 1863
Replies: 7
Views: 391

Re: Walt Whitman, 1863

This has possibilities. At this point it feels like you're trying to pack too much inormation into too little a space, and too much drama gets lost in the process. I'd be inclined to let one soldier stand for all of them. Make their story into his story, if you see what I mean, let him represent all...
by judyt547
06 Nov 2019, 23:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Tryst
Replies: 6
Views: 685

Re: A Tryst

I can relate to weird dreams, it's like they're shouting at us about something
but we have no idea what "LOOK OUT" means in the dream world. It can also
be extremely hard to translate that kind of surreal experience into language.
by judyt547
06 Nov 2019, 21:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ratio of Critiques to Poems Posted
Replies: 15
Views: 24312

Re: Ratio of Critiques to Poems Posted

I agree, although 'mean something' can be a slippery slope. It may be fraught with meaning to the writer, who is often standing in the middle of it all, but reads as verbiage to a reader. Often just a title can clarify a work. It doesn't have to be a total mystery. =) I was asked, years back (on thi...
by judyt547
06 Nov 2019, 19:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Manifesto
Replies: 13
Views: 638

Re: Manifesto 1st revision

Manifesto honor the dead where they rest at last in wel-dug graves or public pits no priest no blessing only the dark no one wants to believe in only silence where there should be ringing voices, alight and welcome-- the final indignity: not the loss of a life but the loss of a promised afterlife ca...
by judyt547
06 Nov 2019, 18:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Manifesto
Replies: 13
Views: 638

Re: Manifesto

Frank, it's okay. I just didn't want this to turn into a holy war.

Kenneth, thanks for the comments. I agree, it's way too easy to get preachy, and very hard to see it in one's own work.

I shall take this back to my desk and see what I can do.
by judyt547
06 Nov 2019, 16:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Manifesto
Replies: 13
Views: 638

Re: Manifesto

whew. thank you. I know sometimes content overrides form, it can make our eyes water, or our heart slow a bit; in a way it's a painting with words. Some people think Jackson Pollock was a great painter, what he did with color, to them, superceded the technique involved. The rest of us peer at it, an...
by judyt547
06 Nov 2019, 07:15
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Manifesto
Replies: 13
Views: 638

Re: Manifesto

And to be fair I was looking for a crit of the poem, not a crit of the contents, as stated,
or the opinions expressed. That was all. My apologies.
by judyt547
06 Nov 2019, 04:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Manifesto
Replies: 13
Views: 638

Re: Manifesto

my sweet, one of us is right and one of us is wrong. The only way to find out for sure
is when we die, and then one of us will be horribly surprised.
And that in itself, is a topic for another place.
If this offends, should I take the poem down?
by judyt547
06 Nov 2019, 04:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Untitled
Replies: 4
Views: 491

Re: Untitled

nteresting. I never considered that before, but it does sort of leave the whole thing open to interpretation
doesn't it.
by judyt547
06 Nov 2019, 04:01
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: When They Make The Movie of Your Life
Replies: 5
Views: 563

Re: When They Make The Movie of Your Life

Yep. good point. Ours is the full version, complete with surprise endings...=)
by judyt547
05 Nov 2019, 22:29
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Manifesto
Replies: 13
Views: 638

Manifesto

Manifesto unhallowed being the condition of disgrace, of never to be redeemed to look and not see unhallowed in every eye but one bury the dead where they lie in shallow graves or public pits no priest no blessing only the dark no one wants to believe in only silence where there should be ringing vo...
by judyt547
04 Nov 2019, 19:17
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Untitled
Replies: 4
Views: 491

Re: Untitled revision

She learned at last to be content with silence to keep the hand open the eyes steady the heart whole. And when he went away she learned to be content with nothing where something had been; the afternoons were fine, the evenings could be endured; but mornings, when the sky was deep with promise and c...
by judyt547
04 Nov 2019, 18:15
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Untitled
Replies: 4
Views: 491

Untitled

She learned at last to be content with silence to keep the hand open the eyes steady the heart whole. And when he went away she learned to be content with nothing where something had been; the afternoons were fine, the evenings could be endured; but mornings, when the sky was deep with promise and c...
by judyt547
04 Nov 2019, 18:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Arguing With my Brother
Replies: 4
Views: 483

Re: Arguing With my Brother

true, and I love my husband. But that doesn't mean we have to approve
their politics. Nor they ours.
by judyt547
04 Nov 2019, 17:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Arguing With my Brother
Replies: 4
Views: 483

Re: Arguing With my Brother

Lol. Don't get me started on that hot mess in the white house.
My husband would be fine with your brother. Can I send him to you?
by judyt547
04 Nov 2019, 08:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: When They Make The Movie of Your Life
Replies: 5
Views: 563

Re: When They Make The Movie of Your Life

Thanks, Bob. While I was constructing this, I kept thinking
of the old Hitchcock movie, "39 Steps" and the way he used music
to set the scenes. It was a fascinating technique. So this is
a bit of tongue-in-cheek homage to that.
by judyt547
04 Nov 2019, 04:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: When They Make The Movie of Your Life
Replies: 5
Views: 563

When They Make The Movie of Your Life

When They Make The Movie of Your Life You open the mailbox with a gesture so commonplace that only the sound of high-pitched violins would alert the audience that a pivotal, life-changing scene is about to unfold. In the morning after the return mail has been sent--to the accompaniment of more violi...
by judyt547
03 Nov 2019, 22:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Tryst
Replies: 6
Views: 685

Re: A Tryst

Meenas, not sure where you're going with this, I find it difficult to follow. The language is "off", and it needs some work on the punctuation. Too many personal pronouns when you could probably reduce them to no more than one per stanza, if even that. No sure where the "tryst' in the title comes in...
by judyt547
03 Nov 2019, 22:27
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Across The River
Replies: 10
Views: 1209

Re: Across The River

::smiles:: thank you, meenas
by judyt547
03 Nov 2019, 17:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Crossing Into South Carolina
Replies: 8
Views: 1857

Re: Crossing Into South Carolina

I know this is old news by now, but in rereading it, I think I'd be inclinded to change "my new lover" to 'she" and let the reader discover her by the convo in the rest of the poem. Either way, I like it. The language is spot on.
by judyt547
01 Nov 2019, 15:40
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:
Replies: 19
Views: 1527

Re: Upcoming November IBPC 2019:

And thank you for the nomination: (tell me if I'm doing this right) Judy Thompson thompson_wp@tds.net Yes, this is my own original work and unpublished I have no other commitments regarding this poem on other sites: Across the River we stand at the edge of a field, empty except for new fallen snow a...
by judyt547
01 Nov 2019, 15:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Across The River
Replies: 10
Views: 1209

Re: Across The River

I saw that. Im impressed, in spite of myself. And thank you.

Go to advanced search