Search found 181 matches
- 13 Apr 2018, 17:22
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Automobile Rescue Repairmen - Fred and Joe - V2
- Replies: 5
- Views: 9787
Re: Automobile Rescue Repairmen - Fred and Joe
Ah ha, fair enough. I find it rather sad when I shop for my grandchildren, not many toy wreckers or dump trucks. They want video games.
- 13 Apr 2018, 16:01
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Oklahoma (revision)
- Replies: 10
- Views: 17650
Oklahoma (revision)
Revision- Near old photographs of oil fields and dust bowl refugees a Rock-Ola jukebox plays Earnest Tubb. I’m drinking shots, ready to stop driving trucks, to start selling cars for my brother in East Sacramento. The bartender pours another and knows she is striking, a Cherokee maiden with masculin...
- 13 Apr 2018, 15:59
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Cat Walk
- Replies: 4
- Views: 9272
Re: The Cat Walk
I am left wondering who the ‘he’ in the opening line is?
- 13 Apr 2018, 15:56
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Meeting my Father-in-law - revised
- Replies: 12
- Views: 18799
Re: Constanze Mozart
Hi Bob, I am unfamiliar with the life of Mozart so following the story was a bit difficult. For me some of what you said in your last comment injected into the poem would be helpful. I do like the style, use of couplets. The ending is great.
- 13 Apr 2018, 15:42
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Automobile Rescue Repairmen - Fred and Joe - V2
- Replies: 5
- Views: 9787
Re: Automobile Rescue Repairmen - Fred and Joe
Having grandchildren of my own I can appreciate your story, an endearing tale indeed. For me, it needs to be fleshed out more like a short story. As a poem I think too many of the dots are connected. I will be curious to see where this goes.
- 13 Apr 2018, 15:26
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Alien Sedition
- Replies: 24
- Views: 33295
Re: Alien Sedition
OK, just a thought, breasts like small tomatoes, perhaps over used; no bigger than green grapes, no not appealing; crescent moons, I,m thinking distant. The narrator is longing for love, he desires, I want the bridesmaids breasts to be inviting, like some kind of Asian confection, white flour dumpli...
- 09 Apr 2018, 22:13
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: To Crow or not to Crowe
- Replies: 9
- Views: 15500
Re: To Crow or not to Crowe
Oh ya, I just saw this on the news the other day, and I always forget about reading titles.
- 09 Apr 2018, 20:26
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: To Crow or not to Crowe
- Replies: 9
- Views: 15500
Re: To Crow or not to Crowe
These are are all interesting objects but perhaps need to be more specific in some cases. For example those electrical guitars- a gold top Les Paul, Chet Adkins Gretch and a Rickenbacker bass like Paul played for ‘Fool on the Hill.’ And I want to know why that jock strap is so expensive- worn by Hus...
- 09 Apr 2018, 05:18
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Alien Sedition
- Replies: 24
- Views: 33295
Re: Alien Sedition
Ah ha, you have me searching wedding photos, not many black pumps, but there are some. I’m beginning to see it especially on an Asian woman.
- 09 Apr 2018, 05:12
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Alien Sedition
- Replies: 24
- Views: 33295
Re: Alien Sedition
Hi Bernie, I like the story very much, the narrator’s jealousy, the final dig at the groom. Frank has left you many valid and thoughtful suggestion I know you will consider. I was only thrown a bit in s2. Loved the toe cleavage, but didn’t understand the black pumps. These don’t seem like a great ch...
- 07 Apr 2018, 23:24
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming April IBPC 2018:
- Replies: 17
- Views: 30679
Re: Upcoming April IBPC 2018:
An unexpected honor, I’m glad to represent WB with these other outstanding poets. Good luck to all.
- 06 Apr 2018, 04:22
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: From Things Left Behind
- Replies: 6
- Views: 11802
Re: From Things Left Behind
Thanks meanas, glad you enjoyed it.
- 05 Apr 2018, 17:17
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: From Things Left Behind
- Replies: 6
- Views: 11802
Re: From Things Left Behind
Thanks Bob, your opinion is highly valued.
- 05 Apr 2018, 01:22
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: Upcoming April IBPC 2018:
- Replies: 17
- Views: 30679
Re: Upcoming April IBPC 2018:
Thanks for the nomination Bernie. Dale Patterson dalepatterson2666@gmail.com my poem is original, unpublished and not represented in current IBPC The Direction I Walk in the Morning My left leg is longer than the right, orthopedic shoes keep me level. I meet an old friend at Fourth Street Cafe, step...
- 05 Apr 2018, 00:43
- Forum: Writer's Block Palaver
- Topic: IBPC nominations for April, 2018
- Replies: 4
- Views: 12463
Re: IBPC nominations for April, 2018
Thanks for the nomination Bernie. Dale Patterson dalepatterson2666@gmail.com my poem is original, unpublished and not represented in current IBPC The Direction I Walk in the Morning My left leg is longer than the right, orthopedic shoes keep me level. I meet an old friend at Fourth Street Cafe, step...
- 05 Apr 2018, 00:35
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: From Things Left Behind
- Replies: 6
- Views: 11802
Re: From Things Left Behind
Thanks Bernie, thrilled that you like it. It got started as I was sitting and looking at all my stuff, thinking I wonder what my children will keep and what goes to the dump. I also thought of going through my parents possessions with my sister, how we each valued different things.
- 04 Apr 2018, 20:52
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: From Things Left Behind
- Replies: 6
- Views: 11802
From Things Left Behind
The orange plaid recliner tilts like an astronaut’s chair pushed to the side, askew to the faux walnut bookcase, condensed Reader’s Digests and bundles of Field and Stream double knotted. Two feral cats, one on the cushions, the other with tight weepy eyes, hunt in the piles of cans, the dry rotted ...
- 28 Mar 2018, 17:42
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Last Post
- Replies: 5
- Views: 8964
Re: Last Post
Well written and easy to follow. It depicts very well a time when war was depicted in more glamorous ways, romantic, sorrow and pain painted to make the viewer want to be in the picture. Not at all like watching the Viet Nam newsreels in the 60’s and 70’s. Love the dialect, especially love, ‘foot in...
- 28 Mar 2018, 17:29
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Jewish Cemetery Queens, New York
- Replies: 4
- Views: 9160
Re: Jewish Cemetery Queens, New York
A very respectful and peaceful reflection of passing. I find it interesting to consider what images we retain after a death and passage of time. My grandmother passing a plate of her homemade fudge, grandfathers lunchbox, mother’s crippling shyness, etc. The poem, a plain spoken, straight forward na...
- 27 Mar 2018, 23:07
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Direction I Walk in the Morning (final revision)
- Replies: 15
- Views: 22352
Re: The Direction I Walk in the Morning (revision)
Bernie, so happy you like the revision and honored with your nomination. I began making cuts yesterday and with the aid of your suggestions will surely get it all pulled together. I’m not sure of procedures, but I’m sure there are many nomination, should mine be selected I will be happy to represent...
- 27 Mar 2018, 16:12
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Direction I Walk in the Morning (final revision)
- Replies: 15
- Views: 22352
Re: The Direction I Walk in the Morning (revision)
Thanks Michael, you are most likely correct that the final poem will be a melding of the two versions. My original idea was a simple relationship of two friends. In the second I wanted to go deeper, and reveal a jealousy brought on by the narrators handicap. We will see how it goes from here.
- 27 Mar 2018, 04:05
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Hanging Garden Of Babylon
- Replies: 19
- Views: 25235
Re: Hanging Garden Of Babylon
Or perhaps a ‘straw broom’
- 26 Mar 2018, 23:10
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: Hanging Garden Of Babylon
- Replies: 19
- Views: 25235
Re: Hanging Garden Of Babylon
I read and commented on your poem in another forum, glad to see it here. You have gotten many great suggestions, so I don’t wish to get in the way of your revisions. I do have one nit, when you say, ‘In Haste I strike them with a vacuum cleaner’ I see someone swinging the whole machine through the a...
- 25 Mar 2018, 16:49
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Direction I Walk in the Morning (final revision)
- Replies: 15
- Views: 22352
Re: The Direction I Walk in the Morning
Thanks frank, you got it, midwestern USA.
- 25 Mar 2018, 16:48
- Forum: Writer's Block - Where The Poets Hang
- Topic: The Direction I Walk in the Morning (final revision)
- Replies: 15
- Views: 22352
Re: The Direction I Walk in the Morning
Thanks Kenneth, nice to meet you.