The Boy's Confession As A Man

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Billy
Posts: 964
Joined: 22 Jun 2006, 10:56

The Boy's Confession As A Man

#1 Post by Billy » 20 Oct 2017, 02:44

The Boy's Confession As A Man

Father, the night was always yours
and now it's mine, but I've grown old

with fright that you inflamed. Hear me.
Death is the judge. The luminous

reflections circle back and take their place
in the center of the present. I'll hold

you. Like a forgotten rock, common,
indistinguishable from all the others,

lying in the bottom of my underwear
drawer, where I kept the Playboy

January, 1964. The year I made a vow
not to be like you. All the women will say

that I'm a liar, but a nice enough guy,
just like you, in a certain shade of light.

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1191
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: The Boy's Confession As A Man

#2 Post by Kenneth2816 » 20 Oct 2017, 03:04

Nailed it. Title took me right in.

Couplets and killer line breaks.

Not too syrupy nor overly harsh.

Send is out , Billy.

SivaVelliangiri
Posts: 140
Joined: 09 Jul 2017, 06:34

Re: The Boy's Confession As A Man

#3 Post by SivaVelliangiri » 20 Oct 2017, 06:50

Billy

where I kept the Playboy(.) You need a full stop there.
Kenneth has said what I wanted to say.

S

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1618
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: The Boy's Confession As A Man

#4 Post by BobBradshaw » 20 Oct 2017, 20:58

I like the last 3 stanzas best....

Kenneth2816
Posts: 1191
Joined: 01 Jun 2008, 09:17

Re: The Boy's Confession As A n

#5 Post by Kenneth2816 » 21 Oct 2017, 14:04

Billy I'd like to nominate this for IBPC if
You're ok with it.

sanbromm
Posts: 2
Joined: 21 Oct 2017, 18:13

Re: The Boy's Confession As A Man

#6 Post by sanbromm » 21 Oct 2017, 18:17

I like it, nice writing, touching.

LindaLinda
Posts: 68
Joined: 08 Oct 2017, 05:13

Re: The Boy's Confession As A Man

#7 Post by LindaLinda » 24 Oct 2017, 04:48

My kind of poem, where you don't need to excavate to find meaning and emotion.
Last 2 lines clinch it, well done. I second the nom.
Linda

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