New York Pitch Conference Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, and Poetry Forums

Lovely! Change "cuddles" to "curdles" and you're done...a nom for sure

Enjoyed....I would take out the final good-bye line

Lovely, warmhearted poem....I would end the poem on "paunch".

Thank you, Ken...appreciate a nom

A slight revision

Yes, it did... nice poem

Like the first 2 stanzas best...

Great subject!!!! I love the 2nd stanza best... needs to be tweaked for a better flow... my only criticism... many good stanzas here... really like how they’re working together towards the close

I echo the others... well done...especially liked “breath held until gasping”

Maybe a stretch, but quite enjoyable....brings back the days...sigh

MIchael, Siva -- thank you

Love the close! Fab last line

Terrific, hard hitting poem about a bleak environment. Great close...

Fabulous. One of your best

Nice one

I agree with Ken. Those first 3 stanzas are the heart and soul of the poem...they’re very nice

Thanks, Meenas

Billy, thank you... I might send it out... something to think about
Ken... glad you enjoyed it

V2: Algernon Charles Swinburne Lean like a flamingo, he boasted a cataract of red hair— but was just as famous for his drunken pratfalls, his poetry accused of being just as confused as he was when sloshing about a room spilling brandy or shrieking hysterically like a peacock. Yet he did have his fa...

Nicely done...love these lines: I think of the second, just out of court, update with phone calls, a check periodical nothing inf a taxation work goes fine. It is kind of having two spouses, each one in different countries, and with that I meet a third one, who turns irresistible. She is attractive ...

I agree with Meenas...like that Picasso image best.

Sounds a bit Bernie-esque. Excellent images... loved the first 2 stanzas...all although I don’t know the reference to the pesos and coconuts. I like how you are telling everything strictly through imagery. The change in tone from the 2nd to the 3rd stanza is jolting but at the same time exhilarating...

I agree with Ken... the Van Gogh image is good but not for this poem. Save it for something else. Love the telephone pole. Good poem... but agree the end needs a better punch line.

A good subject...but tightening would help...as in these 3 lines...too telling...give us the same impression in an image or two...make us feel his mediocrity, his sense of failure. So look to tighten wherever you can...and dramatize the last 2 lines...using an image....something like? "...debris, di...

A fascinating and intriguing poem....the lines are well written, but I think the poem needs a narrator who makes us feel his vulnerability, or if he isn't vulnerable, makes it clear why this place is so meaningful to him personally