New York Pitch Conference Reviews, Algonkian Writer Conferences, and Poetry Forums

Revision-
She is a beautiful woman
who likes Chinese silk
and French beaded bags,

has a Masters from Wellesley
in European Lit.

In her library
the spines of her books
are pristine, the pages
carefully turned as they’re read
and marginal notes
she writes in light pencil.

She aspires to kindness,
helps out the cook
pairing entrees with wine,
the gardener pruning
red roses.

She listens, forgives
while her husband defends
his transgressions,

tells all her friends
she admires his linage
and how he expands
his father’s vast fortune,

a business she pretends
to not understand,
the investments
kept on the move,
hidden by attorneys
in foreign accounts,
called contributions,
charitable donations,

money that goes to their son,
gets him into Harvard
where his father has told him
to sow his wild oats
with the girls beanth him,
then marry a woman
who is just like
his mother.

Original-
She is a beautiful woman
who likes printed silk
and fine beaded bags,

has a Masters from Wellesley
in American Lit.

The books in her library
have handwritten marginal notes,
each carefully read
without damage
to their spines.

She aspires to kindness,
helps out the cook
pairing entrees with wine.

She listens, forgives
while her husband defends
his transgressions,

tells all her friends
she admires his linage
and how he expands
his father’s vast fortune,

a business
she doesn’t understand,
investments kept on the move,
hidden by attorneys
in foreign accounts,
called contributions,
charitable donations,

money that goes to his son,
gets him in Harvard
where he’ll sow his wild oats,
then marry a woman
who is just like
his mother.

I'm not sure "eugenics" is really the word you're looking for here. Historically, in the US it was about forced sterilization of "undesirables.
That is how most will relate to the term.

I'll come back later to crit

As I understand it it’s more the idea of selective breading, in the case of this poem upper class breading upper class. I do understand many see the term as you mention, hmm, let’s see how others view it.

Good one....my favorite lines, which tell so much about the character, are:

The books in her library
have handwritten marginal notes,
each carefully read
without damage
to their spines.

I have made revisions, still thinking about the title, considering ‘Selective Breading’

I like the original better. I think the title muddies the water. A better title would make it done in the original version.

Thanks Billy, the final will probably be a mix of the two versions, still working on a title.

Dale. Like to nom this...

Thanks Ken, that would be great, I am changing the title to ‘Selective Breading.’

I have been waiting for a link for new nons.

Well be sure to correct the typo on "breeding"

Ha ha, will do.

I’m sure I’ll be nominating one of yours when the link is posted, let me know if you have a preference.

Thanks. Nothing I have posted this month I'm interested in