Your Eyesight is a Blessing
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Your Eyesight is a Blessing
Your Eyesight is a Blessing
as you nurture in your small room
cymbidiums
--their bodies like geishas,
graceful and slender, holding
their flowers like fans.
Beyond your window a tea garden
beckons you to sit beneath
a mulberry tree, cocooned
in a heavy blanket, gazing
at the flickering koi
and the tiny, fan-like gingko leaves
fluttering into the pond.
On a ventilator, your sighs falter
like waves, yet you feel blessed
sitting under the changing light
of the blood red maples,
the branches of the flowering pear tree
fanning into clouds of light.
as you nurture in your small room
cymbidiums
--their bodies like geishas,
graceful and slender, holding
their flowers like fans.
Beyond your window a tea garden
beckons you to sit beneath
a mulberry tree, cocooned
in a heavy blanket, gazing
at the flickering koi
and the tiny, fan-like gingko leaves
fluttering into the pond.
On a ventilator, your sighs falter
like waves, yet you feel blessed
sitting under the changing light
of the blood red maples,
the branches of the flowering pear tree
fanning into clouds of light.
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: To Have Your Eyesight is a Blessing
wow, this is so unlike you Bob.
I love it, the colour, Japanese theme
and the shock of illness
and the blood red dead.
Well done, think I will nominate.
I love it, the colour, Japanese theme
and the shock of illness
and the blood red dead.
Well done, think I will nominate.
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: To Have Your Eyesight is a Blessing
Thanks, Frank. I'm glad it works. Best, Bob
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: To Have Your Eyesight is a Blessing
Something Bernie about this
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: To Have Your Eyesight is a Blessing
Anything Bernie....is good.
Re: To Have Your Eyesight is a Blessing
A very good poem, Bob. -
Cymbidiums, mulberry tree, ginkgo leaves ,red maples and flowers of the pear tree add colour tp the poem.
Love the lines
beckons you to sit beneath
a mulberry tree, cocooned.
Bob, the poem is short and sweet.
Great!
Best.
Cymbidiums, mulberry tree, ginkgo leaves ,red maples and flowers of the pear tree add colour tp the poem.
Love the lines
beckons you to sit beneath
a mulberry tree, cocooned.
Bob, the poem is short and sweet.
Great!
Best.
meenas17
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- Posts: 2692
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: To Have Your Eyesight is a Blessing
Thanks, Meena!
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- Posts: 2154
- Joined: 18 Apr 2005, 04:57
Re: Your Eyesight is a Blessing
Hi Bob,
is this inspired by Vincent Van Gogh?
a form of fan appears 3x - this doesn't necessarily flaw the poem, but there is not a metaphorical shift w/ each appearance - each is fan-like
The 1st is creative - like in Fantasia
as you nurture in your small room
boat orchids floating geisha-like (or floating like geishas, if you choose this arrangement)
holding petals that flower into fans.
Beyond your window a tea garden
re the 2nd:
and the tiny gingko leaves
fluttering into the pond.
^^ fluttering is fanning
or workshop sharing -
in a heavy blanket, gazing
at the flickering koi
and the gingko leaves
pedaling through the pond.
gingko leaves are tiny
re your concern w/ the title:
1/ since this passage is in the poem
"On a ventilator, your sighs falter
like waves, yet you feel blessed
sitting under the changing light
of the blood red maples,"
says about the same as the title
and 2/ The entire poem reveals itself like a spectacular Fantasia vignette witnessing the pedestrian title
then perhaps in the title field vignette
if Van Gogh inspired, vignette, after Van Gogh
or
Van Gogh vignette
oh, and the 3rd
the branches of the flowering pear tree
fanning clouds into lifts of light.
^^ here the fanning is just right - the fan of the higher Hand
Michael (MV) a fan of Our Father's Higher Hand
is this inspired by Vincent Van Gogh?
a form of fan appears 3x - this doesn't necessarily flaw the poem, but there is not a metaphorical shift w/ each appearance - each is fan-like
The 1st is creative - like in Fantasia
as you nurture in your small room
boat orchids floating geisha-like (or floating like geishas, if you choose this arrangement)
holding petals that flower into fans.
Beyond your window a tea garden
re the 2nd:
and the tiny gingko leaves
fluttering into the pond.
^^ fluttering is fanning
or workshop sharing -
in a heavy blanket, gazing
at the flickering koi
and the gingko leaves
pedaling through the pond.
gingko leaves are tiny
re your concern w/ the title:
1/ since this passage is in the poem
"On a ventilator, your sighs falter
like waves, yet you feel blessed
sitting under the changing light
of the blood red maples,"
says about the same as the title
and 2/ The entire poem reveals itself like a spectacular Fantasia vignette witnessing the pedestrian title
then perhaps in the title field vignette
if Van Gogh inspired, vignette, after Van Gogh
or
Van Gogh vignette
oh, and the 3rd
the branches of the flowering pear tree
fanning clouds into lifts of light.
^^ here the fanning is just right - the fan of the higher Hand
Michael (MV) a fan of Our Father's Higher Hand
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Your Eyesight is a Blessing
If it is about Van Gogh, and it seems it is, then his name should be in the title, or the title of one of his paintings.