Search found 382 matches
- 07 Jan 2019, 01:58
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Het Gele Huis
- Replies: 10
- Views: 18534
Re: Het Gele Huis
We all have our dreams, Frank. This is a lovely, dreamy poem. It sits under a permanent blue sky Perhaps a more precise shade of blue here with white cirrus clouds that remind one of pillowcased foam on the azure of the Aegean Sea. Lovely descriptions here At the sunny front are doors that lead to ...
- 07 Jan 2019, 01:44
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Muni
- Replies: 8
- Views: 13538
Re: Muni
A Fascinating poem, Meena! Vivid in memory Muni pinches me through the day, while in Kindergarten. A vivid memory indeed She has sharp nails, plunges them into the skin till my arm turns red. Excruciating. My eyes glisten with tears. Callous, shows her incisive nails with pride. Quieter I become. I...
- 03 Jan 2019, 03:03
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming January IBPC 2019:
- Replies: 15
- Views: 33886
Re: Upcoming January IBPC 2019:
I second Dale's Fusions, Siva's Appa Took me and Michael's Celebrating a 53rd Anniversary
Good luck!
Eira
Good luck!
Eira
- 24 Dec 2018, 01:09
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Running on the Spectrum (revised first 3 stanzas)
- Replies: 30
- Views: 49187
- 23 Dec 2018, 03:25
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Poems that placed in the October IBPC 2018 (Congrats Ken)
- Replies: 4
- Views: 14104
Re: Poems that placed in the October IBPC 2018 (Congrats Ken)
Well done, Ken - a well deserved 3rd place.
Eira
Eira
- 23 Dec 2018, 03:19
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Running on the Spectrum (revised first 3 stanzas)
- Replies: 30
- Views: 49187
- 23 Dec 2018, 03:17
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Running on the Spectrum (revised first 3 stanzas)
- Replies: 30
- Views: 49187
Re: Running on the Sprectrum (a new revision)
Hi Bob, Thank you for your inspirational thoughts on this. I have had a real 'block' revising, but your thoughts have given me lots to think on. Yes, the shorter lines are definitely better and I think one of my problems is that the way I've written it sounds a bit like a report. I doubt I'll revise...
- 23 Dec 2018, 03:06
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Running on the Spectrum (revised first 3 stanzas)
- Replies: 30
- Views: 49187
Re: Running on the Sprectrum (a new revision)
Hi Siva, I think I have a few revisions to go with this yetSivaRamanathan wrote: ↑19 Dec 2018, 05:32Read this. There are many words that are new to me,but I get the overall triumph of the poem.
Eira
- 23 Dec 2018, 03:03
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Renaming Constellations
- Replies: 9
- Views: 18380
Re: Renaming Constellations
Beautiful poem - great word choices. I absolutely love the last stanza.
Eira
Eira
- 23 Dec 2018, 02:58
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Fusions
- Replies: 6
- Views: 14196
Re: Fusions
I agree, there is tremendous atmosphere in this beautiful poem. I would only question whether you need 'And' at the beginning of Stanza 3 - but I am nit picking as I can find nothing to crit.
Eira
Eira
- 23 Dec 2018, 02:54
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Agaram Swamiji and some Amma Swamiji
- Replies: 17
- Views: 24598
Re: Agaram Swamiji and some Amma Swamiji
You have worked hard revising this Siva and with each revision I see great improvements - well done!
Eira
Eira
- 17 Dec 2018, 18:10
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Running on the Spectrum (revised first 3 stanzas)
- Replies: 30
- Views: 49187
Re: Running on the Sprectrum (a revision)
a makeover - not sure about it!
- 04 Dec 2018, 00:40
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming December IBPC 2018:
- Replies: 9
- Views: 23000
Re: Upcoming December IBPC 2018:
Thanks for the nomination, Bob. I have made many revisions on this so I hope it still meets with your approval. Here is my info, should it be chosen. My name: Eira Needham Email is: presentideaseira@hotmail.com This is my original poem and hasn't been published elsewhere This is my final revision In...
- 04 Dec 2018, 00:35
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming December IBPC 2018:
- Replies: 9
- Views: 23000
Re: Upcoming December IBPC 2018:
Thanks for the nomination, Bob. I have made many revisions on this so I hope it still meets with your approval. Here is my info, should it be chosen. My name: Eira Needham Email is: presentideaseira@hotmail.com This is my original poem and hasn't been published elsewhere This is my final revision In...
- 26 Nov 2018, 02:47
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Indian Summer -revision
- Replies: 5
- Views: 11026
Re: Indian Summer
Thanks Ken. I have decided to revise (reasons above in reply to Bob) Hope it works for you.
Eira
- 26 Nov 2018, 02:45
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Indian Summer -revision
- Replies: 5
- Views: 11026
Re: Indian Summer
I like this a lot...you capture the landscape well, and imaginatively Love the close: We waltz in a whirlwind of copper and lime foliage flurrying across baked terrain. East wind blasts a spangled rime - vaporizing into brume. Hi Bob I'm glad that you like this. I have revised this weekend. I felt ...
- 17 Nov 2018, 01:53
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Indian Summer -revision
- Replies: 5
- Views: 11026
Indian Summer -revision
Revision Indian Summer slips through the haze. Sudden breath on my cool face; the flush of warmth bewilders, swallows linger in brittle reeds. Shadows dance as light dwindles. Teasing sighs, a kiss before we tango with a flurry of lime and copper across appliqued lawns. East wind blasts, a spangled ...
- 17 Nov 2018, 01:33
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Wooden Hut - removed for Publication
- Replies: 6
- Views: 13295
Re: From his Wooden Hut - V3
You have a great story telling ability, Frank. This one is filed with beautiful imagery. I also love the local slang which makes this quite original. I feel I am in the poem as I read. So many lines to like. The lemon washed boathouse just drew me in.
Eira
Eira
- 15 Nov 2018, 17:54
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Ghost
- Replies: 7
- Views: 14233
Re: Ghost
I love this one Bob, especially the word play here:
when I got home, the rug
by the tub wet
as if you had just
stepped out.
Eira
when I got home, the rug
by the tub wet
as if you had just
stepped out.
Eira
- 15 Nov 2018, 17:21
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Yes, It is Diwali
- Replies: 4
- Views: 8943
Re: Yes, It is Diwali
I love your revision, Meenas. This is well written and held my interest all through. The ending is superb. I like a poem ending in a feeling of hope.
Eira
Eira
- 25 Oct 2018, 00:49
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Running on the Spectrum (revised first 3 stanzas)
- Replies: 30
- Views: 49187
Re: Running on the Sprectrum
Sorry I'm so late replying again, Bob. Thanks for this other suggestion - I think this is nearer the mark. I'll change the last line now.
Eira
- 17 Oct 2018, 00:45
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Running on the Spectrum (revised first 3 stanzas)
- Replies: 30
- Views: 49187
Re: Running on the Sprectrum
maybe replace the last line with something like this?.... a zebra nodding as she trots in I do quite like your suggestion, Bob, although it gets away from my intention. You see, when Jason heard everyone cheering him on he leapt up with excitement. Perhaps I can come up with something else. Thanks ...
- 16 Oct 2018, 16:39
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Running on the Spectrum (revised first 3 stanzas)
- Replies: 30
- Views: 49187
Re: Running on the Sprectrum
Sweet poem. I don't write very many sweet poems. Maybe one or two. It's hard to do and not be sappy. You've done a good job. I do think the final line may be verging on sappy. But what do I know. Sorry I am to be so late answering. Billy. I'm afraid I write many sweet poems and have to pull myself ...
- 04 Oct 2018, 01:20
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Can You Forgive Me
- Replies: 5
- Views: 9495
Re: Can You Forgive Me
A short poem with much to say - I like it!
Eira
Eira
- 04 Oct 2018, 01:11
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Running on the Spectrum (revised first 3 stanzas)
- Replies: 30
- Views: 49187
Re: Running on the Sprectrum
Thank you KenKenneth2816 wrote: ↑02 Oct 2018, 22:53Eira this is poignant. There are many good lines and it is a triumphant poem
Eira