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I like the sounds in this.

I have removed the 1st stanza.

The first stanza is a nice opening...lose these 2 telling lines though... Fear and amazement place me in a piquancy. Trim these lines out as well, for the same reason He is a bundle of joy to behold His eyes sparkle with mischief. make impossibility impossible. I like these lines in the closing stan...

Since you asked, Michael, this is the only one I have that is a concrete shaped visual.... Caterpillar As a teenager I was inexplicably optimistic-- and maybe the humble caterpillar instinctively too feels something special is meant for him-- that despite his tacky suit— yellow, black and white stri...

Thanks, Michael. I like your suggestion about the first stanza. i'll change it

Interesting character. I look forward to reading your revision.

Bob Bradshaw bobbybradshw@yahoo.com My original, unpublished poem and not represented elsewhere. Ode to My Ears Could I hope for better silent partners than my ears? Skilled censors, they filter out excessive noise. Otherwise I'd be overwhelmed, like a man caught in an open field, the sky everywhere...

V2: Ode to Legs Without thanks or wages they carry me wherever I want, whenever I want. They never question my judgment --why I should want to stand outside my ex girlfriend's window at 3 a.m., for example. They're as loyal as peninsulas to their continent. And unlike feet they're never underfoot. I...

I have cut more lines...

Meenas, your poem has been nominated. If you want it to go forward, please post it asap in Writer's Block Palaver Upcoming March

I also nominate Meenas' "On the Banks of Ganges".

Thx for the explanation. Because of my ignorance, it throws confusion into an otherwise nice flow. Even knowing it, I don't think it is crucial to the poem. Maybe leave it in according to your audience? Anyway, I don't want to focus on this point, since my emphasis should be on how nice a poem this ...

Revised, deleting a couple lines... & tweaking another

Good poem. A pretty nice flow to your narrative as well. My one nit...I'm not sure how Shiva clearly fits in with the rest of the poem.

I nominate Ken's poem "A Boy's Life" & Michael’s “the heart is not earthbound”.

The contrasts between your culture and this one is interesting...both the pros and cons. This one being a thumb's up. I would look to strengthen the verbs, and to enhance on the actions...give us details, for example the spices, the type of rice, etc.

I really like the description in these opening lines....the screen door and a voice calling out to come inside recalls my childhood as well. I'd walk out to where our road ends or runs on under alias through thick green corn rows that come right up to the ditch, lie back on the edge of the asphalt, ...

Lol...thanks, Michael

Good theme. The subject of trees and their secret lives is intriguing. Documentaries and books have been written on the subject. A subject that holds much potential.

Thx, Ken, for the comment.

An hundred years should go to praise Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze; Two hundred to adore each breast, But thirty thousand to the rest; --Andrew Marvell, "To His Coy Mistress" Marvell Having just rolled over onto my back before I reached for a cigarette, my girlfriend Amy demanded to know who...

Good metaphor. I like how you bring the outside in, as gardeners like to say. Well done

Very nice!!! Congrats!

Terrific poem, Ken. No nits...kudos

It was posted at W a short while ago, and 3 years ago some of the lines were used in a poem that didn't work out that well.