Search found 2683 matches

by BobBradshaw
15 Dec 2017, 23:15
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Painter Goes to Work
Replies: 4
Views: 8179

Re: The Painter Goes to Work

Thanks, Bernie. Your suggestion about weighted is right on. I will use your
‘packed’. You’re such a help...appreciate it...Bob
by BobBradshaw
15 Dec 2017, 07:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Painter Goes to Work
Replies: 4
Views: 8179

The Painter Goes to Work

The Painter Goes to Work It was intolerable to think of Theo delaying his marriage, short on money. Where were his paintings destined for? Exhibitions in Paris? Brussels? No, for Theo's crowded apartment. Where would Theo and Jo put a cradle? Perhaps it would be best for Theo if he gave up painting....
by BobBradshaw
15 Dec 2017, 04:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Unfinished Sketch
Replies: 6
Views: 11071

Re: Unfinished Sketch

I see these stories told by 3 different speakers. There is more impact for me if I read them as 3 separate poems. By far the last one has more punch, and is so contemporary in its subject matter. The language is scintillating, the lines all bound beautifully together. I would publish it as is. The m...
by BobBradshaw
15 Dec 2017, 03:56
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ceramics
Replies: 8
Views: 13435

Re: Ceramics

Thanks, Ieuan, for thinking about this poem. But I don’t see the girl as having an ailment. If anything she has teenage angst, depression over probably a boy...teenagers can become non-communicative, withdrawing from their parents... but the mother is able to reestablish communication and rapport Wi...
by BobBradshaw
13 Dec 2017, 05:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ceramics
Replies: 8
Views: 13435

Re: Ceramics

I'm glad this piece worked....to some degree it's a different style for me....thx for the feedback...Bob
by BobBradshaw
13 Dec 2017, 05:06
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Public Library
Replies: 4
Views: 8028

Re: Public Library

Bernie, Kenneth, Michael -- many thanks!
by BobBradshaw
12 Dec 2017, 22:21
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ceramics
Replies: 8
Views: 13435

Ceramics

Ceramics I've watched you poring over ceramic books as intensely as you have over our daughter's diary when garrulous all her life she turned silent and as deaf as a trap door vanishing into her own world and yet you never doubted you could help her anymore than you doubted you could fix a shattered...
by BobBradshaw
12 Dec 2017, 22:19
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Heart With No Permanent Address
Replies: 10
Views: 18905

Re: Heart With No Permanent Address

This is lovely....I could quote every line....the tenderness of this poem is heartbreaking....
by BobBradshaw
12 Dec 2017, 22:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Love too Much
Replies: 5
Views: 8971

Re: Love too Much

I like Bernie's suggestions. Also, I very much like this line:

Her English falters,
moments hang like old curtains stripped of finery.
by BobBradshaw
09 Dec 2017, 21:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Ancient Moorings (Revision I)
Replies: 10
Views: 20029

Re: Ancient Moorings

I love the first 3 stanzas...it's so nice to work scent into a poem

Behind the farmhouse,
a smell of manure
from the corrals.

The buzz of blowflies
from the pig sty.

Scent of wild herbs from pastures.
Whiffs of ripening berries
from my mother’s orchard.
by BobBradshaw
09 Dec 2017, 01:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Death Of A Light Heavyweight
Replies: 8
Views: 13543

Re: Death Of A Light Heavyweight

Wow, this is gorgeous, Bernie....and what a world class ending...what a punch. It's a remarkable poem from top to bottom. I love these lines: The mahogany coffin of my father polished and smooth like his white shirt. His face closely shaven, unmarked. No sign of 175 fights in half-filled gyms. No ev...
by BobBradshaw
08 Dec 2017, 23:53
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Called Away
Replies: 7
Views: 14775

Re: Called Away

Kenneth expresses pretty much the way I feel. It's a lyrical, beautiful poem. The heart of the poem lies in the contrast of the first two stanzas. The third stanza is the punch delivered...and allows the poem to settle gracefully into the last stanza....
by BobBradshaw
08 Dec 2017, 23:48
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Public Library
Replies: 4
Views: 8028

Public Library

Public Library They're like passengers waiting all night for the next flight at SFO, slumped deep in chairs with books and magazines. Why aren't they home reading? Why pile up here with their coats and rucksacks? Do they live in tiny rooms that smell of urine and bleach? Is that why this well-lit ro...
by BobBradshaw
07 Dec 2017, 23:00
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Clipped Wings
Replies: 5
Views: 8706

Re: Clipped Wings

Thanks, Bernie....I owe any improvement to you....best
by BobBradshaw
07 Dec 2017, 10:10
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Clipped Wings
Replies: 5
Views: 8706

Re: Doppler

Bernie, I have unscrupulously taken advantage of your generous suggestions, 'borrowing' some of your lines. Who else is so generous with his ideas? Thank you.....Best, Bob
by BobBradshaw
07 Dec 2017, 02:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Clipped Wings
Replies: 5
Views: 8706

Re: Doppler

I agree. It's too awkward ...well, I'll think about a simpler approach. Your comments are very helpful. Best, Bob
by BobBradshaw
06 Dec 2017, 20:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Clipped Wings
Replies: 5
Views: 8706

Clipped Wings

newest version: Clipped Wings  I lead parallel lives:  by day  I’m as irreproachable  as a family bible clutched  to the chest of a young woman.  At night I’m restless, thinking   of you. I stare out windows lonely, my eyes turned in your direction. Work takes you like a migratory bird north and sou...
by BobBradshaw
05 Dec 2017, 10:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Half Moon Bay
Replies: 8
Views: 15789

Re: Half Moon Bay

Gracy, thank you for your warm sharing
Bernie, you always come up with lots of interesting options....often they're more entertaining than the piece itself....I really enjoy your writing(and comments)...best
by BobBradshaw
05 Dec 2017, 10:18
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Orang Asli
Replies: 10
Views: 18739

Re: Orang Asli

This is one of your better poems...I love how the narrative plays out....I like Gracy's suggestions....I'm not sure if I like the 'over indulgence' line...other than that I'm thrilled with it. Kudos
by BobBradshaw
03 Dec 2017, 01:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Kanchipuram Saree. (Revised)
Replies: 18
Views: 34758

Re: The Kanchipuram Saree. (Revised)

For example, I would get rid of the deliberations line...too prosy, and tighten the exuberance line; also, you don't need both...classicism and masterpiece...nail the details and usually the music follows

a classicism.

A masterpiece.
by BobBradshaw
03 Dec 2017, 01:08
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Kanchipuram Saree. (Revised)
Replies: 18
Views: 34758

Re: The Kanchipuram Saree. (Revised)

I like Frank's suggestions....and more tightening can be done in 'The weave...' stanza...since this poem has so much potential, and so much good writing already, we might as well customize its wear as much as possible....I'll drop back to look later....thx
by BobBradshaw
03 Dec 2017, 01:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Mozart on the Road
Replies: 6
Views: 10186

Re: Mozart on the Road

Meena, Bernie --thx ...so glad it works.
Frank, I'm glad you like the ending....wasn't sure it worked well enough
by BobBradshaw
03 Dec 2017, 01:02
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Half Moon Bay
Replies: 8
Views: 15789

Re: Half Moon Bay

Kenneth, thanks--
Frank, thx for the suggestions...I'll take you up on a couple...best
by BobBradshaw
02 Dec 2017, 22:14
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Half Moon Bay
Replies: 8
Views: 15789

Half Moon Bay

Half Moon Bay Dogs race to greet Sonny. They exchange deep throated barks of affection. Then they’re off-- running up the beach. They sprint short distances like a volleyball team back and forth. Or roll in dunes in a twisting pile like rugby players. Many people are determined never to be happy. Bu...
by BobBradshaw
02 Dec 2017, 22:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Geoprosco Log
Replies: 12
Views: 16763

Re: A Geoprosco Log

OH, this shortened version is so good! Really marvelous writing here...send it out. Good writing makes my day...thank you.