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Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 11 Jan 2018, 02:57
by capricorn
Anthem at my Father's Funeral
I'd lost the music deep inside
me, dormant since my father died
until I heard the miners sing,
Land of my Father's surging tide
of harmonies. I burned with pride.
Through passing time its timbre wrings
emotions still - this ancestry
my forefathers bequeathed to me.
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 11 Jan 2018, 06:49
by Bernie01
C---
you have integrated these poetry elements nicely, the music speaks clearly as with both the sentiment and emotion.
very nice performance.
i will be especially interested in how you utilize these talents, these instincts in future work.
bernie
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 11 Jan 2018, 15:47
by FranktheFrank
Old Land of my Fathers
Lyrics by Evan James
music composed by his son, James James,
Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi,
Gwlad beirdd a chantorion, enwogion o fri;
Ei gwrol ryfelwyr, gwladgarwyr tra mâd,
Tros ryddid gollasant eu gwaed.
Chorus:
Gwlad, Gwlad, pleidiol wyf i'm gwlad,
Tra môr yn fur i'r bur hoff bau,
O bydded i'r heniaith barhau.
Hen Gymru fynyddig, paradwys y bardd;
Pob dyffryn, pob clogwyn, i'm golwg sydd hardd
Trwy deimlad gwladgarol, mor swynol yw si
Ei nentydd, afonydd, i fi.
Chorus
Os treisiodd y gelyn fy ngwlad dan ei droed,
Mae hen iaith y Cymry mor fyw ag erioed,
Ni luddiwyd yr awen gan erchyll law brad,
Na thelyn berseiniol fy ngwlad.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hen_Wlad_Fy_Nhadau
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 11 Jan 2018, 18:31
by meenas17
Sadness and pride intertwine,
the surge of emotions interlock,
while the music intercepts.
Nicely done.
Meena.
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 16 Jan 2018, 10:03
by Damoms69
Bob and Ken sweep the current IBPC. terrific poms, inspiration to us all.
บาคาร่าออนไลน์
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 18 Jan 2018, 01:40
by capricorn
Bernie01 wrote:C---
you have integrated these poetry elements nicely, the music speaks clearly as with both the sentiment and emotion.
very nice performance.
i will be especially interested in how you utilize these talents, these instincts in future work.
bernie
Thanks Bernie. So glad you like this one.
Eira
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 18 Jan 2018, 01:42
by capricorn
Thanks for posting that, Frank. I don't understand much Welsh, but my father spoke it fluently.
Eira
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 18 Jan 2018, 01:43
by capricorn
meenas17 wrote:Sadness and pride intertwine,
the surge of emotions interlock,
while the music intercepts.
Nicely done.
Meena.
Thank you Meena.
Eira
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 18 Jan 2018, 03:12
by FranktheFrank
The lyrics are translated in that link Eira.
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 23 Jan 2018, 12:36
by RWCJames
capricorn - Your poem is an anthem in itself:
Through passing time its timbre wrings
emotions still - this ancestry
my forefathers bequeathed to me.
Instructional in its humility and reverence for homeland
missing from the political hysteria rampant on this side
of the waters. - RC
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 28 Jan 2018, 19:32
by FranktheFrank
Eira I want to nominate this poem for this month's IBPC
I just don't like the word timbre, it's a perfectly good word,
but is there another you could choose, maybe a Welsh word?
Maybe the others can help on this, or maybe I'm wrong.
Whatever you choose I will still nominate with your permission.
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 01 Feb 2018, 02:39
by capricorn
RWCJames wrote:capricorn - Your poem is an anthem in itself:
Through passing time its timbre wrings
emotions still - this ancestry
my forefathers bequeathed to me.
Instructional in its humility and reverence for homeland
missing from the political hysteria rampant on this side
of the waters. - RC
Thank you Richard - it is Richard isn't it, from MM? Good to see you here.
Eira
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 01 Feb 2018, 03:04
by capricorn
FranktheFrank wrote:Eira I want to nominate this poem for this month's IBPC
I just don't like the word timbre, it's a perfectly good word,
but is there another you could choose, maybe a Welsh word?
Maybe the others can help on this, or maybe I'm wrong.
Whatever you choose I will still nominate with your permission.
Hi Frank, sorry I've only just seen this. We've had a worrying time with my son this week - he's been to the hospital again today. Will message you soon.
I'd be honoured to accept your nomination. As to 'timbre' I am wondering what it is you dislike about it? I chose it for assonance with 'wrings.' I can't offhand think of an alternative as it would have to fit in with meter - 2 syllables, strong beat/weak beat. A Welsh word would be great, but I only know a few words, none of them musical. I'll think on it.
Thanks
Eira
Re: Anthem at my Father's Funeral
Posted: 05 Feb 2018, 07:35
by Gracy321
capricorn wrote:Anthem at my Father's Funeral
I'd lost the music deep inside
me, dormant since my father died
until I heard the miners sing,
Land of my Father's surging tide
of harmonies. I burned with pride.
Through passing time its timbre wrings
emotions still - this ancestry
my forefathers bequeathed to me.
Hi Eira,
I've been away too long for various reasons. I just read that you're concerned about your son Jason's health. I'm so sorry about that and hope he'll recover soon. He was so well during the festivities. I'll write to you.
I love your poem. Don't think I have any nits. The musicality shines throughout, it could be a song in itself. In a few lines, you've deftly handled alliterations and good end rhymes. It's emotional, striking the perfect balance between personal feelings and justifiable pride of an ancestry bequeathed by your forefathers. And historical.
I'll second your poem for IBPC. Not sure for what month, but suppose it will represent February?
Best, Gracy