Search found 1983 matches

by FranktheFrank
15 Aug 2017, 11:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Francis Thompson
Replies: 7
Views: 12210

Re: Francis Thompson

creases of his palms. He scraped by [I have the same problem as Billy in reading this 2nd stanza. you need a comjunction to show contrast put a 'but' in there. selling matches--opium in grimy pockets to try [do you need 'grimy'? we get the gist] and keep warm. Exhausted, a failure, depression weighe...
by FranktheFrank
15 Aug 2017, 02:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Wild Beasts*
Replies: 14
Views: 20580

Re: Wild Beasts*

Monacans not Morocans :)
by FranktheFrank
14 Aug 2017, 11:01
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Wild Beasts*
Replies: 14
Views: 20580

Re: Wild Beasts*

I agree with Bob, you are on a liturgical roll long may it last, publish them and enjoy the freedom of expression. Rain cleans the casino windows [maybe: washes the sea salt from the . . . ] bright as a yellow tiger. The night [would yellow stiped tiger work?] quiet as a purse thief. [could you use,...
by FranktheFrank
12 Aug 2017, 13:55
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Gospel For Sons 13 and Over
Replies: 5
Views: 11577

Re: Gospel For Sons 13 and Over

Blasphemous.

If it was against Muslims they would send you a fatma by mail,

their daggers later.

Why to those in the West trample holiness in the dirt like swine.

If you want to write a sexual poem, why bring the Lord into it.
by FranktheFrank
12 Aug 2017, 13:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Carpenters Son
Replies: 7
Views: 14286

Re: The Carpenters Son

Suggestions for you to think about in rearranging this is a practical down to earth poem, poems like this I love. I love to roll in the wood shaving, immerse my myself in the smell of pinewood forests and resin seeping from the bark. I love the machines that cut and plane, that sliced shaving from t...
by FranktheFrank
11 Aug 2017, 00:07
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Drilling Crew at Rest
Replies: 3
Views: 9113

Re: Drilling Crew at Rest

Not a bad poem, needs pruning maybe. Tight, grouped around a stove Legs akimbo, sprawled, resting on a carpeted table sipping genever, sugar stirred in with a silver spoon. The pot-belly emitts a splutter, a flame wanders out of a crevice, a crack in the iron flutters like an angel's wing. Maastenbr...
by FranktheFrank
10 Aug 2017, 12:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: These Can Happen
Replies: 14
Views: 21366

Re: These Can Happen

Schooling and shoaling is a kind of collective animal behaviour
by fish. Any group of fish that stay together for social reasons
is said to be shoaling, and if the shoal is swimming
in the same direction together, it is schooling.

Nice poem.
by FranktheFrank
09 Aug 2017, 12:30
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Moonlit Orinthologist
Replies: 20
Views: 29309

Re: Moonlit Orinthologist

Hi Bernie, I am posting poems, but I am in retreat, working hard writing theology and stuff. I am limited to one poem a month at the moment, thank you for noticing. I am enjoying your work, and the rest of the gang, I do believe this is turning into a proper forum of prodigious proportions. regards
by FranktheFrank
08 Aug 2017, 22:22
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Moonlit Orinthologist
Replies: 20
Views: 29309

Re: Moonlit Orinthologist

Let me look at Bernie's very fine poem, is he trying to catch the mood of Sarah's poem, maybe. Yes, a dramatic opening, very good, something we are familiar with in the West, not that India doesn't have banisters. B. introduces the dance hall here in S1., and sweetens it in S3. I love the voice soun...
by FranktheFrank
06 Aug 2017, 13:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Creation Sustains
Replies: 11
Views: 15771

Re: Creation Sustains

The last stanza
a vast improvement
to the original.
by FranktheFrank
05 Aug 2017, 04:11
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Bright and Sunny Day
Replies: 7
Views: 12700

Re: Peanut Shaped Destroyer

Thanks Bob
trouble is its so long,
I guess some stories can't be short.
by FranktheFrank
04 Aug 2017, 03:34
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Why We Do Not Return
Replies: 7
Views: 13474

Re: Why We Do Not Return

A large audience for street theatre. The lead actor in a coat of many colours. He weaves a story in Tamil, I can't quite follow his thread. My family intolerent of my whim glare, I stop watching, move further on from the flourecent lights, into the dark. I ponder on such delights. My driver says it'...
by FranktheFrank
03 Aug 2017, 11:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Bright and Sunny Day
Replies: 7
Views: 12700

Re: Peanut Shaped Destroyer

Ah Bernie, you live and breathe poetry, every trembling breath of you, it's life and death to you, on your dying bed you will whisper and the nurse will put her ear to your mouth and you will utter the greatest line the world has ever known. I know these things. Your back in form, thet shattered leg...
by FranktheFrank
02 Aug 2017, 21:41
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Bright and Sunny Day
Replies: 7
Views: 12700

Re: Peanut Shaped Destroyer

Thanks Bob,
Good point,
but a tall order for me, I will try.
by FranktheFrank
02 Aug 2017, 03:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: A Bright and Sunny Day
Replies: 7
Views: 12700

A Bright and Sunny Day

“ . . . I think the world will come to an end amid the general applause from all the wits who believe that it is a joke.” Søren Kierkegaard It rotates somnolently in its four hour cycle, a mile long, black and dusty, weighing in at seventy thousand million tons, it leaves a trail of ice particles b...
by FranktheFrank
27 Jul 2017, 15:49
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming July IBPC 2017:
Replies: 11
Views: 21175

Re: Upcoming July IBPC 2017:

Michael,
would it be possible to indicate what poems have gone through to the IBPC each month?
by FranktheFrank
27 Jul 2017, 15:47
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Monarch Butterflies
Replies: 5
Views: 10057

Re: Monarch Butterflies

I like this Bob. you've had some good crits. Monarch Butterflies (cut butterfly, too much of a clue?) Each year love sometimes seems as remote as any oyamel forest. [maybe: as far off as the sacred firs] Much like these legendary lovers, [are they legendary, another word perhaps, pollinating lovers]...
by FranktheFrank
24 Jul 2017, 13:25
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Air India
Replies: 10
Views: 16051

Re: Air India

A prolific time for you these past two months, glad you got the bug to write again. So good to see you well and happy, writing is your game. L3 vicissitudes (a change of circumstances or fortune typically one that is unpleasant or unwelcome) As you are using a name I feel bridge should be in capital...
by FranktheFrank
16 Jul 2017, 14:27
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Agostina Segatoria Sitting in the Cafe du Tambourin
Replies: 7
Views: 13112

Re: Agostina Segatoria Sitting in the Cafe du Tambourin

I like the new version Bob, Bernie has drawn more colour from the frame. Maybe the title could shorten to: Cafe du Tambourin. Sitting with my coffee I fell in love with Agostina, the owner. I traded sketches of flowers for meals, Maybe: Sitting with my demitasse I fell for Agostina's rich aroma as s...
by FranktheFrank
13 Jul 2017, 15:14
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Upcoming June IBPC 2017
Replies: 14
Views: 27547

Spammer Daily Journal

The Forum is now listed in Spammer Times
a
by FranktheFrank
11 Jul 2017, 22:13
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Rain Like Pizarro In Peru
Replies: 7
Views: 12803

Re: Rain Like Pizarro In Peru

I like it, the second version, you bring your old way of writing yet it is different somehow, more like my own. I liked how you introduced the British garden. I am impressed with how you developed the poem, the first version so succinct but some poems we like so much we want it to run into prose. I ...
by FranktheFrank
11 Jul 2017, 00:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Essay in Monochrome
Replies: 3
Views: 7895

Re: Essay in Monochrome

Thanks Bob and Bernie,

This is basically ekphrastic.
by FranktheFrank
11 Jul 2017, 00:33
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Carparthian Break
Replies: 2
Views: 6271

Re: Carparthian Break

Again, a new name has dragged this up from the depths,
I only workshopped it out of courtesy to you.

Thanks for the input.
by FranktheFrank
11 Jul 2017, 00:31
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Killing them Softly (2012)
Replies: 17
Views: 29812

Re: Killing them Softly (2012)

Bob, thanks for feedback.

Some new names are dragging up very old poems.
This one represented this forum some months ago without a result.

But thank you anyway for the time put in.