Search found 382 matches
- 27 May 2022, 23:41
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Tornado
- Replies: 2
- Views: 3062
Re: Tornado
Tornado A great read, Bob and I love the metaphors. I think it could be trimmed a bit in parts. A few thoughts - My friends’ warnings about her went over my head, .....................perhaps a bit cliche? like the crackling of tornado alerts over radio channels. She stormed in, my heart like a sma...
- 27 May 2022, 23:24
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Lone Star
- Replies: 3
- Views: 3488
Re: Lone Star
Made me smile
- 06 May 2022, 00:09
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Hi Dad (revision 3)
- Replies: 7
- Views: 5797
Re: Hi Dad
Thanks Ken, It's not really a letter, but an imagined conversation with a deceased Dad. Glad you liked it.
Eira
- 06 May 2022, 00:07
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Hi Dad (revision 3)
- Replies: 7
- Views: 5797
Re: Hi Dad
Hi Eira, I like the calm tone of this. My only nit... my mind’s askew, emotions frayed. You don't need both descriptions and frayed emotions is common. I like "mind's askew". Thanks Bob, I did wonder about that line. I quite like mind's askew (although I have used it before in another poem) I've re...
- 04 May 2022, 03:45
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Hi Dad (revision 3)
- Replies: 7
- Views: 5797
Hi Dad (revision 3)
Revision 3 Hi Dad, I hope you've settled in at your new place, the welcome mat unrolled by friendly folk. I miss our teatime chats, your fond embrace and even your barrage of knock-knock jokes. Come closer - lift my loneliness awhile, for Mam got worse and had to move today. The Willows Nursing Home...
- 04 May 2022, 03:40
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Poems that placed in the February IBPC 2022: Congrats, Siva, and Billy
- Replies: 5
- Views: 5451
Re: Poems that placed in the February IBPC 2022: Congrats, Siva, and Billy
Well done Billy and Siva - 2 well written pieces
- 04 May 2022, 02:18
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Compulsion
- Replies: 2
- Views: 3457
Re: Compulsion
Good theme, Meena, but I agree with Bob about 'midnight oil' and 'beseech'
Look forward to your revision
Eira
Look forward to your revision
Eira
- 04 May 2022, 02:13
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Sometimes There’s Nothing Else To Do
- Replies: 6
- Views: 6279
Re: Sometimes There’s Nothing Else To Do
I commented on this when it was Bergman. Yes, the ending is very much better. I do prefer the original formatting in stanzas (but that's just me)
Like Bob I love your imagery here
gauze of clouds
glows with the day's
remaining light
surrounded by
a tumor of black clouds
encroaching slowly,
Like Bob I love your imagery here
gauze of clouds
glows with the day's
remaining light
surrounded by
a tumor of black clouds
encroaching slowly,
- 04 May 2022, 01:53
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming May IBPC 2022:
- Replies: 15
- Views: 10665
Re: Upcoming May IBPC 2022:
I seem to have arrived late for the vote.
Thank you for the nom Billy, nice of you since I haven't been around much.
I love the 2 poems chosen to go through and now third Michael's the TGIGF reflection - a wonderful piece.
Eira
Thank you for the nom Billy, nice of you since I haven't been around much.
I love the 2 poems chosen to go through and now third Michael's the TGIGF reflection - a wonderful piece.
Eira
- 21 Apr 2022, 01:35
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Bergman
- Replies: 5
- Views: 4430
Re: Bergman
I think I get 'unwinding minds' but agree it is abstract.
There's much to like here, Billy and you create tremendous atmosphere
Bare branches of a dying
crabapple tree, black, tentacled
by hundreds of water sprouts.
and
a gauze of clouds glows
Eira
There's much to like here, Billy and you create tremendous atmosphere
Bare branches of a dying
crabapple tree, black, tentacled
by hundreds of water sprouts.
and
a gauze of clouds glows
Eira
- 21 Apr 2022, 01:13
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Disappearing
- Replies: 8
- Views: 6617
Re: Disappearing
Love this one, Bob, especially My arms sleeved in scratches. - so visual. The last stanza You were light as a wren, and releasing you felt as if I might set you aloft —where you would grow smaller and smaller till you too were no longer visible. I presume this refers to releasing the metaphoric wren...
- 20 Apr 2022, 23:51
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Breathless
- Replies: 4
- Views: 4294
Re: Breathless
Thanks Frank, Ken & Bob. It's good to have your comments.
Eira
Eira
- 20 Apr 2022, 23:48
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Postcard (new title for Escape from Routine plus revision)
- Replies: 9
- Views: 15021
Re: Postcard (new title for Escape from Routine plus revision)
Thanks Frank & Bob - it's good to be back
eira
eira
- 11 Apr 2022, 04:05
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Breathless
- Replies: 4
- Views: 4294
Breathless
Breathless At a Distance we amble around Perry Hall Park without your reassuring bumble hum. Grasslands ablaze with daffodils, magnolias explode, their petals confetti the pathways, we stomp to a slush. When roses unfurl, we still walk alone, praying you will be unlocked before sycamore wings spin d...
- 11 Apr 2022, 03:59
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Postcard (new title for Escape from Routine plus revision)
- Replies: 9
- Views: 15021
Re: Postcard (new title for Escape from Routine plus revision)
Although this poem seems ok, I just felt like looking at it again.
Eira
Eira
- 11 Apr 2022, 03:49
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: listing to the left
- Replies: 8
- Views: 6556
Re: listing to the left
Thanks Ken and Bob Having a difficult time writing. Not sure why I should keep writing. I’ve been losing motivation to write. It doesn’t feel so important any more. And there are so many other voices out there so much better. Don't stop writing Billy, you have a unique voice and I always enjoy your...
- 11 Apr 2022, 03:11
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Phone Of The Wind
- Replies: 9
- Views: 7421
Re: Phone Of The Wind
Interesting poem - very powerful. Billy's comment 'hearing is the last sense to go' got me thinking. It's probably me, Bob, but I keep reading the last line of this stanza the other way round I gaze through my bedroom window half expecting to see on the lawn a white shadow. 'a white shadow on the la...
- 11 Apr 2022, 03:01
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Cannoneer
- Replies: 4
- Views: 4173
Re: The Cannoneer
I agree with Bob, rejection clings, affecting us for ever.
Love the last stanza
Love the last stanza
- 28 Apr 2021, 23:06
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Circadian Disruption
- Replies: 6
- Views: 10154
- 28 Apr 2021, 23:04
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Circadian Disruption
- Replies: 6
- Views: 10154
Re: Circadian Disruption
This is just lovely. From the opening we know we're in the hands of someone who loves language...My one nit: "Daylight dwindles" isn't necessary. So great to have you back with us! stellar: maples disrobe bedraggled crimson in the shadows of a feeble sun. I love this observation... craving carbohyd...
- 28 Apr 2021, 22:59
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Circadian Disruption
- Replies: 6
- Views: 10154
Re: Circadian Disruption
Thanks Ken, I seem to write about this syndrome every year. Good to be back.Kenneth2816 wrote: ↑26 Apr 2021, 09:12I've read about this.. I know people who are depressed in winter from lack of sunlight, they say.
You chose a nice way to write about it.
Good to read you again.
- 26 Apr 2021, 01:36
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Circadian Disruption
- Replies: 6
- Views: 10154
Circadian Disruption
Circadian Disruption Maples disrobe bedraggled crimson in the shadows of a feeble sun. Hedgehogs rest beneath last season’s rumpled throw. I recline on my sofa, craving carbohydrates and sunbeams. Staggering to the window, I draw the drapes across perpetual twilight. Lethargy overwhelms as I slump d...
- 26 Apr 2021, 01:30
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: On Bended Knee
- Replies: 3
- Views: 6323
Re: On Bended Knee
This held my attention from beginning to end. Well pruned Bob.
Eira
Eira
- 26 Apr 2021, 01:26
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Now I Lay Me
- Replies: 2
- Views: 5448
Re: Now I Lay Me
This took me back to childhood, Ken, when my grandmother used to say this prayer with me at bedtime. Your poem has given a new slant to saying any prayer - with eyes shut. Always good to read you. Eira As a child I was taught to pray on knees at bed time through folded hands, head bowed at the table...
- 05 Mar 2020, 03:11
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:
- Replies: 9
- Views: 22658
Re: Upcoming March IBPC 2020:
Thanks Michael Eira Needham presentideaseira@hotmail.com This is my original, unpublished work, not representing any other forum. Found You Again on Facebook That college disco, the group sang Let’s Dance . A feather-touch on my shoulder and husky whisper ‘Dance with me?’ He was a sandy haired Paul ...