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by FranktheFrank
02 Dec 2019, 21:19
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming December IBPC 2019:
Replies: 11
Views: 478

Re: Upcoming December IBPC 2019:

Much appreciated Bob for the nom, but I am planning
to put this one out.
by FranktheFrank
22 Nov 2019, 16:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: odds and endings
Replies: 7
Views: 1115

Re: odds and endings

I echo what Bob said,
nothing you've done has caused this hiatus.
We've all been busy.
I won't be back for a moth or so, things happening.
Don't worry Judy, all is well - keep writing. :)
by FranktheFrank
09 Nov 2019, 23:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Sparrow Found (1917) - V2
Replies: 5
Views: 1655

Re: A Sparrow Found (1917)

Thanks all. Edith Piaf was perhaps one of the greatest French female singers ever. He voice was powerful and she could carry an audience to the point of tears. She sang about romantic love, poverty, the rough end of life. She had a bad start in life, poverty, rickets, blindness through lack of care....
by FranktheFrank
06 Nov 2019, 21:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Tryst
Replies: 6
Views: 1530

Re: A Tryst

Meena, you are improving all the time
Judy makes some valid points
it could do with some work.

Just a little tidying up, that's all.
by FranktheFrank
06 Nov 2019, 19:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ratio of Critiques to Poems Posted
Replies: 15
Views: 25319

Re: Ratio of Critiques to Poems Posted

I like to get proper criticism and detailed truthful likes or dislikes - detailed critique I don't appreciate sarcasm, rudeness, violence, or blasphemy but honest to goodness replies are like gold. Someone once said my poem was absolute rubbish then wrote to me some time later praising my stickabili...
by FranktheFrank
06 Nov 2019, 17:25
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Manifesto
Replies: 13
Views: 1941

Re: Manifesto

Judy, relax
you are among friends here
I'm sorry if you felt pressure from my probing. :)
by FranktheFrank
06 Nov 2019, 16:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Manifesto
Replies: 13
Views: 1941

Re: Manifesto

I assure you this forum is not being abused
by FranktheFrank
06 Nov 2019, 16:15
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Manifesto
Replies: 13
Views: 1941

Re: Manifesto

Hi Judy not offended and there is no request or wish for you to remove I was trying to find the intent was it to say there is no God or to nudge us one way or 'tother I will ignore content in future and stick to form But a poem without content is like straw in the wind in my opine. There has to be a...
by FranktheFrank
06 Nov 2019, 03:15
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: When They Make The Movie of Your Life
Replies: 7
Views: 1399

Re: When They Make The Movie of Your Life

39 steps has been made several time
good film
when you think about it our lives are a number of film sets
and props and actors come and go all he time
Interesting concept.
by FranktheFrank
06 Nov 2019, 03:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Untitled
Replies: 9
Views: 1603

Re: Untitled

God is coming more into your work
I wonder if there is a reason

It could be N has lost faith
and is complaining the He (God) has left her
not sure.
by FranktheFrank
06 Nov 2019, 03:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Manifesto
Replies: 13
Views: 1941

Re: Manifesto

There is no Santa that is true - lie a figment of imagination for children and some grown ups
by FranktheFrank
01 Nov 2019, 02:31
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: I wanted to Share this Great Poem with You
Replies: 0
Views: 610

I wanted to Share this Great Poem with You

Jaime Mera MISINTERPRETING A COLLAGE DURING TRUMP’S PRESIDENCY I see a wasp. It’s Trump and Pence and every televangelist that condemns lesbians. Sean Hannity’s anti-LGBT rhetoric, like the hornet that crawls into the cracks of attics in America’s heartland, riles up red-hatted white males to swarm ...
by FranktheFrank
30 Oct 2019, 15:14
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Flight
Replies: 9
Views: 1811

Re: Flight

I think the title: 'Fledgling' gives much away, yet I prefer it
as it removes doubt.

And as Bob said details enliven a poem as long as they are not irrelevant
fledgling is so apt.
by FranktheFrank
30 Oct 2019, 15:12
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Flight
Replies: 9
Views: 1811

Re: Flight

Someone once wrote 'Poetry isn't a code to be broken'. But most modern poetry is like a crossword puzzle where the reader has to do so much work by himself/herself and interpret. Seemingly the reader can deduce a completely different narrative from what the poet intended and yet it is still a good p...
by FranktheFrank
27 Oct 2019, 22:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Big House at Mambalam
Replies: 13
Views: 2022

Re: The Big House at Mambalam

Circumambulate is a valid word just it is so unwieldly in my opinion
other might prefer it
I would say circle around the cow
or circle around
even use parade around.
Your choice, sorry if I have confused matters.
by FranktheFrank
26 Oct 2019, 17:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Big House at Mambalam
Replies: 13
Views: 2022

Re: The Big House at Mambalam

Difficult to read with all the unnecessary spaces. Some work to do yet. As I understand it Hindus do not worship cows but hold them in high esteem, clarity with word use is essential for good writing. Glad you dropped 'worship of the shit-hole', when you meant to say circulated the rear-end of the c...
by FranktheFrank
25 Oct 2019, 16:25
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Sparrow Found (1917) - V2
Replies: 5
Views: 1655

A Sparrow Found (1917) - V2

A Sparrow Found (1917) by FranktheFrank » 25 Oct 2019, 01:25 V2 17 November 2109 "I liked to watch her sleep; she slept like a baby." Simone (Momone) Berteaut, Piaf , Opera Mundi, Paris, 1969. The hiss of steam from a coffee machine a gurgle of absinthe into a glass the rattle of coins on the counte...
by FranktheFrank
25 Oct 2019, 01:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Smelling the Roses
Replies: 9
Views: 1203

Re: Smelling the Roses

Seems a good start
add the word 'prick' in there
that will add drama.
We would like you to stay
but, don't burn up.
by FranktheFrank
23 Oct 2019, 22:58
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Folkston, Georgia, 1960
Replies: 9
Views: 1759

Re: Folkston, Georgia, 1960

What's wrong in being white and privileged.
The only time we were the same level was WW2 in the UK
and even then rich people could buy extra food.
In 100 years whites will be the poor, Chinese will take over.
Enjoy while it lasts.
by FranktheFrank
23 Oct 2019, 22:55
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Emily Dickinson, Marry Me — revised
Replies: 13
Views: 3636

Re: Emily Dickinson, Marry Me — revised

Wasn't Emily a closet lesbian?
Or had inclinations that way.
by FranktheFrank
23 Oct 2019, 22:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: You Can't Rid a Room of an Elephant
Replies: 8
Views: 2079

Re: You Can't Rid a Room of an Elephant

I think this is your best this month Bob.
Maybe another word for addiction,
something like affliction.
by FranktheFrank
23 Oct 2019, 22:51
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Neigbour
Replies: 2
Views: 593

Re: Neigbour

It is long
it is wordy
It's a diary conceit in a way of a fictional character.
by FranktheFrank
23 Oct 2019, 22:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Neighbors
Replies: 9
Views: 1315

Re: Neighbors

I like the concept. I think the nightmare line is a bit strong, something else, regret, wanting to make a move, but afraid. Your neighbour poem has sparked off mine. It's hard for old people to date like youngsters but reading the papers they seem to be very busy or you might say promiscuous. Well y...
by FranktheFrank
23 Oct 2019, 22:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Poet as Goldfish in a Pet Store
Replies: 13
Views: 1783

Re: Poet as Goldfish in a Pet Store

All day I make my rounds, sweeping the water into eddies as kids and mothers bounce in from the sidewalk, the kids as eager as finches on the first warm day of spring, chatting and nodding their little heads. The shop is as colourful as a birthday: canaries, red beaks, orange legs... A girl dazzled ...
by FranktheFrank
23 Oct 2019, 22:42
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Poet as Goldfish in a Pet Store
Replies: 13
Views: 1783

Re: Poet as Goldfish in a Pet Store

I think it's too fast Bob
suggest slowing it down with longer lines
there's a lot to take in and slowing down would
enable the reader to absorb.

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