Search found 2692 matches
- 18 Jun 2020, 07:16
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Beethoven Unhappy
- Replies: 7
- Views: 14334
Re: Beethoven Unhappy
I’ve shortened the poem to give it a better flow.
- 17 Jun 2020, 09:57
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Beethoven Unhappy
- Replies: 7
- Views: 14334
Re: Beethoven Unhappy
Thx for commenting but I don’t understand your gist. Could you elaborate?
- 16 Jun 2020, 09:32
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Beethoven Unhappy
- Replies: 7
- Views: 14334
Beethoven Unhappy
V2: Beethoven Unhappy To view the trees across from his apartment, Uncle hired a stonemason to knock a hole in a wall. The landlord, enraged, demanded Uncle move. He couldn't satisfy critics anymore than landlords. " Why can’t you compose more like Haydn-- or Mozart ?" His orchestras were unhappy, a...
- 16 Jun 2020, 09:30
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Newly Wed Start Their Marriage At The House Of The Groom's Parents
- Replies: 6
- Views: 11255
Re: Newly Wed Start Their Marriage At The House Of The Groom's Parents
I like all of it except for this line. I guess my suggestion wasn't a good one. At any rate, "room" should be plural...and my question...are these two rooms referring to the bathrooms?
but an attached bathroom
is as if marriage revolved only in these two room
but an attached bathroom
is as if marriage revolved only in these two room
- 14 Jun 2020, 00:14
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Heated Glass
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7771
Re: Heated Glass
Thx, Siva. Your comments are helpful
- 13 Jun 2020, 08:09
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Newly Wed Start Their Marriage At The House Of The Groom's Parents
- Replies: 6
- Views: 11255
Re: Newly Wed Start Their Marriage At The House Of The Groom's Parents
Good descriptions. Overall a good poem. A couple suggestions: 1) nose lift s/b face lift 2) but an attached bathroom as if marriage revolved only in these two room sounds a bit off...should it be but an attached bathroom is as if marriage revolves only in these two rooms and for this line and the ro...
- 09 Jun 2020, 07:50
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Grandma in a Bullet Train
- Replies: 2
- Views: 6661
Re: Granda Travels in a Bullet Train
Enjoyed the charming lines about the tricycle, and more. Just a couple small suggestions: 1) change “with the driver” to “and the driver” 2) place a comma after “hair” 3) be more efficient with this line... she was over excited, and she narrated how a tricycle e.g., Grandma excitedly told how a tric...
- 09 Jun 2020, 07:39
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Heated Glass
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7771
Heated Glass
v2: Heated Glass You vanished into your own world--suddenly deaf to my pleas, as if you’d dropped through a trap door. Yet I hoped our marriage, like the glass leaf that once fell from our highest shelf, could be restored. I was prepared to work at it. Shattered glass should never be tossed. In the ...
- 08 Jun 2020, 07:18
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Summer Unnoticed
- Replies: 2
- Views: 6712
Re: Summer Unnoticed
Good poem, Siva. No criticisms.. I enjoyed it all
- 06 Jun 2020, 23:29
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Walking Home After School
- Replies: 1
- Views: 5759
Re: Walking Home After School
Very nice poem, Siva. I enjoyed it. There are some tweaks that I would suggest. 1) Make book plural 2) put a period after "gates" 3) then put a comma after sky, instead of a semicolon 4) put "past" before "the sight"
Best
Best
- 01 Jun 2020, 21:11
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming June IBPC 2020:
- Replies: 5
- Views: 12451
Re: Upcoming June IBPC 2020:
Thank you, Siva Bob Bradshaw bobbybradshw@yahoo.com The poem is my original and unpublished work and I don't have a poem committed to represent another board in the current IBPC. For Your Love From the stroller you lift your arms toward me as if you’re merely stretching after a long nap, but when Gr...
- 01 Jun 2020, 20:32
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming June IBPC 2020:
- Replies: 5
- Views: 12451
Re: Upcoming June IBPC 2020:
I nominate Siva's "Sunrise at...."
- 31 May 2020, 08:03
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Poems that placed in the April IBPC 2020 (Congrats Bob)
- Replies: 2
- Views: 8866
- 30 May 2020, 01:38
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: For Your Love
- Replies: 11
- Views: 18698
Re: For Your Love
Thx, Michael... enjoyed the link
- 29 May 2020, 22:09
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Kissing the Sky, Or Maybe the Sea
- Replies: 0
- Views: 8011
Kissing the Sky, Or Maybe the Sea
Kissing the Sky, Or Maybe the Sea Hendrix sang of kissing the sky. I prefer your kiss. Can clear or misty skies compete with your kiss? I cannot imagine kissing the sky. On my tiptoes, my mouth forever waiting... Unlike your kiss. Swinburne kissed the sea. Did it slam into him-- bent over-- knock hi...
- 26 May 2020, 05:36
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Ode to Olive Oil
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10534
Re: Ode to Olive Oil
Thx, Siva
- 25 May 2020, 01:29
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Ode to Olive Oil
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10534
Re: Ode to Olive Oil
Thanks, Ken
- 24 May 2020, 20:40
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Purple Cabbage
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10439
Re: The Purple Cabbage
I like the concept and writing. I just find the next to last stanza too convenient, too implausible to happen at just this moment. I would prefer something more subtle to put off the murder...maybe news that her husband has just come from the doctor, her husband a man who doesn't cry but comes home ...
- 23 May 2020, 01:14
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Ode to Olive Oil
- Replies: 5
- Views: 10534
Ode to Olive Oil
Ode to Olive Oil We could be standing on the north side of the Acropolis under a cobalt sky, a twisted olive tree leaning towards us. It was here long before we moved in, with silvery grey leaves and feathery white flowers. Tonight we'll enjoy Bistecca alla Fiorentina and a salad enhanced with virgi...
- 23 May 2020, 01:10
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: For Your Love
- Replies: 11
- Views: 18698
Re: For Your Love
I think both do.
- 22 May 2020, 21:24
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Sunrise on the Cauvery at Pugalur
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7730
Re: Sunrise on the Cauvery at Pugalur
Very nice...your work has paid off well. Only minor touches are needed. nitpick: You need to change "over track" to "over the tracks". Maybe instead of "I thought", make it "I feared"? Also, 2 tmcft if sounded out would be very long...maybe "millions of cubic feet of water" or a more abstract descri...
- 22 May 2020, 21:17
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: For Your Love
- Replies: 11
- Views: 18698
Re: For Your Love
It's to signal to attract the bachelors. Do fireflies experience anything like love? Who knows?
- 21 May 2020, 20:43
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: You Kissed Me
- Replies: 4
- Views: 8942
Re: You Kissed Me
tweaked again
- 20 May 2020, 06:17
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: You Kissed Me
- Replies: 4
- Views: 8942
Re: You Kissed Me
Revised opening stanza
- 18 May 2020, 20:40
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Her Heart was a Taxi Speeding Out of Town
- Replies: 1
- Views: 5462
Her Heart was a Taxi Speeding Out of Town
Her Heart was a Taxi Speeding Out of Town Inheriting a gold mine wasn't better than the day I met Janie. Even when we had no money we never squabbled-- Janie as upbeat as mid-summer. Yet overnight things changed... why? Beneath the surface a world of permafrost formed. What the hell ....Janie looked...