Search found 237 matches

by capricorn
21 May 2019, 02:26
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My Mother's Flashbacks
Replies: 5
Views: 231

My Mother's Flashbacks

Flashbacks I saw your father last night Two years have passed since his demise shook me, waves radiating from my epicentre. In the aftershock, I whispered to her of his slipping away, but she was lost in a mass of tangles. Aw - he looked so handsome He wore a flat cap in winter to warm his shiny pat...
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 02:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: haiku
Replies: 4
Views: 209

Re: haiku

Wow, Billy! These are wonderful. A train of kissing haiku.

There is so much to take in here, I'll have to read again.

Eira
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 02:17
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Moonlit Garden
Replies: 5
Views: 245

Re: Moonlit Garden

Love this one Meena - you are on a roll! A few thoughts below. I Am in a buffet, laid out in a garden. a pond besides the stars twinkle. The moon is full. Walks with me towards the table lights up [a] rows of dishes exotic and delicious. Salads, rice, roti, potato fries, soup, and many more. Veggie...
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 02:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 401

Re: untitled senryu

  Hi Eira, Wow Michael, you have given me so much to think on here (which I like!) I have always has a fascination for haiku/senryu but never do very well at writing.   a 3-line micro-form; that 3rd line crowds the senryu - and, too, there is that abstraction "joy" if filtering for a senryu, consid...
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 01:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 401

Re: untitled senryu

BobBradshaw wrote:
17 May 2019, 20:03
Nice
Thanks Bob
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 01:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 401

Re: untitled senryu

FranktheFrank wrote:
17 May 2019, 18:31
Very nice
should it be:
Father unaware.
Not sure, Frank - possibly Father is unaware
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 01:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 401

Re: untitled senryu

SivaRamanathan wrote:
17 May 2019, 18:03
Love this!
Thank you Siva
by capricorn
21 May 2019, 01:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 401

Re: untitled senryu

meenas17 wrote:
17 May 2019, 16:16
Classic! Eira.
Thank you Meena
by capricorn
17 May 2019, 16:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: untitled senryu
Replies: 10
Views: 401

untitled senryu

the test-tube baby
brings a mother untold joy;
father's unaware
by capricorn
17 May 2019, 16:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Path I Traverse
Replies: 3
Views: 394

Re: The Path I Traverse

An interesting poem, Meena, making me aware that everyone is different. I Love this description - especially L3.

Books,trading
and family pull
the threads along the folds
I succumb and survive.

Eira
by capricorn
17 May 2019, 15:55
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Haiku - Bulimia Nervosa
Replies: 8
Views: 493

Re: Haiku - Bulimia Nervosa

A great mini poem, Ken although I agree with Michael about it not being a haiku because of the use of simile. Good read all the same.

Eira
by capricorn
17 May 2019, 15:49
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Splinter In Your Palm
Replies: 5
Views: 1016

Re: Splinter In Your Palm

I like this very much, Bob. It's different. Your first line really drew me in. I love the metaphors and occasional inner rhyme and the way the story unfolds. The ending is brilliant I am also smoke from a fire you can't put out, sometimes a wisp of smoke as subtle as the perfume you don’t quite wash...
by capricorn
20 Apr 2019, 19:43
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Belated April IBPC 2019 thread:
Replies: 22
Views: 1890

Re: Belated April IBPC 2019 thread:

So glad you were able to do this for April, Michael. I wanted to nominate Frank's 'Rosebud' (although as the revision was done in April it could go later) I second Bob's 'Salmon Run' and Ken's Butterfly effect Letter' As mine has been seconded here are the details if chosen. presentideaseira@hotmail...
by capricorn
20 Apr 2019, 19:14
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: waited until International Haiku Poetry Day to share this good news:
Replies: 3
Views: 652

Re: waited until International Haiku Poetry Day to share this good news:

Well done Michael! I have a fascination for haiku/senryu. Perhaps I'll post some to get some expert help. :D
Eira
by capricorn
05 Apr 2019, 15:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Innocence Lost
Replies: 24
Views: 3520

Re: 'Rosebud' - Citizen Kane [edit 2 formerly No Voice]

I like your revision Frank and the change to 'bewildered' at the end - I think that word sums it all up very well.

I would nominate this, but notice there is no thread for this month??

Eira
by capricorn
30 Mar 2019, 01:54
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Celestial Spectator (seperate stanzas)
Replies: 4
Views: 1230

Re: Celestial Spectator

Kenneth2816 wrote:
29 Mar 2019, 09:33
Wow. I agree about a stanza break.
I've broken this into a few stanzas, Ken. Explanation given above to Bob.

Eira
by capricorn
30 Mar 2019, 01:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Celestial Spectator (seperate stanzas)
Replies: 4
Views: 1230

Re: Celestial Spectator

This is good. I would break this into 2 stanzas, after cutting this line(which I don’t get): I sang before the plaque and tangles scourged my mind. “tangles scourged my mind” is melodramatic and for me anyway obscure. Break S1 after “hymns”... think about it. This is so close Thanks Bob, As this is...
by capricorn
29 Mar 2019, 04:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Celestial Spectator (seperate stanzas)
Replies: 4
Views: 1230

Celestial Spectator (seperate stanzas)

Celestial Spectator Intent, I watch you congregate to pay your last respects, reciting snips of script like actors from an ill-remembered play, attired in pious masks. I listen gripped as timbres swell from favoured hymns I sang, before a mass of tangles plagued my mind. I weigh each wilted friendsh...
by capricorn
29 Mar 2019, 04:00
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: John and Fanny
Replies: 5
Views: 1432

Re: John and Fanny

A beautiful poem, Bob. I think John and Fanny is fine for the title. I love the last stanza - you always get the ending so right.

Eira
by capricorn
29 Mar 2019, 03:55
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Innocence Lost
Replies: 24
Views: 3520

Re: No Voice -edit 1

Brilliant poem, Frank. Very strong. I felt very moved reading this.

I like Bob's suggestion of 'dazed' as an alternative for 'bemused'.

Eira
by capricorn
28 Mar 2019, 03:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Psalmic lines: "I am with you always"
Replies: 2
Views: 1083

Re: Psalmic lines: "I am with you always"

I agree with everything Bob has suggested, Michael.

I love the last stanza too.

Eira
by capricorn
28 Mar 2019, 03:41
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: M&M's [edit 1]
Replies: 4
Views: 1235

Re: M&M's

Oh yummy! You know just how to make my mouth water. Beautiful images in this.

I agree with everything Bob has suggested.

Eira
by capricorn
28 Mar 2019, 03:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Harbinger
Replies: 12
Views: 2120

Re: Harbinger

I can so relate to this, Bob. I like the way you've split it into stanzas and especially the ending

my body longs only to nap,
to become a stone, settling
in a sun-lit creek, the lullaby
of water enveloping me.

Lovely!

Eira
by capricorn
28 Mar 2019, 03:06
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Christmas Cactus
Replies: 4
Views: 1391

Re: Christmas Cactus

Billy wrote:
18 Mar 2019, 17:07
very good poem with a nicely understated message.
Thanks Billy
by capricorn
28 Mar 2019, 03:04
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Christmas Cactus
Replies: 4
Views: 1391

Re: Christmas Cactus

Belated Congrats, Eira Not surprised it was published I like how the plant parallels the person And I like the finale, which is without end I have always felt Spring to be the fulfillment of the Christmas promise "It is done" Music-video to celebrate - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=98LaApCB4l8 😎 Mi...

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