Yes, It is Diwali

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meenas17
Posts: 466
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Yes, It is Diwali

#1 Post by meenas17 » 01 Nov 2018, 20:30

Revision:

It is Diwali night.
We stay awake.
The sound of crackers
echo in the streets.
Babies whimper.
Old men shudder.

The display fascinates.
Flower pots go up in sparkles
Chakras rotate in the ground
rockets rise to heaven, burst
with a fiery glitter and descend.

Diwali marks the death of Nargasura,
a demon who stands up for evil.
Temples hold prayers.The righteous
wins say the scriptures. It is a belief,
a faith over the centuries.

In reality does good triumph?
The shootings, the massacre,
the assaults and finally the avarice
seen throughout saddens.
The Holy Books belie.

Good succumbs. Bad rules.
Criminals prosper.
Innocent suffer.
Paradoxical it is.
Beyond the faith.

Still we celebrate,
Diwali year after year.
Hope sustains.





Original


Come Diwali
the echo of crackers
loud and jarring
keep the babe and the aged
at bay.


The baby whimpers
 old man shudders
 noise continues
 through the midnight
 disturbing.

The display of fireworks fascinate,
flowerpots go up in sparkles
“chakras” circle on the ground
the rockets rise  to the heavens
burst with a splutter.

The festival commemorates 
the death of" Naragasura"
an epitome of evil
and the triumph of righteous.
Celebrations at the highest.

In the midst of the bashes  
thoughts of shooting,
war, sexual assaults,
political coups, natural catastrophes
intercept.

 Good  is beaten
bad wins glory.
Those who commit sin
gain. Those others 
who shun evil suffer.

Ironical all the way.
Paradoxical even more.
Unable to accept.
Yet true.
Yes, it is Diwali.



 
 







 
meenas17

meenas17
Posts: 466
Joined: 23 Mar 2014, 11:27

Re: Yes, It is Diwali

#2 Post by meenas17 » 08 Nov 2018, 16:22

Posted a revision.
meenas17

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1281
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Yes, It is Diwali

#3 Post by FranktheFrank » 08 Nov 2018, 18:22

Chakras rotate in the ground
rockets rise to heaven, burst
with a fiery glitter and descend.
Much inproved Meens, really very good those last two lines.

capricorn
Posts: 115
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: Yes, It is Diwali

#4 Post by capricorn » 15 Nov 2018, 17:21

I love your revision, Meenas. This is well written and held my interest all through. The ending is superb. I like a poem ending in a feeling of hope.

Eira

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