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Dale, I'd cut Wal Mart. Total cliche.

Otherwise nice revisions

I like the inclusion of Alice characters, lends a Victorian feel.

Nicely handled. Not soppy or pontifical

Excellent
I've read the letters.

"an island you purged from your map"

Agree Billy.

Deleted

Lol I meant to say first nuke

Yeah Dale. Good social commentary.
"think about when life begins"

I think it an excellent close

Nice study Billy. The dichotomy.

Agree with all the above. The quote at the end is made famous after Oppenheimer said it when the first bike was exploded

Thank you Billy. Good to see you here

True. I hung around with a major 1% club for two years. Right out of central casting

Thank you, Eira

Best of luck to the Block

Once was a question We never asked. It was a job needed doing. There was a war on. We worked at night to better see the dials and watch face,tipped camel hair to our lips to make a fine point. Painted luminescent hands and Roman numerals on altimeters, tipped iron gunsights, color of old moonlight. ...

The Penitent Water from the blowhole  falls like a tepid rain. The great unblinking eye, the lateral roll, scissoring of its jaw and I am his. Arch of rib and vertebrae, icthyian cathedral, massive heart like a hammer, I can hear blood rush, the billow of lungs expand when it rises to the surface. I...

If it's not too late, I accept for The Penitent if give the choice

Eira this is poignant. There are many good lines and it is a triumphant poem

Some very good lines Bob. I like that it is not humorous, but instead a well thought persona poem.

The pathos makes the piece, humanizing the monsters.

It's unique, fresh and compelling.
As a child, I recall feeling sorry for them

Got it.

Thanks guys. I already tweaked it a little

Not to beat a dead horse. Part of the fun in a forum is when poets write "response" poems, or like the several Camille poems. I think as long as it remains in the forum all is well. My original is pending acceptance or rejection as of now, was nominated and declined on another forum because of that....

Thanks for the nod guys. I'm sitting this month out. In all candor, I can't compete against a poem written by another that represents a majority of my own work. It is a matter of my own integrity and nothing else.

Best of luck to all

When I was five I had lazy-eye, a stammer and a Texaco Star pedal powered firetruck, with wooden ladder and a bell. My best friend lived at the end of our block. She had a disease that made her skin look like old Chinese paper, an origami Koi with discolored scales. She wasn't allowed to have compan...

Last stanza works