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novocaine

a flat tire
in my mouth
moving in sand

my words
wrapped
like a mummy

speaking in tongues
a white Lazarus
a zombie

his meals
tasteless until
the second death

Intrigued by your choice of title for the poem. But liked it anyway. Here are my observations.

1. 'moving in sand' sort of broke the flow for me when I read the poem. I felt the poem 'sounded' much better without that line.
2. Similarly, the line 'a zombie' is not strengthening what the previous line builds up. Without that line, the pronoun 'his' in the subsequent lines clearly points to Lazarus, who is historically represented as the symbol of resurrection.

The whole poem is about novocaine, thus the title.

 
Hi Billy,


1st, I mention here re viewtopic.php?f=3&t=5999#p25538


cup of tea
gone cold--
writer's block


writer's block--
building up to
a poem


^^ I like this set; the 1st is lost; the latter, recovery


could conjunct as:

cup of tea
gone cold--

writer's block

building up to
a poem


^^ a value of poetry (Creativity) is that it can bring to light an apparent not yet seen; and here - Yes indeed - the obstacle becomes the building block


"Upon the rock I will build My church"


"I tell you, if these were silent, the stones would shout out."   -- Luke 19:40
"The rocks and stones themselves would start to sing"  -- JC Superstar


sharing my own posted on the WB from circa 12 years ago:

writer's block --
ink
like kryptonite



re "novocaine"

do you need the "e" at the end: novocain


sharing some variations I heard


speaking in tongues
a zombie
his meals

tasteless until
the white Lazarus
returns to life



speaking in tongues
a zombie
his meals

tasteless until
death wears off
the white Lazarus



speaking in tongues
a zombie
his meals

tasteless until
the white Lazarus
unwinds from the spell


wakes from the sleep




Michael (MV)

 
 
 
 
 

Billy,

I like this poem. Particularly the last line. I have heard of a second life, but not the second death. Very interesting.

Cheers,

Terry

I liked the speaking in tongues line a lot, since of course novocaine makes the tongue so ridiculously big feeling. Speaking in tongues can be taken two ways here.

The poem