New York Pitch Conference Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, and Poetry Forums

Thanks Bob

PS. I would not waste any time submitting this. I'm sure most venues would be glad to have it

And here I thought your fetish was birds. You've a well rounded repertoire. Title is too easy. One of your signature tactics is to ask questions. At first, I disliked it, but the more i read your work, I see how it keeps the reader engaged. Nice imagery and Im at the Discovery Channel observing thes...

This is my first choice nom for IBPC

The first six lines are not on par with thr exquisite and delicious detail of rebalance of the poem. There are many exotic and unexpected images here, so that I think one or two lines depicting the ravages of the weathe *before* the swallowa and red dust, would advance the poem. Difficult to make a ...

A hand over her cup signals she's done. There is no exchange of pleasantries. We're like hair-line cracks in the good Limoges indelible grey has set into. I could not have known something in her had withered, head buried in the Classifieds searching obituaries for vacancies, no hope of wintering ove...

Dale. I appreciate your input. I feel I need to stay true to the story. I'll look for places I can improve.

Frank. Thank you

Bob, my edit was so trivial, I forget.
The poem reads much better in its current form

I would ditch couplets. I think they mess up the formatting and dont serve the poem

Chinese Immigrant, Stuck on Angel Island, 1933 Each afternoon Jin Ching lay on a bunk like a prisoner awaiting a court's decree He had spent his life savings acquiring a "paper daughter", documents detailing a villager's daughter that he could claim as his... Would the immigration officials believe...

Bob, there is so much history behind this. 1931 Japan invaded Manchuria ,and over the ensuing years, there was the "Rape of Nanking". Later a Japanese macro biologist bred fleas infested with bubonic plague in hopes of creating a genocide. Japan entered the annals of history in the use of the first ...

In my opinion Bob, this has the potential to be the most important poem I've seen you write.It deserves to
be written. Im sure you'll tweak it

Ty Bob. I tried to stay close to the story.

Each man cried in his own tongue to his own God for the winds to still. They worked the instruments of their salvation; fingering small clay statuary, rattling bone dice, the letting of blood. Water from the blow hole fell on me like a tepid rain, The great unblinking eye, the lateral roll, scissori...

Bob, I'm of the opinion the poem carries itself. The Wikipedia article steals from the poem.

Thanks. I don't mean to make light of recovery or AA

This is really quite beautiful. I have no suggestions

Bob, this is stellar work. I believe there are some places where an edit might work: fill the sea up, dropping pebbles from its beak into the sea... Sea is redundant .maybe "fill the sea bu dropping pebbles from its beak. Im sure youll tinker with it. It's a piece germane to current events as well a...

Either is fine. Good poem

Nine months sober, I find myself at the Alamo bar, fistful of Tequila. One drink leads to another and soon, Satayana's army is marching through my head. The dark-eyed beauty in the corner with an outlaw smile, half my age, matches me shot for shot. Tuesday, my AA friends will welcome me with knowing...

Aurora was the little girl who wandered off, I think. I recall several news articles about dogs saving children by keeping them warm, etc.

I think hearimg from the dog is very original and imaginative

Meenas, I quite enjoy your poetry. I have to look up a word or two on Google, but your work is both inspirational and educational

Meenas, this is a sneak peek into another culture. I am onboard with everything. The seque from past to present tense with the last stanza is clumsy and by that,I mean it appears as an appendage instead of a part of the poem.I wonder if it might not be set up better earlier in the poem?

Thanks all. This was never going to be a great or even good poem. It's not barbarism solely for shock value though. I smile a little at "torture". It was literally *nothing* to see kids in the neighborhood riding bikes with multiple welts on their legs, in various hues, to hear screams from the hous...

Frank. Sometimes running text through translate renders an unusually worded format. Further, the heading leads one to assume these events may have taken place in Holland or the Netherlands instead of Germany. Without your explanation, I was totally lost. Now I get it. The language useage is good, th...