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The Big Shot Haydn sits primly on the side, never a hair out of place on his powdered wig. Everyone admires the Master. The old man takes to flattery like a horse to a bucket of oats! That is why he wants me to sign my scores "Ludwig, Pupil of Haydn" ....I refuse! How often has he cut our lessons sh...

I like your edits, Billy

I love this poem. Maybe it’s partly because it’s nostalgic for me. But, also, it’s cause I love the N’s voice. And I wholeheartedly agree with that last line. Another good one, Billy

Thx

Thanks for commenting.

Thanks for the comment. To me it isn’t clear that it is satire. Perhaps it will be to others. Nevertheless, good flow and metrics.

The Reader Sitting in the passenger's bucket seat
 with her brown ringlets of hair
 like Elizabeth Browning
 she bent over a book. We pulled up to the drive-thru. "You want a shake or soda?
" She shook off my question. "Do you like music?"  I asked,
 straining like a man at his oars,
 the waves kick...

No, I didn’t read it as mocking transgender people. Quite the opposite.

Didn’t you say that you were gay? If so, why would you mock someone who is transgender?

Very nice! I love the warmth, humor and humanity of this. Lovely flow and sonics as well. The metrics are good. Your best piece so far.

Was that a pink bow I saw in their scraggly beard?
If I see them again, I’ll give them the hug
I should have given them the first time.

Yes. And maybe say or hint why the bear girl intrigues the N. Something that tells us about the N’s character? Maybe describe her clothes, which show her love for India’s culture? Maybe her sense of value, her loss at having something personal stolen from her in the past? I’m just thinking off the t...

Love the last 3 lines….

Do you need a comma after “locals”?

Knowing more about the N might make the poem more enjoyable.

Better. It works.

Thank you, Billy. I appreciate it.

The sense of numbing, brutal cold really comes through here. I admire your wide range of topics. Winter is handled by other poets so differently. Damn good poem.

Congrats!

Thanks, Caleb

Nicely done. Just a nit… you don’t need “for me” in the next to last line. And I’m with Billy… the last line seems off, for some reason…I can’t tell you why. Otherwise everything works well.

Great slice of life…. Brings back the nostalgia of my youth….

You misunderstood. You’re welcome to post about publications. I sometimes post. Ieuan does as well.

Tweaked, since this poem didn't receive any comments....thx for any input

I have revised the poem, Michael. Thx again for your help.

If you want to, of course. Go to Writer’s Block - Where the Poets Hang, click on New Topic and post your announcement.

Thanks for the explanation

Good poem! It’s different and it never crosses the line of either melodrama or self pity.

I like the ending, but why Millay? Wikipedia just told me she died falling down a staircase after suffering a heart attack.

I like your suggestions, Michael. I will revise accordingly.