Search found 94 matches

by Gracy321
05 Feb 2018, 08:31
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming February IBPC 2018:
Replies: 15
Views: 4591

Re: Upcoming February IBPC 2018:

I expect the poems have already been sent out, but just for the record, I second all of them. Great poems, sorry I've been away.
Best of luck to all.
Gracy
by Gracy321
05 Feb 2018, 08:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Heart With No Permanent Address
Replies: 10
Views: 3365

Re: Heart With No Permanent Address

The title is magnificent. The rest is a great follow up, sincere, but not at all overly emotional. Strikes the perfect note, keeping a distant yet respectful show of uncomfortable thoughts of past days... all under a gentle mantel of loss and recovery...or not. I, as a reader, am left with a feeling...
by Gracy321
05 Feb 2018, 07:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Replies: 13
Views: 3785

Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral

Anthem at my Father's Funeral I'd lost the music deep inside me, dormant since my father died until I heard the miners sing, Land of my Father's surging tide of harmonies. I burned with pride. Through passing time its timbre wrings emotions still - this ancestry my forefathers bequeathed to me. Hi ...
by Gracy321
25 Dec 2017, 12:25
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Dusk
Replies: 5
Views: 2712

Re: Dusk

Bernie01 wrote:Pleased to add a second.

(G, get well and fly with this poem to the IBPC.)


bernie
Thank you, Bernie. I shall try to fly, not sure I deserve this nom and second.
by Gracy321
22 Dec 2017, 11:30
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: You Arrive Like Fall, Suddenly
Replies: 7
Views: 2206

Re: You Arrive Like Fall, Suddenly

Hi Bob, Loving this piece, with its sense of nostalgia/color/fragrances threading thru' each strophe. I've only one suggestion: right away, I couldn't help remarking on the amount of times you use the word "like". At least six or so. Perhaps you wish to use lots of similes, so ignore me. Enjoyed, be...
by Gracy321
22 Dec 2017, 11:20
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ancient Moorings (Revision I)
Replies: 10
Views: 3052

Re: Ancient Moorings (Revision I)

Thanks Bernie, Bob, Frank, Capricorn and Ken for your great suggestions.
I've posted a revision, following your help as well as opting for more clarity on some issues.
Best, and blessings to all who celebrate Jesus's birthday this weekend. Enjoy!
Gracy :D :)
by Gracy321
20 Dec 2017, 12:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ancient Moorings (Revision I)
Replies: 10
Views: 3052

Re: Ancient Moorings

Hi Gracy, I love this one and could relate. Great ending! I think ancient moorings loose there grip on us all eventually. Behind the farmhouse, a smell of manure from the corrals. The buzz of blowflies from the pig sty. Scent of wild herbs from pastures. Whiffs of ripening berries from my mother’s ...
by Gracy321
09 Dec 2017, 11:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Called Away
Replies: 7
Views: 2253

Re: Called Away

Hi Bernie, You've already had comments and suggestions. And you've tweaked your poem. So I don't think there's anything else to nit. Hacienda is Spanish, doesn't match with Etruscan, which makes your poem sound old-worldish and I love that, even if it's happening in the present. I like the mood of t...
by Gracy321
09 Dec 2017, 10:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ancient Moorings (Revision I)
Replies: 10
Views: 3052

Re: Ancient Moorings

Now that Bernie has had a comment, I find this poem even more interesting I think it is one of your best. I felt you could have started with: From the old farm, the smell of manure the buzz of blowflies but most of all the scent of wild herbs and ripening berries from mother's orchard. I must debun...
by Gracy321
09 Dec 2017, 10:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ancient Moorings (Revision I)
Replies: 10
Views: 3052

Re: Ancient Moorings

Gracy, i admire how you handle the subject of grieving a lost father. Introducing the subject late in the poem, I think is a great idea. You begin with olfactory imagery, smells that are common which quickly engages the reader. I like the notation of missing coffee cream and sugar as a .metaphor fo...
by Gracy321
09 Dec 2017, 10:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ancient Moorings (Revision I)
Replies: 10
Views: 3052

Re: Ancient Moorings

G--- i really like the feeling tone of the title and the first five verses as they open and speak clearly. but from here down, i'm feeling a little disconnect. Everything, even antagonists, in its destined place...................antagonists? Things signify, unexchangeable, forever; like a tray ful...
by Gracy321
05 Dec 2017, 02:29
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ancient Moorings (Revision I)
Replies: 10
Views: 3052

Ancient Moorings (Revision I)

(Revision I) Ancient Moorings Behind the farmhouse, smell of manure from the corrals. The pig sty buzzing with blowflies. Scent of wild herbs from pastures. Whiffs of ripening berries entice me to my mother’s orchard. Everything, even antagonists, in its destined place. Wraiths signify, unexchangeab...
by Gracy321
05 Dec 2017, 02:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Evening In Jurrasica
Replies: 5
Views: 1720

Re: Evening In Jurrasica

Hi Ken, I love this poem. Brings back some memories, so I can relate to it in a slightly different context. I've read it three times, but will return, as I've chores to do now. Just wondering about "to eat or be eaten beneath the killing skies". Was it very hot? Not quite sure who or what eats N. An...
by Gracy321
05 Dec 2017, 01:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Orang Asli
Replies: 10
Views: 3022

Re: Orang Asli

I'm back because I clicked on the link Bernie left you/us. I've learned a great deal about the Orang Asli indigenous groups. So many of them! Highly interesting, so thank you, Bernie. I'm interested in indigenous peoples because we're having clashes with some who've lived for over 3.000 years or mor...
by Gracy321
05 Dec 2017, 01:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Half Moon Bay
Replies: 8
Views: 2307

Re: Half Moon Bay

Oh dear, how I miss racing on beaches with my dog Cheetah. She was a stray dog, we kept and loved her. Your poem touches me. I see you've been given plenty of suggestions. I only wonder whether one races "up" beaches? I always picture going down to beaches, from sand dunes or whatever. Just sayin'.....
by Gracy321
04 Dec 2017, 02:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Orang Asli
Replies: 10
Views: 3022

Re: Orang Asli

I encounter a family, clad sparse talking a different dialect, behaving strange. It is eleven in the morning <<<<< Period or semi-colon? the man, an Orang asli <<<<< Cap asli sells fresh honey. Jetto, greets with the coloured warm toothy smile He smells fish <<<<<Period after smile. Does he smell "...
by Gracy321
04 Dec 2017, 02:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Orang Asli
Replies: 10
Views: 3022

Re: Orang Asli

Wow, this poem really attracts me. I always love poems about other countries. Save some punctuation suggestions, I've nothing to crit. You have Orang Asli capped in the title, but not in the poem. Oops, I think I'll quote your poem, so as to be able to make my suggestions easier to follow. TorT, of ...
by Gracy321
29 Nov 2017, 12:28
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Popular Summer Cruises from $799.00
Replies: 14
Views: 3583

Re: Popular Summer Cruises from $799.00

Hi Bernie, I've been away due to health reasons.

Love your poem, no nits at all.

Title suggestion: Summer Cruises $799.00 (I think it suits the tone of the poem to include the cheap price. Just sayin... :D )

I also second the nomination for IBPC.

Best, Gracy
by Gracy321
29 Nov 2017, 12:14
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming December IBPC 2017:
Replies: 21
Views: 6256

Re: Upcoming December IBPC 2017:

Thank you, Eira, for nominating my poem "Reverie".

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=6838

I've just tweaked it a little. I've not posted it anywhere else, so I gladly accept your nomination.
Best, Gracy
by Gracy321
24 Nov 2017, 11:43
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Reverie (tweaked slightly)
Replies: 10
Views: 3143

Re: Reverie

Gracy, I am so glad you didn't remove this. It is highly original and well thought out. Kenneth is right, you should never remove after just one reply (or even a lot more, in my opinion) One place made me wonder perhaps bacteria in the guts of a volcano, Bacillus infernus generating sulphur and iro...
by Gracy321
24 Nov 2017, 11:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Reverie (tweaked slightly)
Replies: 10
Views: 3143

Re: Reverie

Kenneth2816 wrote:See? Its perfectly clear to Bernie.
LOL, Bernie seems to understand my poem better than I do myself.
I'll return with a clearer mind, it's almost dawn now!
Gracy
by Gracy321
24 Nov 2017, 11:21
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Reverie (tweaked slightly)
Replies: 10
Views: 3143

Re: Reverie

Kenneth2816 wrote:Gracy I would never withdraw a poem on the basis of one critique. It's your poem.
OK, Ken, I'll remember that. I wasn't going to remove it straight away, but I suppose it sounds as if I did have that in mind.
Best, Gracy
by Gracy321
24 Nov 2017, 11:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Reverie (tweaked slightly)
Replies: 10
Views: 3143

Re: Reverie

Thank you, Bernie, for your thoughtfulness in commenting on my poem. I wrote it at a difficult time in my life, then just filed it away. I've always admired T.S.Eliot, never tired of The Wasteland. And BTW, I actually wrote my thesis based in large part on Henri Bergon's The Two Sources of Morality ...
by Gracy321
22 Nov 2017, 11:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Poise
Replies: 5
Views: 1748

Re: Poise

Enjoyed, Meena. Followed through to the end with an interest in this teacher. I do think it needs a bit of tightening up. Some lines seem superfluous, imho. One says great, others spell out magnificent, treasure and many more. In our attempt we learn many new words. <<<<many is used twice in these l...
by Gracy321
22 Nov 2017, 10:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Revisionist Lullaby For The Mad Girl
Replies: 8
Views: 2387

Re: Revisionist Lullaby For The Mad Girl

Love the way you've enchained all these famous artists in one poem. Deftly strung together. Amazing. I'm a bit in the dark on the last stanza: Einstein unlocks some gap in the space-time continuum so I was there before you took a fist of pills with names like Greek gods. Don't "get" who took a fist ...

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