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1. Scene length and structure (1-5): 5 2. Clarity of spatial set (1-5): 5 3. Comprehensible prose narrative (1-5): 4 Heads up on this small typo: "A course she’s allergic". I'm guessing you meant "of." 4. Tension on the page (1-5): 5 Great tension and unexpected dynamic between Mrs. Neilson and John...

Liz, Fiona, Ben....thank you thank you thank you! Really good and amazingly helpful feedback. Can't tell you how much I appreciate you guys taking the time to read and critique. Will post more soon if you guys are up for some more reading

I suppose I'll be brave and go next...here's the first 500 words of The Chemicals Between Us. England is weeping and sparkling tonight, in great gusts of rain and steam and lights on pavement. The city of Oxford’s spire skyline and belly of modern red buses dispenses passengers to pavement and throw...

Yaaaay Liz!!! Yaaaaaay :D Can't wait to read more! Ok, now that I'm done with all the girly "yaying" I will be business-like;) Love that you dive right into the action in those first few 500ish words. It's clear from the initial paragraph that this is fantasy, but I'm wondering if a tiny bit of addi...