A poem that I never wrote

[shriiram]

i have never written a poem in ten years,
during which a lot has changed –

four world wars never happened
a soupy love song went viral
two lonesome dictators were overthrown
one terrorist hanged
Mt. Everest added few more bodies to its ledger
another half a million birds mistook glass for clear space
and rammed into it headfirst
while airplanes stayed clear of everything that reflected
i read Imtiaz Dharker’s the terrorist at my table
more times than I could count
a living meadow gave way to bustling machinery
near my neighbourhood
more people than ever believed that only
Wordsworth and Keats wrote poetry
my sister gave birth to a baby boy
a seismic disturbance ravaged the holy shrine of Kedarnath
more Gods turned idle, more idols turned Gods;

and still i never wrote another poem,
i lived as others did –
reacting to news with extreme emotions
blaming my neighbour for adding to Global Warming
when he cut down a tree in the parking lot
cursing a journalist for misspelling cart as fart;

yet I never wrote a poem
never will

[SivaRamanathan]

Sriram
more times that I could count
typo
more times than I could count

[SivaRamanathan]

Sriram
If you have decided to do away with punctuation,why not maintain it throughout?

S

[shriiram]

Thank you, Siva, for pointing out the typo. I have corrected it. I also felt the semi-colon is loud, given the muted style of the poem, though I didn't act on it then. Your comment about doing away with punctuation is very valid. However, I am still under confusion as to replace it with; leaving it without punctuation is very enticing though...

[FrankThird]

I thought this a lovely poem, I absolutely love it. Of course you can write a poem, you just did.

Nits: (which might improve it)

Please use Mount instead of Mt.

No need to clarify this line, it stands alone: another half a million birds mistook glass for clear space


Prefer: Living meadows gave way to bustling machinery

Drop the modifier?: reacting to news with extreme emotions

Well done.

Why is Siva cross with you? She can be a madam.

[shriiram]

Thank you, Frank. Your comments make sense, I shall consider them. Though, I am not sure whether I would want to do away with the 'extreme emotions'. I think the use of adjective there emphasizes on how people react to news. Removing it will change the meaning, albeit subtly. It will mean that people react with emotions.

With regards to Siva, I guess she is referring to the syntactic part of the poem, while your emphasis is on the semantic elements of the poem...

[FrankThird]

These are suggestions Shriram, they don't have to be entertained,
it is your poem. You don't even have to respond to me if you wish,
just a thank you for reading comment will do.

[SarahSConnell]

This lyric fits may fit a few classifications yet it more suited to dismal and dull verse than whatever else.

[iowaboy99]

Nice list poem. A sort of anti-poem or protest against all the stuff our overcivilization does to us and the planet. I like the twist. I feel gritted teeth. Am I right?

TerryO