Search found 1437 matches

by BobBradshaw
26 Jan 2020, 10:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sleeping on a Roof
Replies: 7
Views: 114

Re: Sleeping on a Roof

Siva, Eira -- thank you for your suggestions. I have adjusted the poem....best
by BobBradshaw
26 Jan 2020, 10:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nestling
Replies: 2
Views: 52

Re: The Nestling

I like the metaphor. This poignant and unusual story works....nit: I don't know if you need entwined and wrapped both.
by BobBradshaw
26 Jan 2020, 10:17
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Christmas Remembrance (revision 3)
Replies: 13
Views: 2355

Re: Christmas Remembrance (revision 3)

It's lovely. Finished. I love the details...like the sweet roses dabbed behind the ears.
by BobBradshaw
25 Jan 2020, 22:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sleeping on a Roof
Replies: 7
Views: 114

Re: Sleeping on a Roof

Thank you, Siva
by BobBradshaw
24 Jan 2020, 22:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sleeping on a Roof
Replies: 7
Views: 114

Sleeping on a Roof

Sleeping on a Roof She brought me home from a reading, saying no poet should sleep so rough-- then trimmed my long hair, scissors striding expertly. She waitressed during the day. I wandered the streets admiring the dark barges of rain clouds, the Chinatown bins of ice and fish, the bay’s white skir...
by BobBradshaw
23 Jan 2020, 07:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Paperfall
Replies: 6
Views: 120

Re: Paperfall

Oh that's great...so happy those 2 lines were useful to you....best
by BobBradshaw
22 Jan 2020, 23:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Paperfall
Replies: 6
Views: 120

Re: Paperfall

I hope you don't mind. Seeing your lovely poem, and following up on Sachico's Cut Paper, I have written something as well on this subject....maybe down the road I'll post it, if it's okay with you. Bob
by BobBradshaw
22 Jan 2020, 21:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Paperfall
Replies: 6
Views: 120

Re: Paperfall

This is lovely, with its imagery and restraint. The quiet dignity captures the artist's work. I like it very much. I wanted a stronger closing stanza, but otherwise no criticisms, just enjoyment.
by BobBradshaw
21 Jan 2020, 22:25
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Another New Year's Eve in Prison
Replies: 3
Views: 178

Another New Year's Eve in Prison

Another New Year's Eve in Prison Every night I sleep with you, Alyssa. Tonight's snow like I remember it falling on a New Years’ Eve driving to see you. I fold you into my arms, pray you'll never slip out of them again. The snow outside my window like shredded love letters— while inside these walls ...
by BobBradshaw
21 Jan 2020, 09:20
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Emily Dickinson, In Love
Replies: 8
Views: 553

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

major trim....
by BobBradshaw
21 Jan 2020, 09:00
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Black as the coal workers, the soot collects in her hair.
Replies: 5
Views: 267

Re: Black as the coal workers, the soot collects in her hair.

Plied is fine. Chug-chugging? No....maybe "opening up" the western ghats, ie. making them accessible. Or "rumbling across the western ghats"...."thundering", "steaming"
by BobBradshaw
19 Jan 2020, 23:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Follow the Poem
Replies: 4
Views: 382

Re: Follow the Poem

shortened
by BobBradshaw
19 Jan 2020, 22:33
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Black as the coal workers, the soot collects in her hair.
Replies: 5
Views: 267

Re: Black as the coal workers, the soot collects in her hair.

This is good, Siva. I like how your work your culture into your poems, sometimes in surprising ways. An example is here, in these lines: so she begged oil and the powder of green leaves ‘shikaki’to help them scrub. Some small suggestions: 1) remove "real" from S1...unnecessary 2) in S2, simplify it ...
by BobBradshaw
17 Jan 2020, 10:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Emily Dickinson, In Love
Replies: 8
Views: 553

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

Thx, Siva....the period at the end has been rolled into place. By the way, happy new year, and may you write many wonderful poems in 2020....best, Bob
by BobBradshaw
16 Jan 2020, 22:26
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Follow the Poem
Replies: 4
Views: 382

Re: Follow the Poem

Revised...see V2
by BobBradshaw
16 Jan 2020, 22:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Emily Dickinson, In Love
Replies: 8
Views: 553

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

I “borrowed” that image from an Emily Dickinson poem...wanted to make the poem more authentic. However, that doesn’t keep it from sounding contrived in this poem. Thx for commenting,Siva
by BobBradshaw
16 Jan 2020, 06:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Follow the Poem
Replies: 4
Views: 382

Follow the Poem

V3: Follow the Poem I am a poem for you. Believe in me as you would a valentine from a secret admirer. I will find you a love. Like a Hollywood studio I will dispatch my best talent scouts to discover her. While other couples sit across from each other at meals, heads bowed, lost in their phones as ...
by BobBradshaw
09 Jan 2020, 21:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Emily Dickinson, In Love
Replies: 8
Views: 553

Emily Dickinson, In Love

Emily Dickinson, In Love

Though never spoken of
marriage had been in the air—

as inevitable as pollen--
or birdsong in mid-summer.

Imagine when she heard—
Henry—engaged—

her heart's chandelier--
wrecked on the heart's floor.
by BobBradshaw
06 Jan 2020, 23:29
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: It Is About Algi
Replies: 2
Views: 409

Re: It Is About Algi

Good poem....Don't wince, but I have some very minor suggestions. I would cut the first stanza, and change the first line of S2 to read "Every Sunday, my chef Algi", moving "has" to the next line. On S3 change the last line to "totaling their costs"....one action instead of 2 actions(segregating and...
by BobBradshaw
05 Jan 2020, 21:30
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Escape from Routine
Replies: 5
Views: 1233

Re: Escape from Routine

Eira, your poem is nominated for the IBPC. Can you post it? Thx
by BobBradshaw
04 Jan 2020, 20:41
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming January IBPC 2020:
Replies: 13
Views: 1051

Re: Upcoming January IBPC 2020:

"Escape from Routine", if I had to choose
by BobBradshaw
04 Jan 2020, 00:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Marakuli
Replies: 6
Views: 1447

Re: Marakuli

Your poem is nominated

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