New York Pitch Conference Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, and Poetry Forums

Thanks for the nom, Bob. I can accept.

I second Siva's 'Paperfall' and nominate Bob's 'Laika' and Bob's 'Man on the Moon'(can't chose between them )

Eira

KolaKubes wrote: ↑

17 Feb 2020, 16:34

The soundtrack goes so well with the poem. It's like it was meant to be.

Thank you KolaKubes and welcome to Writers Block. I have added a few more songs to the poem, hoping they go well too.
I hope you may post one of your poems soon - look forward to it.

Eira

Thanks for sharing that Michael.
Eira

Thanks for your suggestions, Bob. I've made some changes.

Eira

Thumbs up to discovered at the end - share would have a different intent.
Eira

I just found the original of this under a different name. It was a very detailed poem but I've included some of the details in this version as I felt it needed filling out a bit.

Bob has given some great suggestions here, Siva. I look forward to your revision. I like this very much.

Eira

SivaRamanathan wrote: ↑

02 Feb 2020, 20:43

Eira

I seconded.I thought it was understood. Wish you all the best.Though I did not comment I have been following your revisions,which is a good exercise.

Siva

No problem Siva - I just didn't want to break any rules

Eira

As a dog lover I was very moved by this, Bob. I'm surprised I hadn't given the situation more thought before. As humans we have a choice in what we do, but not so animals. The only suggestion I can make is 'my heart shaking '. Is this the right description? On feeling apprehensive I would think a he...

This hasn't been seconded but Bob said I should post it here - so here goes! Eira Needham presentideaseira@hotmail.com My original and unpublished work, not representing any other board. The Nestling Hunched over the breathless body tumbled from its sycamore cradle, her mind takes flight. He arrived...

BobBradshaw wrote: ↑

01 Feb 2020, 22:53

Eira, you need to post this on the nomination page for ibpc

Thanks Bob, I didn't realise it had been seconded

Thanks Bob

I second Siva's 'Black as the coal workers and nominate Bob's 'Sleeping on a Roof'

Eira'

I'd like to nominate this one, Bob, unless there is another you'd prefer to go.

Eira

Eira, let me know whether you would like this poem or the Christmas poem nominated.... Thanks Bob. My Christmas poem went in November (although it has been revised recently) I think I'll hold onto it and send it off somewhere nearer next Xmas. This poem would be better. I have been looking at it ag...

BobBradshaw wrote: ↑

26 Jan 2020, 10:22

I like the metaphor. This poignant and unusual story works....nit: I don't know if you need entwined and wrapped both.

Good catch, Bob, I have rearranged those 2 stanzas which seems to help.

Eira

Perfect!

I couldn't resist another revision

The Nestling (revision 2) Hunched over the breathless body tumbled from its sycamore cradle, her mind takes flight. He arrived quietly, entwined. Voices hushed, they rushed him away in a hospital blanket. One glimpse no caress no goodbye The attic keeps her secret for forty years, a white shawl fold...

Great revision, Siva and a fascinating poem.

I love 'the rain coughed' - such a good description.

'I saw my tiny grandchild praying to the iron box.' makes the poem so personal.

Good ending.
Eira

Hi Bob, Brilliant poem - unusual topic. I feel it might need a little trim in parts - a few suggestions below (only if they suit your intentions.) She brought me home from a reading, saying no poet should sleep so rough then [she] trimmed my long hair, [her] scissors striding expertly. Personally, ...

Thanks Bob!

Thanks Bob & Michael. This is my unpublished poem; my email is presentideaseira@hotmail.com. I am not representing any other forum. Escape from routine Rhythmically humming, the washer tumbles dolphin towels with multicoloured swimwear. On top, a plastic pail of gulfweed gathered for grandma’s achin...

Bob's 'Coming Back' and Siva's 'Marakuli'. I am still considering a third.

Eira

Hi Bob, I'm never too clever with titles. If you keep the present one, then a question mark at the end. Is There A Chicken Soup That Can Save Me? Now you mention it, I think st 1&2 could be deleted - stanza 2 certainly could. I still like St 1, but this could be trimmed back to I have become a strip...

Well done, Bob -Kenneth too!

Eira