The Miracle of Flight

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IndianaDP
Posts: 152
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

The Miracle of Flight

#1 Post by IndianaDP » 26 Nov 2018, 18:04

A man walks through corn
dank furrows
towering green
that absorbs humid yellow.

He is angry and tired
of fighting his wife
things that are set
and beyond his control.

As he reaches
the edge of the field
a silver plane drones
dips its wing to the earth.

He waves then wonders
if the pilot can see him
or cares he is high
on Scotch whiskey.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 913
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: The Miracle of Flight

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 27 Nov 2018, 05:16

I think everyone who has been ina long term relationship can identity with this poem, the fight, the walking away, needing some space... enjoyed

IndianaDP
Posts: 152
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: The Miracle of Flight

#3 Post by IndianaDP » 27 Nov 2018, 18:54

Thanks Bob

Kenneth2816
Posts: 752
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: The Miracle of Flight

#4 Post by Kenneth2816 » 29 Nov 2018, 21:30

I read this as a first impression piece. I like the skeleton. I also enjoy Dale, the rural settings of your poems.

Doesn't it mean when a plane tips the wings, the pilot is signifying he DOES see you?

IMHO based on reading your work this far, you're not done with this.

IndianaDP
Posts: 152
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: The Miracle of Flight

#5 Post by IndianaDP » 30 Nov 2018, 22:50

Thanks Ken, in this I am using the plane as a subtle metaphor for God, so the tipping wing is like a signal. None-the-less the man still has doubts even with signs.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1289
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: The Miracle of Flight

#6 Post by FranktheFrank » 06 Dec 2018, 13:02

Now you have explained Dale
maybe make it more personal.
He waves then wonders
if the pilot can see him
or cares he is high
on Scotch whiskey.
He waves to the pilot,
knowing he is seen, but does
He mind he is high on corn whiskey.

The capitalisation of He may give the reader a clue.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 913
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: The Miracle of Flight

#7 Post by BobBradshaw » 10 Dec 2018, 22:31

The more I read this poem, the more I like it....

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