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by BobBradshaw
13 Jan 2024, 00:35
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: International Astronomical Union - Language to Inflame Politically Sensitive - Hand Wringers - Woke
Replies: 6
Views: 1288

Re: International Astronomical Union - Language to Inflame Politically Sensitive - Hand Wringers - Woke

This is clever and fun. However, it works best as an outline for a parody poem, the details needing to be filled in. I’m surprised you recall the old astronauts poem.
By the way, I enjoyed your parody in the Nutritionist stream. Your sense of humor is delicious.
by BobBradshaw
12 Jan 2024, 22:39
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: A Poem from Simon
Replies: 2
Views: 1134

Re: A Poem from Simon

I don’t know this poet’s work, but this piece is pretty ragged. The Robert Lowell stanza is poorly written. Why did you post this? And why did you call it an excellent poem? Just curious
by BobBradshaw
12 Jan 2024, 22:30
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nutritionist
Replies: 21
Views: 2699

Re: The Nutritionist

Ha! There are some very odd things being said in this stream, but the oddest is someone not liking Keats! The mysteries of life….lol
by BobBradshaw
12 Jan 2024, 22:09
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: In Love with a Woman in her Later Years
Replies: 14
Views: 8915

Re: In Love with a Woman in her Later Years

I hope Bernie is back among us!

Sorry, I seem to have missed your poem…
by BobBradshaw
11 Jan 2024, 07:37
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nutritionist
Replies: 21
Views: 2699

Re: The Nutritionist

Advice....Never fill a line just for the sake of filling it.... Whatever goes there has to have a compelling reason to be there... A short line is much better than one with filler.

Are you counting feet? Or something else? Just curious...
by BobBradshaw
11 Jan 2024, 06:46
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nutritionist
Replies: 21
Views: 2699

Re: The Nutritionist

I would take out the "(of course)". It isn't needed. That's my only nit. It's a good poem to send out.
by BobBradshaw
11 Jan 2024, 05:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Nutritionist
Replies: 21
Views: 2699

Re: The Nutritionist

I am delighted by this poem.
by BobBradshaw
10 Jan 2024, 22:50
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Death of an Armed Guard (version 2)
Replies: 20
Views: 4478

Re: Death of an Armed Guard (version 2)

“Show, don’t tell” isn’t a rule. It’s a general guideline meant to be helpful. There are no rules here. You can just ignore that guideline. As Ieuan said, this is a critique forum. If you don’t want constructive criticism, write “No critique” in each post’s heading. There are many fine poems written...
by BobBradshaw
10 Jan 2024, 07:45
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Death of an Armed Guard (version 2)
Replies: 20
Views: 4478

Re: Death of an Armed Guard (version 2)

“Birches” is filled with outstanding imagery. The imagery complements what commentary there is brilliantly. Without the details and similes no one would remember this poem. Commenting on something via imagery is another form of “showing”, instead of telling. “Show, not tell” is what this forum advis...
by BobBradshaw
09 Jan 2024, 22:12
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Death of an Armed Guard (version 2)
Replies: 20
Views: 4478

Re: Death of an Armed Guard (version 2)

The ending is better. I won’t repeat my earlier comments. We can agree to disagree about what makes a good poem.
by BobBradshaw
09 Jan 2024, 04:16
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The New Year's Fish
Replies: 5
Views: 1671

Re: The New Year's Fish

Thanks, Billy
by BobBradshaw
09 Jan 2024, 04:15
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Pilot Whale
Replies: 5
Views: 1463

Re: The Pilot Whale

Thanks, Ieuan. Climate change and the disasters it’s causing are scary.
by BobBradshaw
08 Jan 2024, 21:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Pilot Whale
Replies: 5
Views: 1463

Re: The Pilot Whale

No, it’s about a beached pilot whale.
by BobBradshaw
08 Jan 2024, 21:57
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The New Year's Fish
Replies: 5
Views: 1671

Re: The New Year's Fish

Thanks for commenting
by BobBradshaw
08 Jan 2024, 03:38
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The Pilot Whale
Replies: 5
Views: 1463

The Pilot Whale

The Pilot Whale I was on a beach that scraped the side of a wilderness. I grabbed her tail and yanked but it swung up like a play yard swing, an uppercut that sent me sprawling. She lay on her side the whole time I threw buckets of water onto her. Her jaw jostled. I've seen a dying stork, its bill o...
by BobBradshaw
07 Jan 2024, 22:02
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Sick Dog
Replies: 3
Views: 1205

Re: Sick Dog

I like these lines…. I like the playfulness here. Comedy is often the best way to talk seriously. A good way to write slant poetry. Chills, no fever unless the thermometer's lying. It's all a lie right now. I was grateful a half-a-day ago. Cough, cough, cough! Where's this going, back and forth betw...
by BobBradshaw
06 Jan 2024, 22:33
Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
Topic: Ieuan Published -AutumSkyPoetryDaily - In Love with Woman in her Later Years
Replies: 19
Views: 25955

Re: Ieuan - Published

Congratulations on your Christmas in Wales poem! It’s lush with beautiful writing.
by BobBradshaw
05 Jan 2024, 06:05
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: I Don't Give You Any Answers
Replies: 3
Views: 1613

Re: I Don't Give You Any Answers

You write well about tough subjects. Who could write those last lines better than you do? What power in just 4 words: “The cook won’t tell.”

Father in the basement with the salad girl.

The cook won't tell. No one needs to tell.
I've heard the puppy squealing all these years.
by BobBradshaw
05 Jan 2024, 06:01
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: The New Year's Fish
Replies: 5
Views: 1671

The New Year's Fish

The New Year's Fish As ice clinks in my glass of ice tea I look out on the Pacific. It's New Year's, and what's wrong with being optimistic? I'm like a fat man in a house of mirrors: No matter where I look I see myself as I'll be in the future, slimmed down, like a trout. My plate’s fish, his head a...
by BobBradshaw
03 Jan 2024, 07:39
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: My absence
Replies: 3
Views: 1401

Re: My absence

No worries. We often as individuals go for weeks or longer without participating. We all have lives away from workshopping....
by BobBradshaw
31 Dec 2023, 22:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Welsh Englyn Form in the English Language
Replies: 4
Views: 1115

Re: Welsh Englyn Form in the English Language

Indeed!! Happy New Year! Sweep out the bad spirits before you go to bed tonight …
by BobBradshaw
31 Dec 2023, 05:24
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: William Davenant.  Shakespeare Was More Than Godfather To Me
Replies: 6
Views: 1393

Re: William Davenant.  Shakespeare Was More Than Godfather To Me

It is better, thanks to your help. I can't think you enough....have a good New Year's Eve!
by BobBradshaw
31 Dec 2023, 02:36
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: William Davenant.  Shakespeare Was More Than Godfather To Me
Replies: 6
Views: 1393

Re: William Davenant.  Shakespeare Was More Than Godfather To Me

I like some of your suggestions….let me think about a revision
by BobBradshaw
31 Dec 2023, 01:44
Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
Topic: Drives and Driveways
Replies: 4
Views: 1067

Re: Drives and Driveways

Kudos for sticking with your project….