Emily Dickinson, In Love

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BobBradshaw
Posts: 1563
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Emily Dickinson, In Love

#1 Post by BobBradshaw » 09 Jan 2020, 21:28

Emily Dickinson, In Love

Though never spoken of
marriage had been in the air—

as inevitable as pollen--
or birdsong in mid-summer.

Imagine when she heard—
Henry—engaged—

her heart's chandelier--
wrecked on the heart's floor.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1563
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 15 Jan 2020, 21:36

revised

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1169
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

#3 Post by SivaRamanathan » 16 Jan 2020, 17:39

Bob

I am not quite sure about the 'heart's floor'.It sounds contrived.

Siva

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1563
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 16 Jan 2020, 22:16

I “borrowed” that image from an Emily Dickinson poem...wanted to make the poem more authentic. However, that doesn’t keep it from sounding contrived in this poem. Thx for commenting,Siva

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1169
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

#5 Post by SivaRamanathan » 17 Jan 2020, 08:58

Bob

Now I understand.It is ----------.(I forget the word,there is a term for it,we learnt it in literature) I didn't realize you were trying to be authentic to Dicksonian Poetry, Let me read and reread it, and maybe I will get used to it.

Siva

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1169
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

#6 Post by SivaRamanathan » 17 Jan 2020, 09:02

Bob
Nice imagery here.

as inevitable as pollen
or birdsong in mid-summer.


You need a full stop at the end of the poem, after 'loose.'

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1563
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

#7 Post by BobBradshaw » 17 Jan 2020, 10:11

Thx, Siva....the period at the end has been rolled into place. By the way, happy new year, and may you write many wonderful poems in 2020....best, Bob

SivaRamanathan
Posts: 1169
Joined: 14 May 2011, 20:30

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

#8 Post by SivaRamanathan » 18 Jan 2020, 11:12

Bob,

It is Pongal season now. The15th was Pongal for the Sun God,The 16th Pongal for the cattle,17th the Sight-seeing Pongal.And thank you for your good heart.

Siva

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1563
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Emily Dickinson, In Love

#9 Post by BobBradshaw » 21 Jan 2020, 09:20

major trim....

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