From the Wooden Hut - V3

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FranktheFrank
Posts: 1534
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

From the Wooden Hut - V3

#1 Post by FranktheFrank » 03 Nov 2018, 13:29

In memory of a fellow poet, who found merit
in an early draft of this poem.
Wherever he is I wish him well.


From the Wooden Hut

His work, in its overtly emotional impact, its insistence on the importance
of sound and rhythm, its primitivism, and the tensions between its biblical
echoes and its sexual imagery, owed more to his background than to the
prevailing taste in English literature for grim social commentary.
Therein lay its originality.

The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 5 November 2018.

Above the lemon washed boathouse set on the cliff
over the salt sea marsh opposite Black Scar, he created
wild characters: of Gossamer Beynon's longing for Sinbad,
"I don't care if he's common and drops his aiches,"
she murmured to herself, "I just want to gobble him up."
He wrote of Captain Cat's monologues with dead shipmates
who surprisingly talk back to ask about life up there,
of Polly Garter who scrubbed floors with her dress lifted
up and over and tucked into her bright, brassy, voluminous
and ruby coloured knickers, and Mr. Willy Nilly who steamed
letters before delivering to the townspeople to inform
them of the messages before they even had a chance
to open them for themselves, those odd, long, patient,
and resigned inhabitants of Llareggub,
a village not unlike Llamedos.

He could get away from Her-Indoors,
no Blodeuwedd she, no dainty flower.
Any passing local could serve her
as she danced cartwheels on a yellow
bay to display a pimpled bare bottom
and the kelp scrambled matting
of her cockled twmpath.

Vernon, his erstwhile friend would visit,
a warrior of words, an Arthur of literature
who heard, when shillings rattled
at the bank, the sound of pebbles clattering
at Ginst Point. They would sit, drink bitter,
and listen to the sounds of the marsh,
to the music of the sedge warbler's call,
an infinite series of ratchet-trills and warbled
peeps, no one call the same, far beyond
the capabilities of any mere composer's grasp.

The Foyle poetry prize and fame brought money
and lucrative reading circuits, the public went
mad for his readings, he became a ramrod right,
killed off by strangers. Alcohol abuse,
heavy smoking, promiscuity and asthma,
his weakness from smoke-filled taverns,
combined to bring him low. An inept
doctor finished off what was left
with overdoses of morphine sulphate.

Did he look back as his life force ebbed
to those days with Vernon, sitting
in the hut drinking beer, rolling words
like shag tobacco in thin paper, listening
to the requiem of the sedge warbler's call,
or did memories flood in like the foaming
tide: Polly Garter awash with seamen
among the bluebelled bedding
of creamy slopes under Milk Wood.

BobBradshaw
Posts: 1399
Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03

Re: Tribute of a Wooden Hut

#2 Post by BobBradshaw » 06 Nov 2018, 10:07

I like the style you're developing, mixing in local slang....love the cockney her-indoors...the stanza is hilarious. I would move the third stanza up as the second stanza...the flow of the Vernon theme would improve. I especially like the next to last stanza...the writing is so good....I think you need a question mark at the end of the poem....I don't know the references in the first stanza...so I won't comment on it...someone else will know.
Overall, a lovely read....so glad you wrote it.

Love these lines:

They would sit, drink bitter, and listen
to the sounds of the marsh, to the music
of the sedge warbler's call,

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1534
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: Tribute of a Wooden Hut

#3 Post by FranktheFrank » 06 Nov 2018, 15:42

Thanks Bob,

capricorn
Posts: 306
Joined: 21 Sep 2017, 23:23

Re: From his Wooden Hut - V3

#4 Post by capricorn » 17 Nov 2018, 01:33

You have a great story telling ability, Frank. This one is filed with beautiful imagery. I also love the local slang which makes this quite original. I feel I am in the poem as I read. So many lines to like. The lemon washed boathouse just drew me in.


Eira

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1534
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: From his Wooden Hut - V3

#5 Post by FranktheFrank » 18 Nov 2018, 13:52

Ta Eira, glad you enjoyed.

IndianaDP
Posts: 163
Joined: 24 Mar 2018, 16:53

Re: From the Wooden Hut - V3

#6 Post by IndianaDP » 26 Nov 2018, 18:00

Beautifullly written Frank. I ditto the accolades of others then add a bravo for the final stanza.

FranktheFrank
Posts: 1534
Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
Location: Between the mountains and the sea

Re: From the Wooden Hut - V3

#7 Post by FranktheFrank » 29 Nov 2018, 23:44

Thanks Dale, high praise indeed.

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