Search found 1556 matches

by BobBradshaw
02 Jul 2020, 01:06
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Robert Browning
Replies: 3
Views: 415

Re: Robert Browning

Thank you, Siva. Any poem nominated is fine.
by BobBradshaw
01 Jul 2020, 21:38
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming July IBPC 2020:
Replies: 2
Views: 63

Re: Upcoming July IBPC 2020:

I nominate Siva’s “Jackfruit Payasam”.
by BobBradshaw
29 Jun 2020, 22:21
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: I Walked into Marriage
Replies: 4
Views: 320

Re: I Walked into Marriage

The theme is a bit unusual, at least here in the States. It's worth salvaging.
by BobBradshaw
29 Jun 2020, 08:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: I Walked into Marriage
Replies: 4
Views: 320

Re: I Walked into Marriage

I like the theme. This feels like a rough draft. I am baffled by S3 and what it’s trying to say. What does an M.A. have to do with a blouse? And the “don’t know” seems like the start of a new sentence? I don’t know what the bridge of flowers represents...a cultural reference? If so, maybe a footnote...
by BobBradshaw
29 Jun 2020, 01:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Wolf Child
Replies: 3
Views: 355

Re: The Wolf Child

I have decided to tell the story in 3rd person.
by BobBradshaw
28 Jun 2020, 00:01
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Robert Browning
Replies: 3
Views: 415

Re: Robert Browning

Tweaked
by BobBradshaw
24 Jun 2020, 21:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Wolf Child
Replies: 3
Views: 355

The Wolf Child

V2: The Wolf Child Joey grew silent as moss. Hopeless, his father said. Autistic, the doctors replied. Everyone stuck their face into his. The boy grew thin, his hips narrowing like a wolf's. He loped through an asylum's halls. A nurse, Jan, followed. They walked the grounds together, stares trailin...
by BobBradshaw
22 Jun 2020, 00:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: For Your Love
Replies: 11
Views: 1746

Re: For Your Love

Thanks, Michael. You’re very generous and always have been. Mucho gracias
by BobBradshaw
22 Jun 2020, 00:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Robert Browning
Replies: 3
Views: 415

Robert Browning

Robert Browning Ba slumped against Robert’s shoulder, her hair brushing his cheek. For years he often carried her across streets as if she were weightless, up steps to their rooms at Casa Guidi, to her sofa’s patch of sunlight. All night Ba had joked like a schoolgirl, saying she felt better— and su...
by BobBradshaw
21 Jun 2020, 00:03
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Jackfruit Payasam
Replies: 3
Views: 383

Re: Jackfruit Payasam

This is a delightful read. My only suggestion is to tweak these lines: The dead need a physical form to land on earth - caw, caw, caw before they eat ; and scoop away the served plantain leaf. to The dead need a physical form to land on earth: the crows caw before they eat, and scoop away the served...
by BobBradshaw
18 Jun 2020, 23:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Unhappy
Replies: 7
Views: 620

Re: Beethoven Unhappy

Thanks, Siva
by BobBradshaw
18 Jun 2020, 07:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Unhappy
Replies: 7
Views: 620

Re: Beethoven Unhappy

I’ve shortened the poem to give it a better flow.
by BobBradshaw
17 Jun 2020, 09:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Unhappy
Replies: 7
Views: 620

Re: Beethoven Unhappy

Thx for commenting but I don’t understand your gist. Could you elaborate?
by BobBradshaw
16 Jun 2020, 09:32
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Beethoven Unhappy
Replies: 7
Views: 620

Beethoven Unhappy

V2: Beethoven Unhappy To view the trees across from his apartment, Uncle hired a stonemason to knock a hole in a wall. The landlord, enraged, demanded Uncle move. He couldn't satisfy critics anymore than landlords. " Why can’t you compose more like Haydn-- or Mozart ?" His orchestras were unhappy, a...
by BobBradshaw
16 Jun 2020, 09:30
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Newly Wed Start Their Marriage At The House Of The Groom's Parents
Replies: 6
Views: 669

Re: Newly Wed Start Their Marriage At The House Of The Groom's Parents

I like all of it except for this line. I guess my suggestion wasn't a good one. At any rate, "room" should be plural...and my question...are these two rooms referring to the bathrooms?

but an attached bathroom
is as if marriage revolved only in these two room
by BobBradshaw
14 Jun 2020, 00:14
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Heated Glass
Replies: 3
Views: 531

Re: Heated Glass

Thx, Siva. Your comments are helpful
by BobBradshaw
13 Jun 2020, 08:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Newly Wed Start Their Marriage At The House Of The Groom's Parents
Replies: 6
Views: 669

Re: Newly Wed Start Their Marriage At The House Of The Groom's Parents

Good descriptions. Overall a good poem. A couple suggestions: 1) nose lift s/b face lift 2) but an attached bathroom as if marriage revolved only in these two room sounds a bit off...should it be but an attached bathroom is as if marriage revolves only in these two rooms and for this line and the ro...
by BobBradshaw
09 Jun 2020, 07:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Grandma Travels in a Bullet Train
Replies: 2
Views: 480

Re: Granda Travels in a Bullet Train

Enjoyed the charming lines about the tricycle, and more. Just a couple small suggestions: 1) change “with the driver” to “and the driver” 2) place a comma after “hair” 3) be more efficient with this line... she was over excited, and she narrated how a tricycle e.g., Grandma excitedly told how a tric...
by BobBradshaw
09 Jun 2020, 07:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Heated Glass
Replies: 3
Views: 531

Heated Glass

v2: Heated Glass You vanished into your own world--suddenly deaf to my pleas, as if you’d dropped through a trap door. Yet I hoped our marriage, like the glass leaf that once fell from our highest shelf, could be restored. I was prepared to work at it. Shattered glass should never be tossed. In the ...
by BobBradshaw
08 Jun 2020, 07:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Summer Unnoticed
Replies: 2
Views: 601

Re: Summer Unnoticed

Good poem, Siva. No criticisms.. I enjoyed it all
by BobBradshaw
06 Jun 2020, 23:29
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Walking Home After School
Replies: 1
Views: 708

Re: Walking Home After School

Very nice poem, Siva. I enjoyed it. There are some tweaks that I would suggest. 1) Make book plural 2) put a period after "gates" 3) then put a comma after sky, instead of a semicolon 4) put "past" before "the sight"

Best
by BobBradshaw
01 Jun 2020, 21:11
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming June IBPC 2020:
Replies: 5
Views: 632

Re: Upcoming June IBPC 2020:

Thank you, Siva Bob Bradshaw bobbybradshw@yahoo.com The poem is my original and unpublished work and I don't have a poem committed to represent another board in the current IBPC. For Your Love From the stroller you lift your arms toward me as if you’re merely stretching after a long nap, but when Gr...
by BobBradshaw
01 Jun 2020, 20:32
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming June IBPC 2020:
Replies: 5
Views: 632

Re: Upcoming June IBPC 2020:

I nominate Siva's "Sunrise at...."

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