Search found 181 matches
- 31 May 2018, 20:00
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Bichop Michael Curry - London (2018)
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7373
Re: Michael - London (May 2018)
Hi Frank, I agree and would cut the Pilgrims Progress intro. I’m not sure who the Michael you refer to is.
- 10 May 2018, 01:04
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Poems that placed in the March IBPC 2018 (Congrats Bernie)
- Replies: 2
- Views: 9276
Re: Poems that placed in the March IBPC 2018 (Congrats Ber
Well done Bernie, great poem.
- 05 May 2018, 20:40
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Adjunct American Lit (final revision)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 19960
Re: Adjunct American Lit (final revision)
Thanks to all for your input. I have included many of your suggestions in the final revision.
- 04 May 2018, 03:25
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Goldenrod
- Replies: 3
- Views: 7118
Re: Goldenrod
I like the idea here, the title doing so much.
I would say,
They wave from the side of the road. Cut ‘at us’
Also perhaps- Pasadena float, instead of float in Pasadena.
I would say,
They wave from the side of the road. Cut ‘at us’
Also perhaps- Pasadena float, instead of float in Pasadena.
- 04 May 2018, 03:15
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Adjunct American Lit (final revision)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 19960
Re: Adjunct (revision)
Ok, closing in on this one.
- 03 May 2018, 00:36
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming May IBPC 2018:
- Replies: 13
- Views: 27146
Re: Upcoming May IBPC 2018:
I accept, thanks for the nom and second. Dale Patterson dalepatterson2666@gmail.com 1. My original work 2. Not representing any other forum 3. Unpublished 4. Hard copy follows Oklahoma Near old photographs of oil fields and dust bowl refugees a Rock-Ola jukebox plays Earnest Tubb. I’m drinking shots...
- 02 May 2018, 20:47
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Another Great Poem from President Trump-Pltclly insensitive)
- Replies: 9
- Views: 14813
Re: Another Great Poem from President Trump-Pltclly insensit
They are all telling me that they want to comment, but in reality you will have to subpoena them.
- 01 May 2018, 22:54
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Gentle Clapping Found Erased in a Wood - V3
- Replies: 11
- Views: 18417
Re: A30-Erased Clapping Found in a Wood
Great find Frank, nicely extracted.
- 30 Apr 2018, 15:40
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming May IBPC 2018:
- Replies: 13
- Views: 27146
Re: Upcoming May IBPC 2018:
Thanks Bob, I am honored you like it.
- 28 Apr 2018, 15:04
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Shelley's Heart
- Replies: 10
- Views: 16143
Re: Shelley's Heart
Great poem Bob, love the surreal twist in an otherwise normal story. I will give it a second for IBPC.
- 25 Apr 2018, 17:56
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Repair Man -removed 16 Jan 2024
- Replies: 4
- Views: 8406
Re: Fred and Joe Auto Repair Men
His voice percolates through from the dining room, reflects impatience, his frustration. I try to focus on my newspaper. He cries again to himself, 'I can't do it.' I wonder if percolate is the best description of a child’s voice? It makes me think coffee, old man. Perhaps drop the ‘his’ in front of...
- 25 Apr 2018, 15:28
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming May IBPC 2018:
- Replies: 13
- Views: 27146
Re: Upcoming May IBPC 2018:
I nominate Bernie’s ‘Alien Sedition’
- 25 Apr 2018, 15:27
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Alien Sedition
- Replies: 24
- Views: 33163
Re: Alien Sedition
My nom for the May IBPC.
- 25 Apr 2018, 15:15
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Adjunct American Lit (final revision)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 19960
Re: American Lit Adjunct
Thanks Bernie, I’m working to close the gaps between stanzas so the reader can make shorter leaps.
- 23 Apr 2018, 21:38
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Adjunct American Lit (final revision)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 19960
Adjunct American Lit (final revision)
Final Revision- I lecture from notes: the deep southern roots of Flannery O’Connor, religious suppression, unforgivable sin. Halfway through class a Nigerian girl, bold as Grace Jones, glosses her lips sign painter’s red, engages in discussion and insists that we all have free will. I find her attra...
- 23 Apr 2018, 21:37
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: South Florida Fashion Shoot
- Replies: 4
- Views: 9689
Re: South Florida Fashion Shoot
I like both versions, but perhaps because of my age I relate more to the second revision. In the earliest version I saw the narrator as possibly being involved or wanting involvement with the model. In the revision I see his desire but also his recognition that romance has disappeared in years. In b...
- 21 Apr 2018, 16:15
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: South Florida Fashion Shoot
- Replies: 4
- Views: 9689
Re: South China Morning Post Fashion Shoot
Bernie, once again, a great poem. The simplicity of s1 is wonderful, love the sailor pants. ‘clean and edible’ hmmm, I can see the image you want but im caught between oral sex and a washed vegetable. Each stanza is important and adds a new clue. S1- the main character and setting. S2- the wife. S3-...
- 21 Apr 2018, 00:51
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Spider Orchids
- Replies: 4
- Views: 8966
Re: Spider Orchids
Yes indeed, a lovely poem Bob. Here are a few possible edits- My favorite? A bloom from my childhood: the great plains white fringed orchid, her tresses of snowy flowers I would cut ‘I choose’ as its obvious what follows is his choice. unloosening evening perfumes for roaming male moths. Then there'...
- 19 Apr 2018, 18:49
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Another Great Poem from President Trump-Pltclly insensitive)
- Replies: 9
- Views: 14813
Re: Another Great Poem from President Trump-Pltclly insensit
Ha ha, I want to comment, but I’m shouldering the weight of an NDA.
- 18 Apr 2018, 23:48
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Oklahoma (revision)
- Replies: 10
- Views: 17611
Re: Oklahoma (revision)
Thanks for hanging in with me Frank, I always appreciate your input.
- 15 Apr 2018, 21:57
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Alien Sedition
- Replies: 24
- Views: 33163
Re: Alien Sedition
Bravo, hard work pays off. The ending far superior to those before.
- 15 Apr 2018, 16:25
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Oklahoma (revision)
- Replies: 10
- Views: 17611
Re: Oklahoma (revision)
Love those songs Bernie, when I was young I hated country western, loved rock and roll. It’s nice to be older and understand the connections and appreciate the directness. Thanks Bob, I made a few new and minor edits to cut some unneeded pronouns, other than that I’m happy, at least until the next t...
- 14 Apr 2018, 16:31
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: "Violin of Hope" (Holocaust Remembrance Day 2018)
- Replies: 2
- Views: 6210
Re: "Violin of Hope" (Holocaust Remembrance Day 2018)
Hi Michael, I enjoy these types of poems, the focus on word placement and visual presentation. The spacing here is spot on. I’m not sure I understand W hite, is this a person?
- 14 Apr 2018, 16:24
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Oklahoma (revision)
- Replies: 10
- Views: 17611
Re: Oklahoma (revision)
So right you all are. The jukebox stanza was the first thing I wrote and then the poem took a detour. I debated replacing it, but also liked it and stubbornly held on. It will go in the vault to reappear later.
- 13 Apr 2018, 23:52
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Alien Sedition
- Replies: 24
- Views: 33163
Re: Alien Sedition
I like water chestnuts, good choice. I was thinking he was wishing the bride was his, but in a bigger sense was wanting anyone to love so even the bridesmaids had appeal. Great story by the way.