Wedding Of The Year
Wedding Of The Year
Being a wedding of the richest
illuminations overwhelm
cuisines are multinational
entertainments abound
charter flights throng the skies
eyes look above
perhaps nothing to see on the ground
as gentlemen and ladies
clad in brocade and tussar silk
decked with diamonds
with feet an inch above
sail like a waft of air
laden with aroma
Hermes Birkin bags dangle
while Rolex watches tick
the bride and the groom
turn a speck in the ocean
where extravaganza gobbles.
solemnity.
That being the event of the year.
Few uncaught by the ostentation
Wish the couple austerity and wisdom
in the midst of prosperity obvious.
illuminations overwhelm
cuisines are multinational
entertainments abound
charter flights throng the skies
eyes look above
perhaps nothing to see on the ground
as gentlemen and ladies
clad in brocade and tussar silk
decked with diamonds
with feet an inch above
sail like a waft of air
laden with aroma
Hermes Birkin bags dangle
while Rolex watches tick
the bride and the groom
turn a speck in the ocean
where extravaganza gobbles.
solemnity.
That being the event of the year.
Few uncaught by the ostentation
Wish the couple austerity and wisdom
in the midst of prosperity obvious.
meenas17
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- Posts: 2693
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Wedding Of The Year
Hi Meena, hope you have a great new year....
I enjoyed these lines the best:
clad in brocade and tussar silk
decked with diamonds
with feet an inch above
sail like a waft of air
laden with aroma
especially "sail like a waft of air/ laden with aroma"
I enjoyed these lines the best:
clad in brocade and tussar silk
decked with diamonds
with feet an inch above
sail like a waft of air
laden with aroma
especially "sail like a waft of air/ laden with aroma"
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- Posts: 2693
- Joined: 03 Jun 2016, 21:03
Re: Wedding Of The Year
Also, the last 3 lines should be dropped... too telling and not as interesting as the rest of the poem
Re: Wedding Of The Year
Great subject, well written. I agree with Bob concerning the final lines.
Re: Wedding Of The Year
Am happy that you enjoyed the lines.
The last three lines, you feel, should be dropped.
I will consider in my revision.
Thanks, Bob.
The last three lines, you feel, should be dropped.
I will consider in my revision.
Thanks, Bob.
meenas17
Re: Wedding Of The Year
Thanks, IndianaDP.
Oh ! the final lines pose a problem.
Must give a thought.
Oh ! the final lines pose a problem.
Must give a thought.
meenas17
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Wedding Of The Year
Very nice, I understand you had this nominated, it deserved the nod.
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Wedding Of The Year
Yes, it has.
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- Posts: 1988
- Joined: 02 Mar 2016, 18:07
- Location: Between the mountains and the sea
Re: Wedding Of The Year
Seek and you will find.