New York Pitch Conferences and Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, Poetry and Authors

Love the close! Fab last line

Terrific, hard hitting poem about a bleak environment. Great close...

Fabulous. One of your best

Nice one

I agree with Ken. Those first 3 stanzas are the heart and soul of the poem...they’re very nice

Thanks, Meenas

Billy, thank you... I might send it out... something to think about
Ken... glad you enjoyed it

Algernon Charles Swinburne He was lean like a flamingo, his beak as distinct. He boasted a cataract of red hair but was just as famous for his drunken pratfalls, his poetry accused of being just as confused as he was when sloshing about a room spilling brandy or shrieking hysterically like a peacock...

Nicely done...love these lines: I think of the second, just out of court, update with phone calls, a check periodical nothing inf a taxation work goes fine. It is kind of having two spouses, each one in different countries, and with that I meet a third one, who turns irresistible. She is attractive ...

I agree with Meenas...like that Picasso image best.

Sounds a bit Bernie-esque. Excellent images... loved the first 2 stanzas...all although I don’t know the reference to the pesos and coconuts. I like how you are telling everything strictly through imagery. The change in tone from the 2nd to the 3rd stanza is jolting but at the same time exhilarating...

I agree with Ken... the Van Gogh image is good but not for this poem. Save it for something else. Love the telephone pole. Good poem... but agree the end needs a better punch line.

A good subject...but tightening would help...as in these 3 lines...too telling...give us the same impression in an image or two...make us feel his mediocrity, his sense of failure. So look to tighten wherever you can...and dramatize the last 2 lines...using an image....something like? "...debris, di...

A fascinating and intriguing poem....the lines are well written, but I think the poem needs a narrator who makes us feel his vulnerability, or if he isn't vulnerable, makes it clear why this place is so meaningful to him personally

I have revised the poem some based on some wonderful suggestions sent to me by Poetema. Thx, Poetema....Michael, Poetema says that she/he hasn't been able to log on? Can you contact Poetema and help? Thanks, Michael.

1/Bob Bradshaw 2/bobbybradshw@yahoo.com 3/The poem is my original 4/and unpublished work 5/a I don't have a poem committed to represent another board in the current IBPC. Last Game of the Season Under high clouds we wave our thunder sticks. I recall biking to this stadium as a kid, the air stutterin...

Then I nominate Meenas' Kadaneri poem.

Thanks, Michael

Sorry, just getting back to you, Meenas. Thank you for your lovely review

I nominate Billy's "It'll Grow Back", Eira's "The Owl and the Blackbird" and Kenneth's "Visiting Sandburg's Homeplace"

Thank you, Ken. I would appreciate the nom.

Good poem....especially liked the second stanza

Thanks, Ken....I'll think about sending it out, and let you know....thx again

Thanks, Ken... so glad to see your remarks! A nom is appreciated; this month has a number of worthy postings.... including your Sandberg poem, Eira’s piece, Billy’s poem, Meenas’ poem... just to name some off the top of my head

v2: Last Game of the Season Under high clouds we wave our thunder sticks. I recall biking to this stadium as a kid, the air stuttering from baseball cards pinned to my spokes. When the team won it was like the clouds parting, an omen of good things to come... The game is different now. I will never ...