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Yes, I thought the last stanza particularly enlightening.

Seepages in the cold of winter chapped thighs from an unconscious drip We walk to school in the rain Miss Jones is pretty she makes us change by the radiators we are not willing the girls should see our legs She issues platitudes fusses round us boys her breasts move beneath her blouse Nothing stirs...

Enjoy Siva, best wishes.

Ken
We are a bit vague on the process of nominating,
maybe best if you put the nom in the Palaver thread.

Yes, a beautiful poem, but then Benjamin was a master was he not.

Gracy, let me start by saying Welcome to Writer's Block workshop it is so nice to see you, and well done with your two successive H.M.'s, you fully deserved them. It seems a like a love story, the ending suggests this. You detail the dryness of the country very well, maybe too well, maybe over the t...

Siva Why not cut to the core now that this poem is almost ready it might focus the reader more on this sad but vivid tale. Partially built flats in the distance stand out like ships. I pause, not really wanting to climb construction ladders. I wait until completed. Amma's room, splayed with sunlight...

A poem that portends the coming of death. Depressing, the dog howls as if his master is already in the grave. These death poems of yours are not helping me Billy. :) [Wow Gracy has graced us by joining, welcome Gracy, so nice to see you here hope you settle in and flourish. Why not bring Eira with y...

Yes, some good points there Bob, thank you

I am not sensitive enough to cutting over-sentimentality.

Title sets the date and place but i'd like to know if you are courting in summer We ran like suicides against the ocean [not keen on suicides, maybe maniacs, happy maniacs perhaps] and the sea threw us back pearly wet. [pearly wet is good] Half drunk on waves, salt threaded [yes we get drunk on the ...

I have made a small revision to this based on your
marvellous replies, thank you all.

Thanks for the frank reply Ken

So best wishes and I hope you don't wait 5 years before posting again.

Buy your lips or by your lips. The Ganges ends in Calcutta (now Kolkata), or part of it does, I do so prefer Calcutta. Suggest our pal visits Calcutta if he spies or alludes to spying on women washing in the Ganges. Nothing is worthless in India, the citizens will always survive where where we west...

I think there is a poem in there, it's just so over the top a long catalogue of violence with no let up, I don't see the honeymoon period at all. The Prince of the air - the devil could be dropped - he's not needed here I think if you cut back really hard to bare bones, dropped a couple of stanzas t...

Interesting blue, unfortunately I don't do anything but write I wonder if you write poetry too, that would go in the Writer's Block section if you do, welcome to the forum, I hope you stick around. I see you are a member of Babilu as well as Mosaic Musings, well there nothing wrong in spreading ones...

Bob I learned a new word, the fear of growing old and normally one would associated this word to people in their 50's or 60' by 70 we are old and have come to terms with impending death. Full marks for writing about the fears of youth, moving into an unknown world with new challenges, new obstacle, ...

Ahh, Okay I got you,
I just sent of five to the North Oxford site and listed the ones that won IBPC placings.

I like your poetry, fine to me, excellent.

Bernie This forum has come alive lately splendid. I really enjoyed that work of Sarah Stoat, so funny, so interesting. Ken Thanks again, now that you mention Prairie Schooner and Cortland Review. Prairie Schooner wants poems of a minimum 50 pages long and charges $25.00 they are open between Januar...

removed

Thanks Ken for your generous remarks
and for the nom. You have been on this forum
for years I believe but only started posting recently.
I think there was one post from you about 5 years ago.

I dig Bernie, the wheels in my head rolling,
how many words before its a different poem?

If it's not picked or doesn't win anything in the IBPC
then I will send it out to the New Welsh Review, I promise.

For me it's a matter of confidence Bernie, I think it's about ready, but waiting a year for these website to approve is tiresome, and how am I expected to keep track of what and when. I like Christine Klocek-Lim's approach no fuss, no bio, no covering letter, no picture just an email not even a reje...

I have revised, taken up some of Bernie's suggestions.