I Am a Planter.

[meenas17]

An experience of a kind,
from the comforts of the living room
to the hot oil palm estates,
a startling one!

I flew to Malaysia
a decade back
to participate in a festival
God willed it otherwise
I am deep into business
full time as much.

Teluk Intan.the town, where I am,
is commended as the best zone
for oil palm cultivation
having fertile black alluvial soil
most suitable for palms.

I, in my new role, as a planter,
wear big estate boots
don a straw hat and grab
a walking stick to support me
in case, I slip on the marshy tract
with packed lunch, all arrangements pacca.

I start my first day's work
I find
the trees, tall almost 40 feet
fruits, big weighing 50 kilos
a massiveness in all
surroundings inordinately hot
possessed by a silence,
deadly silence, fearful.

Awesome and amazing on one side
uncomfortable and stuffy on the other
Gosh! I sweat in and out.
the palms release excess humidity
adding to the global warming

My journey has begun
before I could come to terms
a visit to the estates turns compulsory
every fifteenth day, I mark my attendance,
not for the sake but in earnest.

I supervise the harvest
learn to speak a few words in Malay
boleh, pegi, mana, makan
(can, go, where, food)
address the workers as cawan
meaning my good friend.

Harvesting is done with long rods
could be lengthened and shortened
according to the tree's height.
A sickle is attached to the rod
a sharp cut on the exact spot
and a heavy pull brings the fruit down
it falls with a huge noise.- thud
the heart jumps out.

A novice I am, as seen in an incident
being engrossed in foreseeing the harvest
failed to notice the fall of a fruit
I was fortunately pushed aside by one of the harvesters
but for that, my head would have been
broken
and my brains would have jutted out.

The pickers,
with a wheelbarrow
pick the fruits with ease
pile them in heaps
at a vantage point in each row.
I go behind each harvester
talk in bahasa Melayu
ini, ini, buah, buah I shout
pointing to the fruits they have missed
he nods and says boleh .

I order the pickers to collect
the loose berries lying around
call out to them sini mari la[/i
funny to see me turn into
a hard task master.

It is the way I learnt
it is how I live today.
behind the harvesters
between the rows of kelapa sawit
beneath the trees
with the orangutans and snakes
playing around.

I walk past the rows briskly
a leech (attai) clings to my sari
crawls stealthily in
clings to my calf muscles
I shout with pain,
try to seize it
it stuck even more steadfast
sucked the blood through
fell down dead soon after.

I cried ayyaaoo ayaaooo in pain
excruciating it was, my eyes well
the harvester smiled all knowingly
said to me gently, with a concern
puan, tidak much untuk menjadi seorang penanam kelapa sawit
"it is not easy to be a planter."

[BobBradshaw]

Meena, this is my favorite poem of yours. It is gentle, and charming. However, it needs a good trim, and some past and present tense logic needs to be cleaned up. I suggest you stay in present tense. Your piece would have more impact if it was shorter. Below is a shorter version, for your consideration. If anything helps, great. If not, just ignore the suggestions and go with your gut.


I, in my new role, as a planter,
wear big estate boots
don a straw hat and grab
a walking stick to support me
in case, I slip on the marshy tract

I start my first day's work
I find
the palms, tall almost 40 feet
the fruits, weighing 50 kilos.

I supervise the harvest
learn to speak a few words in Malay
boleh, pegi, mana, makan
(can, go, where, food)
address the workers as cawan
meaning my good friend.

Harvesting is done with a long rod,
a sickle attached to it.
A sharp cut on the exact spot
and a heavy pull brings the fruit down
with a huge thud
as the heart
jumps.

The pickers,
with a wheelbarrow
pick the fruits with ease
pile them in heaps
I go behind each harvester
talk in bahasa Melayu
ini, ini, buah, buah I shout
pointing to the fruits they have missed
they nod and say boleh .

I order the pickers to collect
the loose berries lying around
call out to them sini mari la[/i
funny to see me turn into
a hard task master.

I walk past the rows briskly
a leech clings to my sari
crawls stealthily in
clings to my calf muscles

I cry ayyaaoo ayaaooo in pain,
my eyes welling
the harvester smiles all knowingly
says gently, with a concern
puan, tidak much untuk menjadi seorang penanam kelapa sawit
"it is not easy to be a planter."

[FranktheFrank]

Yes, I agree with Bob,

[meenas17]

Nice of you, Bob, to have work shopped on this poem. It was lying low for a time.
I will consider your suggestions.

Frank, your service is invaluable. You have coached me and I learnt that part of writing from you- revision. Else I used to post what I wrote without going through. A thought that I will not go wrong prevailed. I realised, late, the process helps a lot.

Learning is continuous. I am always willing to correct my mistakes.

Best.

[FranktheFrank]

Meena
As long as you enjoy

[meenas17]

What an experience!
from the comforts of home
to a humid oil palm estate.

I flew to Malaysia
to witness a temple festival.
Had to stay back to learn the skills
of an oil palm planter.

Teluk Intan, a lazy town,
has the best alluvial soil
suitable for oil palms

I, in my new role, as a planter,
wear big estate boots,
don a straw hat and grab
a walking stick to support me
in case, I slip on the marshy track.

I start my first day's work.
I find
the palms, tall almost 40 feet,
the fruits, weighing 50 kilos.

I supervise the harvest.
Learn to speak a few words in Malay
boleh, pegi, mana, makan
(can, go, where, food).I
address the workers as cawan
meaning my good friend.

Harvesters use long rods
attached with a sickle. They tap the fruit.
A sharp cut on the exact spot
and a heavy pull brings the fruit down
with a huge thud
- the heart jumps.


The pickers,
with a wheelbarrow
pick the fruits not with ease.
Pile them in heaps.
I go behind each harvester
talk in bahasa Melayu
ini,ini, buah buah . I shout
pointing to the fruits they have missed.
They nod and say boleh

I order the pickers to collect
the loose berries lying around.
Call out to them sini mari la.
Funny to see me turn into
a hard task master.

I walk past the rows briskly.
A leech clings to my sari
crawls stealthily in,
clutches my calf muscles.

I cry ayyaaoo ayyaoo in pain,
my eyes well.
The harvester smiles all knowingly.
Says with a concern
"puan,tidak much untuk menjadi seorang penanam kelapa sawit."
Madam,not easy to become an oil palm grower.


Revised version.Thinking hard to change the title.

Meena.

[meenas17]

What an experience!
from the comforts of home
to a humid oil palm estate.

I flew to Malaysia
to witness a temple festival.
Had to stay back to learn the skills
of an oil palm planter.

Teluk Intan, a lazy town,
has the best alluvial soil
suitable for oil palms

I, in my new role, as a planter,
wear big estate boots,
don a straw hat and grab
a walking stick to support me
in case, I slip on the marshy track.

I start my first day's work.
I find
the palms, tall almost 40 feet,
the fruits, weighing 50 kilos.

I supervise the harvest.
Learn to speak a few words in Malay
boleh, pegi, mana, makan
(can, go, where, food).I
address the workers as cawan
meaning my good friend.

Harvesters use long rods
attached with a sickle. They tap the fruit.
A sharp cut on the exact spot
and a heavy pull brings the fruit down
with a huge thud
- the heart jumps.


The pickers,
with a wheelbarrow
pick the fruits not with ease.
Pile them in heaps.
I go behind each harvester
talk in bahasa Melayu
ini,ini, buah buah . I shout
pointing to the fruits they have missed.
They nod and say boleh

I order the pickers to collect
the loose berries lying around.
Call out to them sini mari la.
Funny to see me turn into
a hard task master.

I walk past the rows briskly.
A leech clings to my sari
crawls stealthily in,
clutches my calf muscles.

I cry ayyaaoo ayyaoo in pain,
my eyes well.
The harvester smiles all knowingly.
Says with a concern
"puan,tidak much untuk menjadi seorang penanam kelapa sawit."
Madam,not easy to become an oil palm grower.


Revised version. Like to change the title. Suggestions, please.

Meena.

[meenas17]

Like to change the title.
The New Title-
In The Realms Of Black Gold.

[FranktheFrank]

Meena good.

[meenas17]

The palm tree is considered as black gold.

http://www.entrepreneurstoolkit.org/ind ... Production...
Jul 10, 2012 - An oil palm tree on the road leading to Bonambufie village in Ngie Road crossing River Fek ... The Palm tree is considered as black gold.

[FranktheFrank]

Interesting Meena

dge.

[FranktheFrank]

Meena, you still have punctuation errors.

Could you copy and paste to WORD and the spell check will show all missing full stops etc. etc.?

[EricRomm]

nice poem.

[FranktheFrank]

Meena
I have a favour to ask you,
to translate some Indian dialect for me.
Possibly Khasi.

[meenas17]

Frank,
Khasi is spoken in Meghalaya, a north-eastern state of India. I am not familiar with the dialect.
I am proficient in Tamil.

[FranktheFrank]

But if you are busy, it's okay.

[meenas17]

I will be pleased to do it. I will get in touch with some of my friends in Kolkata and get it done. You can send it to me.

[FranktheFrank]

Thanks Meena, isn't the Internet wonderful, you in Malaya and me in Europe can share?

I will try to take a picture of the page and post in pm, if not I will type out what i think the letters say.

[paylituzu]

"I am a planter - a cotton planter. I am a Southern man and a slaveholder - a kind and a merciful one, I trust - and none the worse for being a slaveholder.

goldenslot
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